How long before #-close?

I was just wondering how long into any interaction you guys go about getting a number. some people seem to do it really fast, while others take a few hours before getting the number. Do you use other peoples lines you read about or just flat out tell them to put their number in? This is a curiousity post, just for reference.

Does anyone vary when they get the number and compared it to the flake rate? Thats just another strand of thought but not the paramount question I ask.

MattJacks wrote:

I was just wondering how long into any interaction you guys go about getting a number. some people seem to do it really fast, while others take a few hours before getting the number. Do you use other peoples lines you read about or just flat out tell them to put their number in? This is a curiousity post, just for reference.

Does anyone vary when they get the number and compared it to the flake rate? Thats just another strand of thought but not the paramount question I ask.

This is my personal opinion based on what I can remember when I'm out in the field, and to produce better results. It is possible to get a number in under 5 minutes of interaction, however, I strongly warn against this as the number will likely flake. Thinking back it's typically between 15-25 minutes of interaction that I ask for and get a solid number. The whole idea behind this is you have had enough time to build proper attraction with the girl you are interested in. You are now a little ways into the begins of "comfort" phase where you are learning about each other. At this point you can ask and will very likely receive her phone number. Then spend an additional few minutes talking to her before leaving with her #. This way you don't just get her # and go off to celebrate.

The reason the quicker number closes don't work is this. She might very well be attracted to you but she's attracted to a lot of guys that she meets. You may call her but what are you going to talk about? You don't know and neither does she. She's doesn't know you very well and not comfortable with you yet. This is what typically causes things to flake out. Instead of being some cute guy she met, you are now a person with a personality and stories. If there is no comfort you are forcing her to participate in awkward moments which no one really likes to do. That is an uncomfortable feeling that you should try to avoid if at all possible.

The time frame I have listed is loose, but is mainly again determined after you have spent a little time in comfort phase. You then get her phone number simply by asking for it. If you choose to use a gambit or routine then feel free to do so. I've used both with good results. At this stage it shouldn't be very difficult to get her #. She is now attracted to you and comfortable hanging out with you. I typically just say, "This has been interesting getting to know you. I'm not totally convinced on you yet, (hand her your phone) but I'd like to continue this conversation." There are tons of ways to ask her for the number so don't get hung up on the wording. You just want to ask with confidence. Lastly, remember to spend a few more minutes talking before you get up to leave after receiving her phone number. I have actually had women compliment me on doing this.

There are times that because of things happening you won't have this much time to do all this. This above is the ideal circumstances and 80%+ will probably fall into depending on what type of venue you are doing things. If you get a number faster realize the likelyhood that it will flake increases, but may still produce something.

Well, since I normally do things on the fly, my time period varies. And since I'm normally pretty up front, I usually just tell her to put the number in my phone while I hand my phone to her and tell her we can hang out sometime soon.

I've gotten numbers anywhere from a few minutes in to a few days in, depending on if it's in person, online, what's going on at the time, etc. Yes, I've had flakes as well, but not many anymore. Even if I don't get back together with the girl, 99% of the time we do at least talk some. I've only had a couple not even respond.

I find it's best to wait till you're near the end of the interaction before getting her number build some real comfort and attraction and find a common interest and some genuine reason to meet her again.
I very rarely use lines I just come out and say "What's your number?

Online I usually get a number an email or 2 before a meet up.

Thanks guys, I will keep this all in mind, I allways thought it was longer but I guess getting the number early is like giving her an IOI

It depends, personally i seem to have the most success when i simply dont ask for it and they offer it to me. I have not had handing the phone to a girl work yet, im not a big fan of doing that. Usually its enough to subtly imply that a number exchange should take place and if they dont intiate it then dont bother. Occassionaly id go more direct and just flat out ask for the number, but ask in a more level way, "We should exchange numbers and countinue this convo another time."

If im doing an exchange i may give them my number, then test them by telling them to call me right then, telling them ill just save it from the missed call. Or the other way around they give me the number and i make the call right then so they get my number.

This accomplishes 2 things...ive verified they gave me the right number, i've eliminated the possibility or excuse that they didnt pick up bc they didnt recognize the number.

This is all about calibration, you must be able to gauge how the situation is going to go. Are you on the go? Is she on the go? Where are the conversational connectors? These are many factors that can determine if a close is possible. When in doubt, follow Jsmooth, best advice. I am fortunehooks and I approve this message. peace,lvoe and succe SS

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

I am fortunehooks and I approve this message.

Hahahahahah ok then I will do as you say O Great Fortunehooks

"Then spend an additional few minutes talking to her before leaving with her #. This way you don't just get her # and go off to celebrate."

I think this is a crucial point. When you get her number, it should be as if it's a normal thing and it didn't affect your conversation, and you continue the talk. Because of this, the event of her giving you her number will be remembered but not highlighted. What she will remember more, is the nice time you had together.

Suppose you ask her number and go away, then she'll remember you more as the guy she gave her number to. And that's not cool.

Btw, A while ago, I went out with AFC friends, got a number from a nice girl and immediatly went back to them and they all hugged and high 5'ed me in a childish way and the girl saw that. I never texted her.

Cheers,

V