I realize that this may be unpopular. And I also realize that this introduction communicates to you something about myself. I also realize how you interpret my introduction says something about you! Reactions.
. Pity parties. Wows! What the fucks. Laughter. Cackles. Shrieks. Guffaws. Whatever.
One thing I noticed about the pick up community is that there is not much quality information on emotional maintenance. In particular, what to do for yourself after rejection. How to take care of yourself after a break up. And how to manage life when you're outcasted by a group you want to fit into. Philosophies like "not even being in that head-space" do help, but they are not enough. You have a world with standard agreements, "rules", and expectations to deal with. A REAL WORLD.
For rejection, I understand clearly that you would be wise to avoid oneitis. This is damn good advice. No girl should be given so much power that you allow her to decide how happy you are. I have always maintained that everyone has varying degrees of emotional sensitivity. This does not indicate, by definition, wussiness. It can, in some cases, for those who succumb to wretched and negative beliefs the world so generously foists upon individuals. So, again, how you interpret, maintain and process the world around you has a lot to do with your belief system. Emotional sensitivity, on the other hand, is a different thing. Many people who are emotionally sensitive I think have bonded and glued B.S. beliefs to themselves with their abundance of emotion. For these types of people, a vigilance for what kinds of thoughts and beliefs that pass through their minds is required. So many people would be more than happy for you to just stumble into their frame and be their whipping boy.
I wanted to highlight the crucial importance of frames and just how subtle and insidious they are. Many, many frames are not malevolent however. In fact, many of them are very educational. Some of them don't require a piece of you to learn and take knowledge from them. This whole world is a frame, and, depending on how strong your internal frame is and how proactive you are, determines how free you are from everyone elses frame.
Someone had a vision to build a chain warehouse store across the country, and when you step into one of those stores, you're stepping into their frame. You buy a product there and you're buying a little piece of their frame. No big deal. Pretty beneficial, actually.
When you drive into a city, you're driving into a collective frame agreed upon, mostly unconsciously, by the people who live in that city. Everyone in that city has their daily habits, routines and activities. What are those black spheres fastened to the corners of high-risers downtown? When you read a book or watch a movie you're stepping into someone elses frame. It's ironic that you are said to go into an "ALPHA" state while watching t.v., and the "BETA" state is accompanied by your daily activities. LMAO. And, because I'm laughing, could it be because I'm acquiescing to this frame? Cool. At least I'm conceiving of it, though it may be formed from bits and pieces of other frames.
When a girl rejects you or snubs you in some obnoxious, fickle or inconvenient way are you going to buy into her frame of a poor opinion of you? or anyone, for that matter, who tries to define you in anyway, is setting a frame for you to step into. In some cases, they are baiting you to overreact and make you lose your value and personal power. It still is a predatorial world believe it or not, and most people don't hunt for food anymore, they hunt for emotions. "Find out what a man values, and you know where to stick the knife."
I work around a lot of people a lot of my time, and I can pick up a negative vibe from some of them. Some of them would love nothing more than to tear me down in some way and watch me suffer. They would love for me to accept all kinds of negative beliefs about myself, mainly because they've accepted those self-same negative beliefs about themselves.
I'm starting to see how some guys who are more "successful" actually get treated more poorly by some people because of the jealousy and vengeance those people harbor. Everyone needs love and acceptance in some way or another, and herein lies where the "knife" can be stuck. Along with a lot of other useless bombast. I could react to them and lower my own value to theirs, but birds of a feather flock together, and I'm just simply not of their feather.
The world requires you to interact with it and for you to specifically avoid certain activities, places or people makes you lose personal power. Basically, facing fear makes you gain power. Of course recklessly being a fool and trying to be a death defier in one way or another without any training could specifically make you lose all your power.
When I was younger I accumulated all sorts of distorted and irrational fears. Luckily, for my incisive, and resourceful mind, I conceived of strategically targeting certain fears and specifically encountering or exposing myself to them, so, ultimately, the fear would lose it's controlling power over me. The pick up community offered an extension of this for me. A big thanks to Neil Strauss and his book The Game.
Sensitive people are more prone to being beta and stepping into others' frame who seem to be more powerful. Sensitive people are highly suggestible and are therefore good hypnotic subjects. This requires an extra strength and vigilance that needs to be developed WITHIN themselves. Of course frames from the outside world that don't require too much of a debit, and that are very educational, can help.
So, I'm developing a system in which survival and successful recovery from adverse situations is more than likely. Realizing oneitis, and countering it with sarging other girls. Oneitis is, of course, not to be confused with a sexual and meaningful relationship you actually have with a woman. Not accepting other peoples' frame of you when they react negatively to you for whatever reason. Processing, and letting go of disproportionate needs for acceptance or control. Separating negative thoughts and beliefs that generalize people and circumstances which try to bond with your negative feelings and thereby increase their power by doing so. Exercising this vigilance more or less consistently. Accepting oneself unconditionally in the spirit of Albert Ellis, especially in the face of adverse or unfortunate circumstances. Understanding what "musturbating" is. Vigorously debating your negative generalizations like "everyone hates me", or "everyone MUST like me, or else I'm totally worthless." Not beating yourself up when something doesn't work out. Exercising physically regularly. Diet. Sleep. Vitamins and supplements. Understanding mood chemicals in the brain like seratonin and dopamine. Understanding how these chemicals are created, transmitted, and how they affect the brain.
I really think this idea of frame control ought to be explored more fully and dynamically. For example, if you don't accept someone elses frame of you aren't you just creating resistance and thereby reinforcing their frame more? Wouldn't you have to accept their frame somewhat to create a flow and ultimately overcome their frame through a path of least resistance? How do you accept yourself and the other without getting sucked into their frame?
I read about a prince or leader in The Art Of Seduction who became so emboldened by the praise of the people that the people developed a resentment of him and subsequently did away with him somehow. You don't want to become so haughty and rigid in your frame that you're seemingly unaffected by the world around you. Afterall, seduction and learning are a significant portion of the beauty and enjoyment of this world Any Way.
eVan
Subject: Frame Control (LMAO Inhibitor) 
Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:47 am
We are all human, and we can't ALWAYS be the fun, happy guy who just constantly adds value where ever he goes. Like some modern day messiah glowing with divine light. Perhaps this is possible, but I think it puts a lot of pressure on guys to perform well. 
