Questions for you guys...

Okay say you meet a girl and you start teasing her in a playful way. She doesn't respond well.

What is the first thing you think/act in this situation?

She doesn't have a sense of humor?
I need to change and tone it down a bit?
I guess we just aren't gonna "click" and move on?
Let me try a different approach?

etc etc

I am just curious...I will give you my thoughts after some responses....

I usually alter the way, I am trying to convey my remarks. more expounding on this soon. PLand S

An amendment, every girl is different so have to treat her as such. What I do is try to convey to the girl, that I'm the best thing going today, initially. If she isn't particularly trying to buy such a high value item(myself) I offer her some ways that she can improve her spending in this interaction. I turn it more into friendly chatter that can go in many conversational directions. peace,lvoe and succe SS

I will tease her some more by playfully asking her if something wrong with her like. "Did you dog die? House Burn Down? Ohhhh BOYFRIEND...it has to be the Boyfriend!!"

If its none of those I eject because I only like to be around fun people! I don't need LEECHES sucking my happy enegry out of me!

I would try something different. But if again, no response I would assume that her sense of humor is too different to mine, then I would leave

When I approached girls and didn't get any reaction from them or a reaction that wasn't what I expected I typically ask her friend the old Mystery line, "Is she always like this?" I'm looking for their reaction to gauge what I do. If they basically say, "yes." Then I will start to ignore her and talk to her friends who aren't sticks in the mud. If they say "no" then I realize that I may have come across as too strong and will alter my approach. Typically something like, "You know what let's start over...I'm Jon...and you are?"

How I behave really depends on the vibe from the girl and the group in general. I may ask something similar to what Whoopie suggested asking if she's just having a terrible day, and doesn't want to be bothered. In which case I'll tell her it was a pleasure meeting her and move on.

90% of what I say is at least partially joking and most of the other 10% can be rephrased so as to be more light-hearted. If she takes it hard, then I usually pull back, smile and let her know I'm just joking around or that she took what I said differently than I had intended it. Usually she's just in a bad mood and by joking a bit and teasing her about lightening up and that gets her smiling and turns things around. If that doesn't work out the way I hope, then it's usually because she just has a negative personality and I'll laugh it off and walk away, or do like J says and check with her friends to see if that's how she typically is etc.

~Meg~ wrote:

Okay say you meet a girl and you start teasing her in a playful way. She doesn't respond well.

What is the first thing you think/act in this situation?

She doesn't have a sense of humor?
I need to change and tone it down a bit?
I guess we just aren't gonna "click" and move on?
Let me try a different approach?

etc etc

I am just curious...I will give you my thoughts after some responses....

Great question. For me, there isn't one answer. It depends entirely on the dynamics of the situation. All the different variables. For instance, am I there alone? Am I there with a guy? Am I there with a girl?

As far as my thoughts, my immediate thought is usually she doesn't have a sense of humor, the next thought is usually she's with someone else and I didn't know it. Those two thoughts took approximately two seconds to flash through my mind, so from there it's calibration.

What I would do is, if I'm by myself and she's just acting like a stuck up prude, then I'll just tell her to have fun and eject with a smile. If I'm with a girl, I'd look at the girl with me and say "wow, I'm glad you're not like that" and open my eyes wide. If I'm with a guy, I'd look at him and say something like "hmm, looks like we got a prude, let's move on."

As far as I'm concerned, if she's already thinking negatively and thoughts like "just leave me alone" then whatever I say, no matter how positive or negative really isn't gonna change that, so I'll make that type of comment and start walking away. If I'm right about her, she won't stop me. If I'm wrong about her, she'll do something to get my attention and start talking to me. That's the point I would normally ask if she's had a bad day or something.

It depends on her reactions, my first assumptions are its me and i change up my aproach, but if after a few times shes not taking any of it positively then i assume there is no sense of humor and i stop wasteing my time.

To take this a dimension further, if this is someone i know at all, even just a friend of a friend, i seriously ask them if things are ok. I have always had a knack for getting people to open up and in a case like this if something is legitametly bothering them ill spend a few mins of my time to try and cheer them up.

ok...now the reason I ask...

It seems like a lot of guys calibrate too much to make it a successful pickup. If you have to change for a particular person then maybe instead of trying to make it work you should move on? (Then again I guess its hard when you are just learning.)

~Meg~ wrote:

ok...now the reason I ask...

It seems like a lot of guys calibrate too much to make it a successful pickup. If you have to change for a particular person then maybe instead of trying to make it work you should move on? (Then again I guess its hard when you are just learning.)

I tell guys to hit the range of possible approaches and responses when learning. Be overly cocky and get blown right the fuck out. Be way too nice and be let down nicely, or ignored. then hit somewhere in the middle, then half it on either side of that and keep doing that in order to experience the entire spectrum of possibilities. That's how you learn to calibrate best from my personal experience, but that's my particular method and other people go about it differently and put too much effort into constantly calibrating, which makes them very incongruent seeming.

~Meg~ wrote:

ok...now the reason I ask...

It seems like a lot of guys calibrate too much to make it a successful pickup. If you have to change for a particular person then maybe instead of trying to make it work you should move on? (Then again I guess its hard when you are just learning.)

Yeah, that's the tricky thing about "calibration". It's truly a "fine tuning" that develops and improves constantly through practice. It comes easier to some guys than to others. It is obviously based on each individual because we are all different, but you do make a good point, that a lot of guys over calibrate, and that they do need to just move on at times.

~Meg~ wrote:

ok...now the reason I ask...

It seems like a lot of guys calibrate too much to make it a successful pickup. If you have to change for a particular person then maybe instead of trying to make it work you should move on? (Then again I guess its hard when you are just learning.)

The reason i would calibrate is simply because its possible for the other person to missinterprut what im saying or take it the wrong way. Some people can take the heat and like challenges, other people do not like that kind of attention. A sense of humor is a huge plus when talking to someone, especially if they can take a joke (or 2 )...