How To Act When A Woman Likes You

How To Act When A Woman Likes You


***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Dave,

I've become a very generous guy lately. To all my
male friends, I'm giving them the gift of your
newsletter. To all my females, I'm giving the
gift of missing me.

I'm a recovering wuss. I took a few months off of
women and worked on my inner game, with great
results. I've started talking to new women again,
along with old girlfriends. I find that when the
c/f (Cocky & Funny) starts rolling, or even just
my newfound confidence, I often get a lot of
compliments. What's the best way to deal with a
girl coming out and saying "oh, you're so
cute/funny/etc..."? Should I ignore it and keep
the c/f going? Should I address it in a cocky
way? I'm assuming that graciously accepting the
compliment is never the right answer...

What would you say to a girl who compliments you
directly? (other than "Do you do third input?")
What would your tone/body language/eye contact be
like?

-J.M. >From new hampshire, where men are men,
women are few, and sheep are nervous.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ya know, this really is a great question.

One of the most important things to understand
as a man, is what to do when things are WORKING...
so you don't SCREW IT UP!

If you use the materials that you're learning
from me, you will start to have a magical thing
happen more and more often... women will start to
do and say things that clearly indicate that they
LIKE you.

Sometimes is will be a touch, sometimes a
compliment, and sometimes a smile. But these
things WILL happen more and more as you get better
and better.

I always laugh to myself when I bust a woman's
chops really hard, and she laughs and says "You're
so funny!" or "You really are good!" etc.

I still shake my head and wonder why the hell
it took me so long to figure all this stuff out.

But I digress... you know, while I'm
digressing, what's with you ending your email
with:

">From new hampshire, where men are men, women
are few, and sheep are nervous."

...?!

This is probably the third or fourth time that
I've seen this at the end of an email.

Tell me the truth... do chicks dig this?

You're making me nervous, man. Keep the sheep
talk on the DL, OK?

Uncool.

Now, when a woman does something that signals
"I like you," it is VITALLY important that you:

1) Know how to recognize it

2) DON'T do what MOST guy do

3) DO the right thing, and AMPLIFY it

So how can you tell if a woman is doing
something that says "I like you?"

Well, it's VERY important to remember that
women are far more "subtle" than men (most of the
time, that is).

If a man is interested in a woman, you can see
it all over his face. It's usually very obvious.

But women are different.

Women do SMALL things.

A little touch. A sly smile. Sometimes a
comment like "You're so cute" (as in your example
above).

But then IT'S GONE.

Women always seem to act like they're not quite
sure.

They don't send consistent signals that most
men can "read."

And when they DO send signals that are easy to
see, most guys respond in a way that makes those
signals stop... which makes things even MORE
confusing.

Again, women aren't as CONSISTENT as men.

A woman can seem like she's interested one
minute, then stand-offish the next.

So rule #1 is:

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DOING SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I
LIKE YOU", DON'T THINK THAT IT MEANS "I LIKE YOU
NO MATTER WHAT."

Much better to interpret subtle "I like you"
cues as "I like you for a second, but if you start
acting like a Wuss Bag or a Dumb Ass, it will all
be over in an instant."

Unfortunately for most guys, they take "I like
you" signals to mean "You've won my approval, now
you can do whatever you want".

And what do they do? Of course...

They turn into dorks, say or do a few stupid
things, and destroy it all.

Oh, how many times I've watched guys (myself
included) screw up perfectly good situations
because they just didn't get this concept.

Let me give you an example.

Let's say that you're out with a woman, and
you've been teasing her, and she smiles and says,
"I like you."

A typical "male" response is for a guy to think
to himself "OK, I'm in... she digs me" and to get
that rush in the head and chest.

Next thing you know, he's acting different.

He's talking about different things.

He's giving compliments.

He's being "nicer."

And what's the woman thinking while this is all
going on? Of course... she's thinking, "Uh oh, his
cool, calm, interesting personality was just a
cover for the secret inner-Wuss that was hiding
out, waiting for a little bit of approval from
me... AHHHHHH!"

Women KNOW that they're in control of the
situation. Or at least MOST of the time they
are... and they THINK that they are even during
the times when they're not.

They're constantly using different kinds of
communication to test and "feel out" the
situation.

Remember, MOST of the time when you're saying
something that you think is nice, charming, and
original, it's something that a woman has heard
about 47 times that week from other guys.

We guys act VERY predictably most of the time.

And women know how to tell if you're just
another loser who's pretending to be cool... who
will turn into an average Wuss at the first sign
of attraction from a cute woman.

Think about what I just said.

This is hard for a lot of guys to swallow...
but it's the reality of the situation.

There's something that women call "Sexual
Tension." It's also known as "Chemistry" or
"Attraction" as well. But only WOMEN know it this
way.

When you tease a woman, make her laugh, play
hard to get with her, act unpredictably, etc. in
the right way, you will create this tension. This
is what usually leads to a woman saying something
like "You're cute" or "I like you."

It's the TENSION that makes her FEEL it and SAY
it.

THE TENSION!

In these very special moments, you need to turn
the tension UP. Dial it up. AMPLIFY it.

Don't diffuse it all by saying "You're cute
yourself" or "I like you, too". Or by smiling like
a jackass wussy dork who has just seen his first
rainbow.

This kind of thing RELEASES the tension, and it
usually takes that wonderful electric attraction
feeling that the woman is feeling and INSTANTLY
kills it.

Does this make logical sense?

Hell no.

But it IS what happens.

OK, so let's talk about the RIGHT way to handle
this type of situation.

Remember when I said that it's the TENSION that
makes a woman feel the feelings and make the
comments?

And that you need to AMPLIFY it when you're
getting a positive response?

Nice.

Once upon a time, there was a scene in a movie
that illustrated this concept PERFECTLY.

In fact, it might be the all-time greatest
example of this principle that has ever been
recorded on film.

Remember the end of "The Empire Strikes Back,"
when they were about to put Han Solo into the deep
freeze?

Remember when Leia said, "I love you"...?

Remember what Han said?

Right, he said... "I know."

Perfect.

All of the sexual tension that built up in Star
Wars and Empire culminated in Leia confessing her
love.

And Han says, "I know."

Awesome!

Imagine being Leia. What could be going through
her mind at this point?

An answer like this isn't easy to understand.
It has all kinds of implications.

It's confusing.

It says, "I know you love me, because it's been
obvious for a long time...." But, it doesn't let
HER know how he feels exactly. It requires
consideration. It dials up the tension. It's
amazing.

By the way, I read that when they were filming
that scene, Han was supposed to answer, "I love
you too," but the director didn't like it. They
tried all kinds of things, and in the end Harrison
Ford made up that line on the spot in one of the
takes... and they kept it. Nice.

By the way, one of the BIG reasons why the
newer movies in the Star Wars series suck is
because there is no character like Han... think
about it. It's all boring, predictable stuff.
There's no sexy, arrogant, funny, wildcard
personality messing things up.

Like I pointed out after I saw "Attack Of The
Clones," Anakin had to kill an ENTIRE VILLAGE of
Sand People just to convince Princess A. that he
wasn't a complete and total Wuss. Would have been
so much easier and more entertaining if he would
have just had a PERSONALITY.

Whatever.

Now, where was I...?

Oh, yeah... amplifying the sexual tension...

If you're out with a woman, and you tease her
because she's wearing four inch heels by saying
"What's the deal, are you four feet tall without
those?", and she opens her mouth with the classic
"Oh no you didn't" look (smiling of course, with
that surprised smile)... and you dial it up to the
next level with "Oh, I'm sorry...Four foot
three?"... and she hits you on the arm...

...and then she stops, puts her hand on your
arm, and says, "You know, you're funny"...

...what do you do?

YOU SAY, "YEAH, I KNOW"... in a serious tone.

Or "Don't try to use compliments to make me
like you. It won't work. Go buy me a drink or
something... I prefer gifts and money."

Or look down at her hand on your arm, lean back
slightly, turn your head, and put your eyebrows
together as if to say "Just WHAT do you think
you're doing touching me?!"

TURN IT UP, my friend!

You TURN UP the tension.

AMPLIFY it.

Keep it going.

If you keep amplifying the tension and
attraction at each of these wonderful moments,
good things will happen.

Good stuff.

I love this post, because I get alot of this when im out.