If success breeds success...

Does failure breed failure?

I just got stood up. Confidence was shaky already, this, makes me feel even lower.

This is how i view negative things like being stood up or cheated on etc...

The sooner it happens the sooner you know that person isnt right for you. They just saved you months or even years of wasting your time on them. They did you a favor by showing you they dont meet your standards.

Id rather have a girl do something i dont like right off the bat then spend years dating or get married and then finding out.

The best way to deal with these things is to tweak your perspective so you can see the positive in the negatives. Sure it doesnt make you feel great when it happens, but if you can see the benefot in it for you, instead of just your raw emotional desire, then youll soon feel better and move on.

Just do me a favor, try this...

Seriously, stand up from your desk...i want you to scream at the top of your lungs and jump up and down, pulling your knees to your chest each time you jump. You know, like football players do on the sidelines. It doesnt matter what you scream, anything, it can be just sound, or you can say something like "Holy mackral, my feet dont stink!".

Try to be upset after doing that. Sometimes the best medicine is laffing, sometimes i will start laffing right as something bad ids happening to me, i mean that tom cruise deep belly laff....and it instantly makes me feel better and gets me thinking logically instead of emotionally.

The above exercise sets your mind right. It gets that negative energy out, makes you smile or laff, and gets your blood moving a bit. Try it and let us know how you feel after.

Ka brings a pretty good point!

If you ask me, this is largely, if not entirely based on your mentality.
What's wrong with letting failure breed success?
Nobody becomes successful without hard work and failure.

I remember when I just started to break through my confidence issues
I was so determined to number close one night that I failed thirteen times (fourteen if you count one pity number-close) before I finally did it.

-vH

All I have to say is Ka is one of the smartest people period. Larock, I would like to contend that a continued trend of failure can indeed make a successful turnaround difficult, but it can happen. Think of the Pittsburgh Steelers before the 1970's, perennial losers. Now in this day and age they have the most Super Bowls period. That can be you my friend, but it takes being able to gauge your own determination.

I have been stood up, but I have tried to make sure that my baseline confidence didn't dip to where it would be unreachable for a time or two. Think of it this way, the Milky way galaxy is 100,000 light years across. What takes place on this third rock isn't that significant. So go out and take control, the world is yours. peace,lvoe and succe SS

This keeps on going from bad to worse like a horror movie on getting rejected...AFTER the fact...

Pulled this girls number at a local shop on the beach strip. Texted. Started talking. Set up a date... nothing big.

Comes to find out she is still fucking her ex bf - trying to get back together. Why the fuck do women do this? Just shoot me out of the water when I was interested. Dont set up a date your not going to follow through with...

LaRock . . . STOP!!!! You're very own mentality is KILLING YOU!!!!

You pulled a girls number, texted, and started talking. FANTASTIC! THAT'S GREAT! That's progress! Quit wussing out about that.

So WHAT if she is still fucking her ex, trying to get back together???

Here's the difference between you and a guy who gets pussy all the time, whenever, wherever he wants. That SAME girl would have been laid by the guy who gets it all the time. That same girl, who is fucking her ex, who wants him back, would have been laid, even if she did get back with her ex. WHO CARES IF SHE IS STILL FUCKING THE EX AND WANTING HIM BACK??? You're NOT looking to marry this girl that you just met dude!!!! Come on.

It's time you realize what "testing the waters" means! Your mind is KILLING YOU! FUCKING YOU UP BAD!

You have such a negative mindset. You should be looking at this as a success because you were able to pull this girl, get a number, and a date.

~Meg~ wrote:

You have such a negative mindset. You should be looking at this as a success because you were able to pull this girl, get a number, and a date.

I try to see the glass half full. I really do. But in this case, I look at it like she used her smile and looks to get out a free dinner and a movie. Sure the company was good, but why hold hands and kiss? Why the front? She knew nothing was going to come of it - no future plans - no sexual activity. She led me on to get what she wanted.

When I fronted her about it, I got a "It's a misunderstanding..." - I might not be a PUA but I'm damn sure not retarded. Fool me once...

No, you're not retarded, you're right on that part. However, you're still extremely negative in your own mindset. I don't care WHAT she said, to be completely honest. Girls will usually not tell you exactly what's really on their mind. Hence the need for PUA to begin with.

To start with, this is one reason I always say never take a girl out and immediately give her dinner and a movie. Not only is it usually a boring first date, when you're actually supposed to be having fun and getting to know the other person, but gold diggers will be more obvious as well.

To be completely honest, I'm not exactly sure that this girl WAS just looking to get that out of you with nothing in return. I know you believe she was, but you're also backward rationalizing. I'm still not convinced.

I know nothing about this girl at this point, but I do know YOUR mindset. That's what leads me to this belief with this post.

What caused her to stand you up? What went on between you and her BEFORE she stood you up? Have to look at those things as well.

Look, for one thing, if a girl likes you, she will like you whether you spend your hard earned money on her or not. Period. Why start out and set the precedent for the "relationship" (when it hasn't even GOT that far yet!) on the wrong foot?

Ka wrote:

Just do me a favor, try this...

Seriously, stand up from your desk...i want you to scream at the top of your lungs and jump up and down, pulling your knees to your chest each time you jump. You know, like football players do on the sidelines. It doesnt matter what you scream, anything, it can be just sound, or you can say something like "Holy mackral, my feet dont stink!".

Try to be upset after doing that. Sometimes the best medicine is laffing, sometimes i will start laffing right as something bad ids happening to me, i mean that tom cruise deep belly laff....and it instantly makes me feel better and gets me thinking logically instead of emotionally.

The above exercise sets your mind right. It gets that negative energy out, makes you smile or laff, and gets your blood moving a bit. Try it and let us know how you feel after.

Your asking for advice and not taking it. I know the above sounds silly, but humor me and try it.

You know the definition of crazy? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Isnt that why you got into PU in the first place, to change how you aproach things?

So start by changing your mindset.

Your a unique, interesting, and charming guy and you know it...so why take that girl on a date she can get from any other guy? She saw the ordinary date, instead of the extrordinary guy you are taking her on a one of a kind date.

Get your head right, then start acting like that person you want to be, that person you see yourself as in your head.

The past is done, so fuck the past. You can learn from your mistakes, and move forward enjoying the success you know you can make from your negative experiences as well as your posititve. So go and get your head in the right place, stop moaping, and take the first step in the right direction!

Rockstar you have the majority of us in your corner supporting your moment in the sun of success. My man some young ladies aren't going to always perform the way that we want them too. Im certain you already know this fact, but it bears repeating.

As spoken previously, adjusting your mindset to a mindset that doesn't derail your confidence is paramount to lasting self acceptance. What I want you to do is comb through the times in which you were getting laid with girls and commanding the room. Find those emotions again and make those memories more impressed on your mental pane.

I believe that you would be best served by following LA's,Meg's and KA's advice. They all know what they are talking about my friend. peace,lvoe and succe SS