Taking A Break!

Fellow Members,

For the next week or so I'm going to be taking a break from the community. Everything gets quit a bit overwhelming at times and I need to prioritize some things in my life before I go any further. At first, I was about to leave the community and dismantle all my websites and stuff. The stress has been mounting up and getting to me. I am not entirely sure if I am going to leave this behind or not. I figure the best thing I can do at the moment before making an irrational decision is to take a break. So if I don't respond to your posts, text messages, IMs, emails, phone calls, or other requets please understand.

I will let you guys know my decision when I have made it.

Peace,

J. Smooth

Please don't leave J! I've been out of the scene for several months now, but I still contribute to helping others out, as people need guidance and you're one hell of a good teacher and role model. Even if you decide to stop actively expanding your abilities in the pickup department, there is a lot to be learned about self-improvement and relationships, as the community has evolved so far beyond it's roots of merely getting the girl.

I know how you feel though and a few months back, I said the same thing back in June I believe it was; I was considering deleting my accounts and retreating from the community all together, then I realised that if I ever regretted that decision and wanted to get back in, then it would be a tremendous hassle, so it would be much better to just take an undefined leave of absense. If you do decide you want out, that's what I recommend, because you never know how you'll feel several months or years from now and you don't want to have to go through all the trouble of re-establishing yourself and convincing people that you are the same person. It's not like leaving your accounts inactive is gonna cause any harm to anyone.

Like I say though, there's a whole lot more to this community than just picking up women and you've got some serious friends here, so if you drop off the map all together, then how will we find you? I'm still upset at Zig for having left without a word and never returning any of my messages, cause I considered him a life long friend, community or no and I'd like to be able to think the same of you.

Rye as always thank you for your kind words. You've always been a friend. Should I leave the community I wouldn't do so without some way for you guys to get in touch. As you know I haven't reached a decision as of yet. I really don't feel that I want to leave, but I do need to prioritize my life. I have become "The Game" and I need to get back to being Jon again. I have some priorities I have to straighten out for a bit, and most likely I'll be back.

Thanks again for what you wrote,

J

you have helped allot of people and if your having time off let me say thanks. hopefully you will still input in some areas occasionally but its your life to pursue the goals you set, not forfilling others

Good luck. The fact that you realized you've become "the game" is a good step.

Its ok , J, I support this.......you know what im gonna say

I had a scheme where I was going to try and employ some reverse pyschology techniques. I was going to write a co-signed note of approval for Jsmooth to gracefully leave with the extended option to return if you ever felt so implied to do so. Hence, I just couldn't do it in earnest, or with the sincerity I would've had to display for my scheme to strike the neccessary response signals.
I personally would be deeply disheartened if you decide to leave at this present juncture in time. My disappointment would be built on the premise of how well you have conducted yourself and how much I would miss you, Jon. I am convinced that you can inspire many more people in general. There are many more chambers in your mind that are yet to be discovered and in those chambers are treasures of social knowledge forged from your social experiences. You chose a path that not only garnered you with high value status, but it also gave you an opportunity to share what you have learned. It's my view that you shouldn't feel trapped with this responsibility but compelled to advance in this social arena. In this learned social dynamic science, the pressures are immensely taxing on those who have reached a high level of mastery. The scrutiny that many recieved because of their high levels of advancement in social dynamics is unfair in many cases. You wanted to be a fighter JSmooth, you wanted to be the champ- credit Rocky's trainer for that theatric interpolation.
In essence there are times where we have to make well informed, difficult decisions. Such maybe the scenario you found yourself in at this time. I am blatantly stating that I don't wish for you to ever leave, or even harbor such intentions in your psyche. The venusian arts need you and I am ready to learn more insight from you. May your decision be an honest one. peace,lvoe and succe SS

J,

PUA Guru or not... I still, and always, consider an excellent friend...
If you ever need anything - don't hesitate to pick up the phone!

J,man I personaly would hate seeing you leave,I haved liked your style sense intering the PUA community.You have helped me out alot.I enjoy seeing the game from your eyes.I would hate to see such a gifted,sencere,and caring friend leave.Now with that being said J it is all your choice in the end and only you can make that choice..What ever your choice will be,damn it as a group of brothers bonded by this PUA lifestyle,we would support you in what ever you decide but don't delete your accounts,let the newbies see your work so they can wonder what jsmooth was all about..I wish you the very best in what ever you do decide to do Jon..Either way I am glad to have met you via the internet..Thanks for being there when I needed help...Keep in touch...

Yeah I hope you come back Jon, as you're a very helpful teacher - advisor on this board
and it'd strike me as unhealthy if anyone didn't take a break every now and then.

Thank you guys for your support. I'm not convinced that leaving the community is a good idea. At the present time I don't feel that I want to leave. However, I still need to organize some things in my personal life. I am going to continue taking this time away to keep a clear head and sort things out in my mind. We'll see what ends up happening.

do what you gotta do man. this is only 1 facet of your life. take back whats yours. and good luck

Good Luck J!

Fellow Forums Members,

I thank you all for enduring me for taking this leave from the community. As most of you know I've been keeping up with things but just haven't really been posting or been very active. Sometimes when you are caught up in things the best thing you can do is to take a step back and look at it. That is what I was doing with this break. I have come up with a lot of answers to the questions that I was asking myself. Here are some of the questions I was asking myself.

Is the community really helping me reach my goals in life and with women?
I believe that it is helping me. Since joining the community I no longer fear approaching women to talk to them. I don't feel as self concious when out in public gatherings. A lot of my fears about the opposite sex have been clarified. I know that I am an attractive guy that has a lot to offer a woman. I feel better about myself, having lost weight, and gained more confidence. I know I have the ability to attract women in a variety of ways.

Am I taking on too many projects? If so, what projects can I stop doing?
Yes, I am taking on too many tasks at once. I have stopped work on www.JSmooth.Org it is something that I may later resume. I own the domain name and have access to put it back at anytime I want. This is something that I don't need to focus on at the moment. I don't need to worry about being a dating coach while I'm sorting out my own life.

I will continue my position here as a moderator. I feel that this is something that I can handle if I just budget my time a little better than I have been.

I will continue to work on my blog. This doesn't take a lot of work and it's just one or two posts a week or whenever I feel like it.

How far do I want to go in the community as far as teaching or otherwise?
Some of this I am still working on. I am not completely sure how far I want to go with this. A large part of me loves to teach and to help other people. I love getting feedback from people I have helped one on one in field. It's a great feeling knowing that you are the one who helped them get that kiss or that number.

Even though I feel this way about helping people 1 x 1 it's not something I'm going to focus on. If you are in my city and would like to hang out with me then that's perfectly cool. Depending on how much I like you, I might even spot you a couch to sleep on. Sure we can talk game and I'm happy to help anyone that comes down as a friend. If you are wanting me to instruct you then we'll work on a fee.

If things like workshops should become available to me where I can go out and actively teach with other people in the community and I can make the time available then I will. However, I'm not going to actively look for opportunities all the time and put any unwanted stress on myself.

What do I like about the community and what do I dislike?
I love the community as a whole and the bond that we have with each other. I love helping guys and them telling me that something I said or told them to do worked "like a charm." It's very rewarding.

What do I not like? The HB Rating system, some of the terminology and ideas, PUA handle names, etc. I'll probably rant more about this stuff on my blog than the forum. They are more my views and not the forums views. Who knows some of it will probably wind up here as well.

Is it worth it for me to stay in the community?

Yes, at present it is worth it to me to stay with the community in general.

At what point am I going to leave the community if ever?
Unsure, probably when I hit a lasting relationship that is leading close to being 100% exclusive or if I get to the point I'm about to get married.

These are not all the questions that I pondered but are the main ones. I have listed the answers I have come up with as a way for you guys to understand why it was that I was taking a break. There has been a lot of discussion about this and some rumors going around that I think I should clarify right now.

First and foremost, there were things going on with my family and their illness that I needed to address. I needed to take some extra time and spend it with my close family. My father recently had some surgery that turned out well but this was putting some extra strain on me. In addition, my grandmother is loosing her mind slowly and it's been tough to deal with. My mother turned to me for help, and I need had to pull my weight.

Also, I had multiple projects I was involved in with the community. I have this forum I moderate on, another forum I post on, problems in the Nashville Lair, my blog, my website, and the lots of PM's, instant messages, and emails I receive for help. Not to mention the writing of newsletters and other projects I was working on. I have cut out some of the extra projects.

I was spending more time with the community that I was with the women and friends in my life. That was a red flag for me so I needed to get perspective.

There are a few other personal matters as well that I will not discuss here because they are private to me, and shall remain that way. This was about me needing to get a grip on things, and really nothing more. I had too much that I had to juggle in my mind so I had to sort things out and eliminate some of them to give priority to the important ones.

I appreciate all of your understanding and your kind words that you have sent to me privately and publicly on the forums.

Most Sincerely and Respectfully,

Jon

Glad to see youve thought things out pretty rationally, it was tough because i wanted to give you ur space bro. Im glad you have calmed down and started getting ur head together

Juice wrote:

Glad to see youve thought things out pretty rationally, it was tough because i wanted to give you ur space bro. Im glad you have calmed down and started getting ur head together

That makes 2 of us man! Glad to see that moderator badge under your name by the way, congrats!

Oh yeah, this is good peacocking gear for the women on the website.. lol

I wasn't going to inquire about any of the dealings that were going on in your life, Jsmooth. It wasn't for the lack of compassion, but because I presumed that you would do, just what the paragraph did, outline what were some of the self-thoughts that were passing through your mind. I was worried for many seconds, that your self-imposed hiatus, might mark the end of the Jsmooth journey. A journey, that I may add, has not reached the epic proportions that it will. I thank you for keeping us informed on your decisions, and also recieving some advice, from bias counsel(myself)

I do think that partial breaks from any endeavours should continue to be apart of our lives. Yes, this involves the v-arts as well. Yeah, Juice is a mod. peace,lvoe and succe SS

Thanks FortuneHooks I do appreciate it the counsel that was given to me by many people around the community.

good to have you back. it seems you have done some serious thinking about life in general aswell. i hope everything works out

Welcome back!