Need a lil help here guys..

This is my profile on Plentyoffish.com

Thats my profile introduction down below...

Congratulations on finding this profile, now to embark you on a brief journey on how I came to be. At this point in my life, im starting to be very busy, Im a passionate man, who loves his friends and Family. I dont have time for all the drama and thats why I moved from Largo to have some piece of mind and get my stuff 2gether and ready for the next move.

Im the oldest of my circle of friends so its only natural they come to me for advice, and while im wrong sometimes, alot im right.. i have a great skill of deduction. When Im not busy, im either playing online, PS2 OR Xbox style, if not flag footabll, basketball, drawing or reading something that interest me online.

Im not a hard person to get along with and I easily make new friends out the blue. I really do love life and what it has to offer, and the lord has been great to allow me to live this long.

So heres what Im looking for from the people that should take interest in my life, good sense of humor if you dont no how to laugh then you dont want to be around me. Honestly and Loyalty mean alot, and to the ladies you dont have to like what I like, if your different then thats cool, but please be open enough to at least try something that I would do. Wanna get to know me, press the message Icon below the picture and Ill get back to you when Im not reading, playing online or working hard to make a living for myself and future.

This is what I would do on a first date.

Im sorry the website says the longer the desciption the more responses I should get and first of all do you really think Im so predicatable, im spontaneous and fun.. Having something planned would be for proposal or surprise birthday party type of stuff. Sorry ladies your just gonna have to be surprised!!

Here is the whole profile

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member7443129.htm

Juice wrote:

Im sorry the website says the longer the desciption the more responses I should get and first of all do you really think Im so predicatable, im spontaneous and fun.. Having something planned would be for proposal or surprise birthday party type of stuff. Sorry ladies your just gonna have to be surprised!!

I'm no king of online, but personally, I would leave what I bolded off.

I'm no expert on online game but I'd do the following

Quote :

Thats my profile introduction down below...

Congratulations on finding this profile, now to embark you on a brief journey on how I came to be. At this point in my life, i am DELETE starting to be very DELETE busy, Im a passionate man, who loves his friends and Family. I dont have time for all the drama and thats why I moved from Largo to have some piece of mind and get my stuff 2gether and ready for the next move.

Im the oldest of my circle of friends so its only natural they come to me for advice, DELETE and while im wrong sometimes, DELETE im often right.. i have a great skill of deduction. When Im not busy, im either playing online, PS2 OR Xbox style, if not flag footabll, basketball, drawing or reading something that interest me online.

Im not a hard person to get along with and I easily make new friends out the blue. I really do love life and what it has to offer, and the lord has been great to allow me to live this long.

So heres what Im looking for from the people that should take interest in my life, good sense of humor if you dont no how to laugh then you dont want to be around me. Honestly and Loyalty mean alot, and to the ladies you dont have to like what I like, if your different then thats cool, but please be open enough to at least try something that I would do. Wanna get to know me, press the message Icon below the picture and Ill get back to you when Im not reading, playing online or working hard to make a living for myself and future.

This is what I would do on a first date.
DELETE
Im sorry the website says the longer the desciption the more responses I should get and first of all do you really think Im so predicatable, im spontaneous and fun.. Having something planned would be for proposal or surprise birthday party type of stuff. DELETE Sorry ladies your just gonna have to be surprised!!

I agree with Hobbit and Tripp here on the edits suggested. You've wrote a really good profile. It's not too long and it conveys the right things. Make those few small tweaks and you should be good to go man!

Fixed thanks for the advice