Life Love Sex and Obligations.

Hey all! It's been a while

I'm not so good at being wordy, so I'll just cut to the chase:

I've been off the game for about 3 solid months now...and in the few months even prior to then, I was just on the verge of being on and off.

Now though...I'm trying to get back into the game, because being off of it for a while really made me realize how much it has done for me and what a positive aspect of my life it had been. Except, there's one major issue: I'm one unmotivated mother f***er.

I've always had motivation issues, may it be with my studies or with other aspects of my life. A big reason why I was cutting down on my game and eventually got to a standstill was because while I got into the game, my studies fell behind and I couldn't prioritize my obligations. At the end of last semester, I decided to crack back down and focus on my studies again.

But enough about me, how do the rest of you gurus balance between life, love, obligations and sex? How do you guys deal with the lack of motivation that hits us every now and then? (Or in my case, every now and every day!)


I hope this hasn't been a bit of a redundant, self-evident thread; I'd appreciate any feedbacks


-vH



P.S. Have we always had those Obama/Biden McCain/Palin emoticons?

First off, you need to stop viewing PU as a seperate part of your life. Integrate what you learn from it into everything you do. I use what ive learned when i socialize, when i work, to stay mentally stable, to motivate myself, etc.

Every aspect of my life has at least a part of it that i can apply something ive learned to it.

As for motivating, you have to find out what motivates you most, and utilize that when you need it. One thing that motivates me well is competition, another is my thirst to learn. Sometimes these things change or stop working as well, so you adjust and explore other stimulus.

Yes, many aspects of what we learn here apply to life in general.

And yes, as far as self-motivation, it's just that, self-motivation.

Now, if we are face to face, sure, I can motivate you to an extent. I can be that driving force that pushes you to get things done. In person I have that presence. However, I don't live with you 24/7, so you still have to find your own motivation as well.

For me, I have things that I look forward to each day. I have writing projects I'm pushing out, I have guys that come to me personally needing advice, aside from this forum, I have this forum, I have dreams and goals I'm working hard to accomplish. Along the way, I have normal daily necessities such as bills to keep up with, lol. All of these things keep me going. But, at the core, it's me that keeps me going. Because ultimately, I want BADLY to accomplish all of my dreams and goals. I'm that passionate about those dreams and goals.

As far as how to balance . . . haha. I don't think, HONESTLY, any of us has that "balance" down. For instance, I have kids I tend to every single day, along with everything else. So, if you were to see my daily life, how I have to literally stop one project for a few minutes, tend to a kid, then come back to that same project, you'd likely go insane, lol.

For instance, I had to break on this very post

Sex isn't a problem. I get it when I need it/when I want it. I give it when it's needed/wanted. Love is probably a harder one. There's emotion tied into that one. Yes, love can be difficult to balance. Life is also difficult to balance, but that will ALWAYS be the case, no matter where you are in life or what's going on. Life tends to throw curve balls your way. You just have to deal with that. And all of that is tied into obligations.

My solution . . . I put out "fires" (problems) when they arise, I slot time for sex and time for making love (there IS a difference), and I carve out time here and there, where ever possible to continue building on my different projects. All of this contributes to my ultimate goals and dreams.

Don't ask me for a breakdown, minute by minute plan. I'm not that type of person.

Ka said it best, you need to stop separating the two. What you learn from social dynamics, we should apply to every aspect of your lives. Meeting women isn't something I do also, it's what I do as part of my life.
This has taught me how to be confident, speak up in crowds, tell jokes, stories, be a part of the action and run the crowd.

Then THAT has helped me meet women, remember the social dynamics is about so much more than getting laid, it's about feeling better about yourself as a person.

I use and practice what I have learned at school, at work, with friends, out partying, downtown at a bar, at a houseparty, bloody well everywhere. It's a part of who I am, and if I don't practice it, I stop being who I want to be

Thanks for the informative feedback guys, I knew it was a good idea to start on the forum

Just tossing another one out there: how did you guys find out what motivates you? Or did it just come natural?



-vH

For me, I was forced to . . . "re-evaluate" myself after a huge, traumatic loss in my personal life. The first living child I lost. I had to dig inside myself, find myself again, just to maintain some sanity. It takes tragedy for some to reach that point. Others reach that point by choice. Which way will you go?

Great question, all I can say is that I wrote about it a long time ago, it's a three part story of how I came to change.

http://thoughtsofcro.blogspot.com/2008/09/how-i-became-better-person-part-iii.html

Honestly i have huge motivational problems, so for me the answer is never a sure thing. It changes each time i have to motivate myself. Sometimes i focus on how disappointed in myself ill be if i dont do something, other times i turn it into competition with someone else, sometimes i make it about depriving myself of something if i dont do it, other times rewarding myself if i do do it.

As Tripp said, sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom for major change to take place. Usually though its just a matter of finding what motivates you, what makes you do certain things, and apply that to the things you usually dont do.