Are guys becoming lazy?

It seems as though girls are more aggressive these days (probably due to feminism and equality). They initiate more calling, dates, more sex, etc. Therefore, do you think that this change in the dating scene has caused guys to become "lazy" when it comes to approaching and dating girls?

~Meg~ wrote:

It seems as though girls are more aggressive these days (probably due to feminism and equality). They initiate more calling, dates, more sex, etc. Therefore, do you think that this change in the dating scene has caused guys to become "lazy" when it comes to approaching and dating girls?

I really like this post! I agree that there are more women out there that are more aggressive. I have a lot of women who will call me to ask me out, or initiate the texting or calling. However, for every one of them I have one that is "old fashioned" and expects me to call her up and ask her out all proper like. I can see your point that because more women are this way then guys can tend to be more "lazy" as you put it. Of course, I know through personal experience that being the proactive one to approach and initiate dating is still appreciated and mostly preferred by women.

I really do feel that a lot of men have the idea that "someone will find them" kind of idea. With the way women have become more independent in our society as oppose to the way it was some 40-50 years ago, it has changed a lot! I see your point, and I certainly agree with it too. A lot of men feel like the "right one" will come and find them.

Thanks for posting this!

I'm not lazy... I'm just too heavy of a prize to move around easily. Excalibur wasn't lazy, it just took a sexy dude like Arthur to attain the prize. Now, I'm not saying I'm looking for a sexy dude to attain me... but I wouldn't object ;-)

~Meg~ wrote:

It seems as though girls are more aggressive these days (probably due to feminism and equality). They initiate more calling, dates, more sex, etc. Therefore, do you think that this change in the dating scene has caused guys to become "lazy" when it comes to approaching and dating girls?

Good question, but no, I don't agree with it. Guys usually fit into different categories. There are the AFC's that are lazy MENTALLY, which is why they don't get anywhere. There are the PUA's that have learned what to do and how to do it. They aren't lazy, they just know what they are doing, so it may LOOK like they are lazy. Then, there are the naturals. And, we could get into a debate between PUA and natural, but that's not the point of this post, is it?

PUA's do pursue girls at times. But, we don't pursue the target in an obvious way. Or, you can pursue the target in an obvious way if you use direct game and the veneer works with you that way.

But no, in general, I don't believe guys overall are any lazier than they used to be.

Hobbit wrote:

I'm not lazy... I'm just too heavy of a prize to move around easily. Excalibur wasn't lazy, it just took a sexy dude like Arthur to attain the prize. Now, I'm not saying I'm looking for a sexy dude to attain me... but I wouldn't object ;-)

Hobbit, that is gold my man. I have no idea if guys are becoming lazy because of females' new way of thinking. I do think that some guys can create an excuse to not select the girls they want because of this thought process. It all depends on your view from the fence.

I agree some guys are lazier, I do agree with tripp ... women know if a guy approaches them...she has value because why is he here? Thats why we disqualify ourselves so now..it would go from why is he here to what is he doing!!!

Or better yet "What does he have"?

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

I do think that some guys can create an excuse to not select the girls they want because of this thought process.

This is so true Fortune.

The "eh, she's not my type" stuff and "she's not perfect" and "she's a 10 and I can't get 10's yet" and all kinds of variations of this stuff.

Juice . . . exactly.

Yeah, thats why I say every girl is my type... if she can qualify..its ez to approach women, just takes some guts and courage.. what I like to do in my venue is walk around and start talking to people.. all over the place some girls, even ask me if I work here

Juice wrote:

Yeah, thats why I say every girl is my type... if she can qualify..its ez to approach women, just takes some guts and courage.. what I like to do in my venue is walk around and start talking to people.. all over the place some girls, even ask me if I work here

Now Juice, if we could package that attitude and spread it to every other guy here . . . lol.

Women already have the inherent role of having more sexual choice and being more picky. If you feel like arguing with this, just read some evolutionary psychology. If you are a creationist who doesn't believe in evolution, don't talk to me.

Combine this with the fact that women are also taking the male role of the initiator, which isn't natural. It scares men into feeling as if they no longer have a role and therefore makes them lose direction in the dating scene. Then, they have no choice but to become lost followers, trying to follow something that should be led. It hasn't become about laziness. It's become about fear and forcing men into their comfort zones.

In some ways, feminism got a little out of hand. The negative effects on the male psyche in society as a whole is evidence that it isn't exactly holding true to its pledged values of equality anymore. Men feel as if women have all the power in their interactions (especially in places where "political correctness" is popular) and they expect women to lead them now. Hopefully pickup can change that.

Chief wrote:

Women already have the inherent role of having more sexual choice and being more picky. If you feel like arguing with this, just read some evolutionary psychology. If you are a creationist who doesn't believe in evolution, don't talk to me.

A bit closed minded are we man? I can introduce you to some creationists who don't believe in evolution that still understand that the switches are hardwired, and understand everything else about pick up. Closing your mind won't help your growth.

Women, BTW, only have that inherent role because men give them that role. Because THOSE men don't have the guts to stand up for themselves.

Realize this isn't bashing you, but bringing forth another viewpoint.

L.A. Tripp wrote:

Women, BTW, only have that inherent role because men give them that role. Because THOSE men don't have the guts to stand up for themselves.

It's also a hardwired evolutionary adaptation.
In Sexual Selection and the Descent of Man, a research paper by Trivers (very big name in the evo psych field), the sex that invests the most energy in bearing offspring in any species is the choosier one. Women bear the burden of childbirth and literally risk their lives to make a baby. They're choosier.

L.A. Tripp wrote:

I can introduce you to some creationists who don't believe in evolution that still understand that the switches are hardwired, and understand everything else about pick up.

Hm, I can see how that'd be possible. Thanks for the fresh perspective.

L.A. Tripp wrote:

A bit closed minded are we man? I can introduce you to some creationists who don't believe in evolution that still understand that the switches are hardwired, and understand everything else about pick up. Closing your mind won't help your growth.

While it is possible that some creationists understand that the switches are 'hardwired', evolution is the only theoretical framework that explains why such behaviors would be so.

Quote :

Realize this isn't bashing you, but bringing forth another viewpoint.

Creationism isn't a viewpoint. Or rather, it isn't a scientific viewpoint.