Advice needed

Hey guys i need advice. This girl i hooked up with last year came back weve been talkin but we never left off on a good note. Weve been talking as friendsfor a few weeks and today she said lets hang out and i said i dunno everytime we do u say its awkward and we have nothin to talk about. She made a joke saying well we dont need to talk wink. Then she said im kidding, so i said every joke has a little truth in it and you know you wouldnt deny me. She said no i am really kidding i wouldnt. What does this mean you think if i made a move shed deny me?

Possibly. However, why does that matter? Almost every girl will show a little resistance even if she is interested.

I just wanted to see if it would have been a lost cause and if i should even waste my time with it or not.

She would deny you just for the fact she's taught not to put out for anyone and everyone, which is a good thing.

However, if you know how to kino and verbally escalate . . . you wouldn't be wasting your time. Why? Because she's already said she wants you.

so you think i was correct there was alittle truth behind her joke...

Couple things to mention here.

1) The first day of any relationship is always the best, it just goes downhill from there. So what im saying is, whatever you guys had before is the best its gonna be, so do not expect to "patch" things up and make things really work.

2) Never let on to a girl that you feel awkward or uneasy around them. Dont even let yourself know you feel that way...plain and simply make it work.

3) As Tripp and Meg pointed out, she would prob go for it assuming you apply the proper methods to the situation. Your line was good, it lets her know you see through the crap, but its not enough to get you in.

Lastly not really a point just an observation, her sexual comment was simply her pushing boundries and testing you after you let in you felt akward around her...actually probably a shit test. Afterall if you wouldnt hang out with her bc you felt wierd, but youd still go see her to mess around, well then she knows what your intentions are flat out.

I agree with most of Ka's post. A couple of things I differ on:
I don't believe the 1st day of a relationship is always the best. I do believe it can be better than that later. Plus . . . lol, she wouldn't "probably go for it" (no offense Ka, lol, or maybe it's just my frame), she WOULD go for it if you escalate properly.

hmm very good points guys. She has done this few months back to made a similar comment saying. Would you consider getting back with me this and that would you hook up with me and all that. Im like honestly you really got to have some serious game for me to even consider anything again.

Wait . . . you told her she has to have some really serious game for you to consider anything?

yeh but this was a different time before

Yeah, that's my point. You may have made your task harder, of getting intimate with her.

You've had open invitations from her in the past. Get her back to that point.

Playing hard to get with a girl is fine to an extent . . . but you don't want to overdo it either, if you actually like her.

L.A. Tripp wrote:

I agree with most of Ka's post. A couple of things I differ on:
I don't believe the 1st day of a relationship is always the best. I do believe it can be better than that later. Plus . . . lol, she wouldn't "probably go for it" (no offense Ka, lol, or maybe it's just my frame), she WOULD go for it if you escalate properly.

The point of the saying is to illustrate that people are on their "best behavior" when they first meet, its just natural. When we first meet someone we like we try to make a good first impression...and after that people stop hiding behind the fasade. Its typical that after time we often find the person we are with isnt the person we first meet, not bc they changed but because you have meet the real person. Of course, this effect is a two way street.

Is that to say it cannot be better then the "first day"? 99% of the time no...but i guess anything is possible.

Also Tripp, its not frame, its being a realist...you cannot know for sure what another person will think or do, the logical reaction is not always the one that happens. Sure books, teachings, theories and hell maybe experience even lead us to beleive what will happen...but theres always an exception. Even the best face this reality, like Style for instance. Free will is something we cant control in others, we can sway opinion and persuade, but in the end its the persons choice.

I still stand by what i said, and the more i think about it the more i think her comment was a shit test, which you didnt crash and burn on but you didnt pass with flying colors either. I think she said it to see if you would hang out with her if she put out but not if it was just social.

Ok, got the first day thing.

On the free will part. I also agree wholeheartedly with the free will. However, my viewpoint is that she already made her own decision of her free will that she was willing to put out, before she made the comments she did. That's how I can say that if escalated properly, she WOULD go for it. Once a girl gives me certain signals, I know without a doubt that as long as I don't fuck it up, it's happening, if I want it, because she already wants it.

I agree, but i dont think she has signal'd or decided to put out...i think her comment was strickly a shit test...

She was trying to gauge under what circumstances he would hang out with her despite it being wierd at times. I dont think he bombed out and i dont think he passed with flying colors, i think his response was a bit better then average or just average.

how would you have responded to her comment Ka

I agree with meg and the guys, if you play your cards right you're in there. It's a shit test you want to play hard to get, but just a little bit.

I would have said "oh really and what are we going to do?" Her responce doesn't make much diference.

If she responded sexually I would have said "but we're just friends. You're trouble, maybe we could meet up but I want you to be on your best behavour." If she responded non-sexually I would respond "Hmm I don't know if I believe you, you're trouble if we meet up I want you to be on your best behaviour."

Well i wouldnt have brought up the akwardness to begin with, but assuming i had and she responded the way she did...

"Communication is important to me, don't you find it to be?"

"How are we gonna get to know each other if we can't talk?"

"Hey, im not that easy missy...were gonna have to get to know each other before before anything like that happens."

"Omg you're not one of those sexually repressed types are you?" (said with a disapointed tone, not excited!)

Basically i would have answered in a way that was NOT sexually explicit in this case, and would have tried to put her on the defensive about the not talking while keeping it light. IMO all of the above would have shown you where catching onto the shit test and not being lead into its trap.

I think her reaction at the end proves it wasnt flirting to a degree. Girls generally dont take back comments like that unless its a shit test or it was way explicit for their normal behavior and they end up have a quick flash of buyers remorse. When a girl is bantering with you they rarily if ever will take back what they said, especially if your escalating banter with them.

Oh sounds good. damn where do you guys get all this knowledge. Practice practice practice i guess huh