What kind of shit is this?

I’ve discussed this ad nausem with my mentor, LA Tripp. I just thought I would post it here to see if anyone has had any similar experiences..


I’ve been on about 5-6 dates with this HB.. In so many words, she drops hints that she’s interested in me as a BF, but she wants to take things slow, etc. After all, she was with a guy for 3 years. She got engaged, but backed out one month before…. These are just some tid-bits to keep in mind..

I ask her on Monday if she wants to get together that weekend. She says “definitely!”

A couple days later, I text her:

ME: Let’s get together Sunday
HB: I can’t it’s Father’s day
ME: Ok. Sat night it is (she mentioned earlier in the week that Fri was girls night)
HB: I have a bbq to go to. I don’t know when we will meet up..

I suggest meeting up after her BBQ for a drink.. HB doesn’t respond. I call her a day later (Thursday). She doesn’t return my call.

I text her Friday night:
ME: What is up for tomorrow? Let me know ASAP.

HB doesn’t text me until Monday morning:

HB: Sorry I was very busy this weekend. Hope you had a good weekend.

At this point, I feel like I have no choice but to flush her… Here’s the breakup text I sent her:

“Since in all likelihood you and I won’t be exchanging Christmas cards this year, I’ll take this time to say I did enjoy meeting you and I wish you luck. Adios.

HB responds: Ok… take care

What do you make of this? What kind of shit was that she pulled? Do you think I was right for dropping her?

I dated a girl like that. That's exactly how she would act (She was weird with relationships, both romantic and friendly. She seemed she was hurt before) and I just kept doing freeze outs, jealousy, and constantly demonstrating value (although this was before I knew the names). I approached it as a game of showing interest and disinterest at the right times and the goal was to get her to let her guard down before I rewarded her. For each small thing she did to let her guard down, I rewarded it with a small sign of interest. I kept doing this until the end. Well it worked and she finally let her guards down and opened up. As a natural, I thought the experience was a great way of improving my game and understanding of women. I sometimes I wish I was as smart in PUA then to see how things would've been different. But it was exhausting.

Basically, if you thought she was worth the effort than it wasn't right. If she wasn't, then it was the smart thing to do.

I was THIS close to making this girl my GF. She had it all--- total gf material..

I just felt, out of principle alone, I had to do it. It was rude and inconsiderate to not return my texts and leave me hanging... So I felt like I had no choice but to flush her..

I dont completly flush girls out my self for being like that. I prefer to just stop talking to them without the little break up message. Then I let them chase me. If they dont I have a lot of other girls in my phone book that will return my texts and hang out.

Dont sweat it man. Lots of girls out there.

Totally... In fact, I replaced her by that Sunday.... I'm not sweating her, just wondering WFT was that? Was she playing a game or just begging to be flushed.?

Personally, I think you jumped the gun. She did say she was busy that weekend. PLUS, she never agreed to meet up on Saturday thus she never left you hanging. Realizing that her weekend schedule was pretty full, you should have dropped it and tried at a later date instead of pushing for that particular day. You are right she could have contacted you earlier, but you have to realize that sometimes people get overwhelmed. She did in fact text you only a couple days later.

~Meg~ wrote:

Personally, I think you jumped the gun. She did say she was busy that weekend. PLUS, she never agreed to meet up on Saturday thus she never left you hanging. Realizing that her weekend schedule was pretty full, you should have dropped it and tried at a later date instead of pushing for that particular day. You are right she could have contacted you earlier, but you have to realize that sometimes people get overwhelmed. She did in fact text you only a couple days later.

I see your point Meg, and people do in fact get overwhelmed . . . but ignoring someone you're supposed to be seeing as a b/f, w/o even texting to let them know what's going on? Seriously? What's it take to shoot a text off? A minute? Two maybe? That is, if you really do have that person on your mind.

Oh, and Diesel, as for the last text she sent . . . just blow it off.

~Meg~ wrote:

Personally, I think you jumped the gun. She did say she was busy that weekend. PLUS, she never agreed to meet up on Saturday thus she never left you hanging. Realizing that her weekend schedule was pretty full, you should have dropped it and tried at a later date instead of pushing for that particular day. You are right she could have contacted you earlier, but you have to realize that sometimes people get overwhelmed. She did in fact text you only a couple days later.

I have to say I agree. I have a serious problem with a lack of patience and so I'm working on not being bugged by this type of stuff. I often get too overwhelmed to get back to people, even when we talked about meeting up, but then I end up stuck at work and can't text cause it's busy, or I end up having a good time and it slips my mind, even though I was totally stoked to do whatever it was. IT HAPPENS!

This is where the 3 strikes rule comes in. Personally mine is also dependant upon what caused the offense, because perhaps her mom got in a car crash and I was upset that she never called, so I ask her what was up, then she tells me that info, well sorry but I can't hold that against her, her f.cking MOM was in a car crash! (No this hasn't happened to me, I'm just taking it to an extreme to make a point for you) If on the other hand, she just forgot and was sitting around her house doing nothing, or ended up making plans with someone else after we had set the plans up and it was within the last 48 hours (before that I accept that sometimes people may forget, hell I do it all the time, they'd just better make a point of not doing it more than once a month), THEN she's got a strike against her and if she gets 3, THEN you should say what you said.

You've got to realise that people are fallable, we make mistakes, YOU make mistakes. When you do, you hope to be forgiven. If you aren't, then you become jaded and upset at the person, so it is easy to say, "Ok, fine, have a good life". If you are forgiven, but the person lets you know it wasn't cool (don't over react when you do this, or it comes off just as bad and they don't want to try to work it out), then you try your best not to have it happen again. Last night my new boss told me a table needed a pitcher of beer, so I poured one and took it to them, but after was asked where it was, so I told him. His response was, "Ok. Unless I specifically ask you...DON'T take drinks to a table". Polite, moved right past the issue, but let me know not to do it and it won't ever happen again, you can be sure. Take the same approach with people outside of work, although you have to be a bit more tactful and polite because you aren't their boss and you don't want them to feel like you are trying to be.

So I got blown off on Sat, so, in standard PUA fashion, called up this girl and we hung out on Sunday. We've seen each other a couple of times during the week and I eventually F-closed her last night... Hardly the prude the other girl was... It's nice to have options.... and it makes it a hell of a lot easier to flush A when you have B,C,D,E, and F-- all good looking HB's who WILL return my calls...

Well, I share a common agreement with the opinions expressed on the board. This girl may not have deserved the axe, she could've deserved the axe, or you could've been indifferent about using the axe at all. All three expressions more or less are optional social paths. I do have a question though, was this girl the girl of your dreams who you axed? peace,lvoe and succe Ss

Cock Diesel wrote:

So I got blown off on Sat, so, in standard PUA fashion, called up this girl and we hung out on Sunday. We've seen each other a couple of times during the week and I eventually F-closed her last night... Hardly the prude the other girl was... It's nice to have options.... and it makes it a hell of a lot easier to flush A when you have B,C,D,E, and F-- all good looking HB's who WILL return my calls...

IMO, this girl is pretty hot.

Here are my thoughts. I agree with Meg completely, no doubt!

BUT...that last txt she sent you is her telling you she is putting up a front that she is ok. Like Tripp said, blow it off. I see your point to bouncing from A to B,C,D,E, and F, but don't backslide so much neither. If you feel as though you did the right thing, then you did. However, if you feel something is still there, thenhave another go, nothing wrong with that.

BTW, were you two seeing each other quite frequently? The reason I ask is because, Tripp is right, it doesnt take no more than 2 minutes to send a txt, but this is what I am thinking. With that small tidbit of info that you gave, with the 3 year relationship and such; I think the girl you flushed was taking a breath of fresh air, if you get my drift. Girls have to take time out from things to THINK about stuff. To reevaluate the "dynamics" between you two. She did tell you her plans for the whole weekend, which means she probably wished you were there but had obligations to fulfill. Do you get me?

Everyone does make mistakes, no one is perfect.

Paramour wrote:

Here are my thoughts. I agree with Meg completely, no doubt!

BUT...that last txt she sent you is her telling you she is putting up a front that she is ok. Like Tripp said, blow it off. I see your point to bouncing from A to B,C,D,E, and F, but don't backslide so much neither. If you feel as though you did the right thing, then you did. However, if you feel something is still there, thenhave another go, nothing wrong with that.

BTW, were you two seeing each other quite frequently? The reason I ask is because, Tripp is right, it doesnt take no more than 2 minutes to send a txt, but this is what I am thinking. With that small tidbit of info that you gave, with the 3 year relationship and such; I think the girl you flushed was taking a breath of fresh air, if you get my drift. Girls have to take time out from things to THINK about stuff. To reevaluate the "dynamics" between you two. She did tell you her plans for the whole weekend, which means she probably wished you were there but had obligations to fulfill. Do you get me?

Everyone does make mistakes, no one is perfect.

Thanks a lot for the responses--- all of you..

We had been seeing each other at a 1-2x/week frequency.. We rarely spoke on the phone.. If anything we would text.

I just think it was fcuking inconsiderate for her to not return my text ALL WEEKEND.... especially when I texted her the night before "What is up with tomorrow.. let me know ASAP"

Now, as I see it, there are a few possibilities here:
1) She REALLY was too busy to take 30 seconds to text me... (this is utter bullsht... no way is someone THAT busy)
2) She was playing a game with me...
3) She was begging for me to flush her.. (if that was the case, why couldn't she just give me the standard vanilla "you're a nice guy but...." text? It's not like she had to say it to my face..


The bottom line for me is this- From day one, I have been polite, courteous, and thoughtful of her. I have -never- been rude or disrespectful towards her. For her to leave me hanging like that was just disrespectful. I feel as though had I not axed her, she would lose respect for me anyway..

L.A. Tripp wrote:

Cock Diesel wrote:

So I got blown off on Sat, so, in standard PUA fashion, called up this girl and we hung out on Sunday. We've seen each other a couple of times during the week and I eventually F-closed her last night... Hardly the prude the other girl was... It's nice to have options.... and it makes it a hell of a lot easier to flush A when you have B,C,D,E, and F-- all good looking HB's who WILL return my calls...

IMO, this girl is pretty hot.

Actually, this was a girl I blew off earlier for A. I just called her up and was like "hey, let's get together" and she said "sure!"

This pic is from the wine walk yesterday.. Afterwards, we went to dinner where SHE PAID, then we went shopping at a few adult boutique stores... fabulous

Oh yeah.. She has a BF in Texas... She said he would look through her phone on occasion and read her texts.. Bingo! So at dinner, I asked myself "what would LA Tripp do?" And so I ran the BF destroyer followed by some sex talk... I'm pretty sure she'll get rid of him soon if she already hasn't.

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

I do have a question though, was this girl the girl of your dreams who you axed? peace,lvoe and succe Ss

Hard to say.... She was at least a 9, she was educated, a nurse, from a good family (and yes, big fake tits

But if she was the girl of my dreams, she wouldn't have purposefully left me hanging..

I WILL NOT be contacting her again.. Out with the old, in with the new.

I don't think that it is as simple as your 3 option that you list, that was my whole point with the mom in a car crash comment. I was going out with a girl that does a LOT of texting and talking on the phone, so her phone dies pretty often and she wouldn't recieve my texts, then I'd get upset with her for not replying when we had been talking back and forth for a few hours. She also left her phone at home one day when she went to lunch with her mom, then she ended up going back to her place and staying there for the weekend, so I didn't hear back from her about the plans we were making, as she doesn't know my number, it's just in her cell phone, just like most people.

Welcome to the world of life, where shit happens and you don't know what another person is currently dealing with unless you are in their shoes. This is why I'm suggesting to you that you remain unreactive and chill until you find out the reason WHY she didn't reply. If there is an actual reason, then cut some slack for god's sake, but if not, then you have a right to hold it against her; but perhaps giving people more than one strike would create most lasting relationships, as people do and WILL make mistakes, I guarantee you will and you're gonna hope/expect that she will cut you slack and forgive you.

Rye Lee wrote:

I guarantee you will and you're gonna hope/expect that she will cut you slack and forgive you.

As a matter of fact, I stood this very girl up on our first date...

We were supposed to meet for wine at 2pm on a Sunday. I went out with some friends Sat night, one thing led to another, and before I know it, I slept through out date..

Here's the difference, though.. I called and profusely apologized. I was honest and explained to her what happened, said I was very sorry, etc....

She blows me off and then sends a nonchalant text on Monday "Sorry, busy weekend....."

It would be a completely different story if she were to call/text and explain a damn good reason for blowing me off.

Me personally bro, I can connect with you one of the first HBs I picked up did the same thing to me, but she never text'd me back!! Personally, I have morals against taking girls from theyre B/F's but then again every girl is fair game if they dont have a ring on theyre finger

ok dude im my opinion you did so many things wrong. never "break up" over a text. even doing it over the phone is bad. if you really liked her, you shouldve forced her to a face-to-face talk. its so easy for her to say "ok...take care" over a text! i bet if she was face-to-face with you, she wouldnt be able to part ways. Either she has issues from the past and she got scared OR she got back together with that EX; which in that case u have no chance. Especially if she almost married the guy. (not that u arent better than him, but women can be stupid)

Like Rye said, this is too simplistic:

Quote :

Now, as I see it, there are a few possibilities here:
1) She REALLY was too busy to take 30 seconds to text me... (this is utter bullsht... no way is someone THAT busy)
2) She was playing a game with me...
3) She was begging for me to flush her.. (if that was the case, why couldn't she just give me the standard vanilla "you're a nice guy but...." text? It's not like she had to say it to my face..

4) She is a lesbian.
5) She was abducted by lesbians.
6) Testing to see if your different from the last guy.
7) She really was right behind you, in the bushes.
Her phone was dead or she lost it. (One girl I knew did this all the time)
9) She had open heart surgery.
10) She got selected to go on The Shot of Love. (See #5)
11) She was to busy with me, ya digg?


Don't assume. I learned that the hard way once. I was constantly aggravated for no reason because I'd assume and it was often not bad at all when I learned the truth.

DTM wrote:

ok dude im my opinion you did so many things wrong. never "break up" over a text. even doing it over the phone is bad. if you really liked her, you shouldve forced her to a face-to-face talk. its so easy for her to say "ok...take care" over a text! i bet if she was face-to-face with you, she wouldnt be able to part ways. Either she has issues from the past and she got scared OR she got back together with that EX; which in that case u have no chance. Especially if she almost married the guy. (not that u arent better than him, but women can be stupid)

'

Kind of hard to break up with a girl face to face when shes "FLAKING" on you all the time.

I'm going to say the text breakup was appropriate. Now, whether or not it was appropriate timing is another debate...

She always saw me as a funny/cocky/smart ass so, frankly, I think she would have been disapointed had I sent her your vanilla breakup text..

Diesel, I replied if that was the same girl you were smitten with in previous posts, because you were so excited about this prospect. I just don't want you to exhaust all of your options before you really axe a girl, who in your typed words was a girl of your dreams. I am on the team with Tripp the girl in the photo is slamming, good job. By all means take the girl from her boyfriend, some of these Texas dudes are bonafide asswipes, yucks, and solid pricks. Just in case he's not, his girl is a freak and he doesn't need her in his life, aha, my omniscience showing up again. Personally, I want you to give it another go with her, just to see where it goes and if its nowhere you she can kick rocks. Peace,lvoe and succe Ss

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

Diesel, I replied if that was the same girl you were smitten with in previous posts, because you were so excited about this prospect. I just don't want you to exhaust all of your options before you really axe a girl, who in your typed words was a girl of your dreams. I am on the team with Tripp the girl in the photo is slamming, good job. By all means take the girl from her boyfriend, some of these Texas dudes are bonafide asswipes, yucks, and solid pricks. Just in case he's not, his girl is a freak and he doesn't need her in his life, aha, my omniscience showing up again. Personally, I want you to give it another go with her, just to see where it goes and if its nowhere you she can kick rocks. Peace,lvoe and succe Ss

The girl in the photo wasn't the girl of my dreams.. She was plan B. Yeah, she's hot... but she's gonna be a code blue clinger.. It wouldn't surprise me at all if my bathroom cabs are full of tampax and finger nail polish by tomorrow...

The girl I dropped was in the drivers seat. I was totally going to make her my next gf... but then she pulls this shit...

I send her the breakup text... Now I would feel like a douche if I were to call her and try to put humpty dumpty back together again...

"I was venting about my fustrations about you to a female friend and she decided she would send you a text. I didn't know about it until you responded... and I was at a loss for words of how to respond. yadadada"

I'd never lie. But if I was going to, I would use something like that. If your not against lying, then maybe that gives you an idea.

You could also man up and tell her you acted too harsh, etc. One of my sticking points is acting to harshly and too quickly getting rid of the girl. When I joined PUA, I decided that was something I needed to work on. It is a lot better not being aggravated all the time and waiting things out, they tend to be not that bad.