lost my cool last night

Last night my ex gf and I were sitting in this casino bar “talking” to see if anything can be reconciled. We were having an emotional conversation. She was upset, I was irritated and at times would raise my voice and might have snapped at her once or twice. I felt there were inconsistencies in her stories, and all I wanted was to hear the truth. I’ve caught her in a lie before, and it wasn’t like she ‘fessed up and said “hey, I have to tell you something…” It wasn’t like that at all. She only admitted it after I backed her into a corner with smoking gun evidence. This pisses me off and makes me wonder if I can ever believe her, or if I have to back her into a corner before she’ll tell me the truth.



Anyway….

Our seats were 1-row behind the bar. We’re having our (heated) discussion (there was a band.. I was surprised anyone could hear us) when some eavesdropping drunk guy sitting in front of us turns around and starts to say something. He looked at me and said something like “hey man she’s a beautiful girl and she’s pouring her heart out to you…” before I cut him off.

I said: “this doesn’t concern you. Turn around and mind your own f’cking business.” (remember, I’m already irritated with the answers I’m getting from my ex, so I could have been more polite. I didn’t exactly yell at the guy, just elevated my voice a bit. I was visually pissed.

He said “no, I won’t”

He starts to talk about her again (“she’s a beautiful girl….”) and I say:

“I don’t give a sht what you think or what you have to say. This is a private conversation turn the f’ck around and stay out of it”

This guy and I go back and forth a few more times when I get up out of my chair, walk to his stool and stand over him. I told him something like “You need to turn around and shut the f'ck up. This has nothing to do with you and I don't give a f'ck what you have to say”

By this time, everyone at the bar was aware of what was going on.

He says “oh! Oh! You want me to stand up too?” He stands up. He’s about my height, fat, and on the trashy side.. We get nose to nose. He puts his hands on me, as if to pull me in to say something. At this point, I was just about to punch him in the mouth but my ex jumped in between us and tried to diffuse the situation. I'll get nose to nose, but I will NOT let another man put his hands on me. It was obvious he had no interest whatsoever in fighting me. He tried to pull me in to introduce himself, apologized, and tried to shake hands. I told him to get f’cked then I grab my drink, the girl and we headed to another bar in the casino..

Wow.. Never lost my cool like that before. What would you guys have done?

I know losing your cool is a no-no in PUA... but frankly, I think she digged it..

This was fun to read, had my adrenelin going. I would have done the same thing but I'd like to think I'd have been calmer about it. We all lose our cool sometimes though and it shows we're human.

And yes some women do dig aggersion in the right situation.

First off, Just reading the first paragraph, i can tell you this...If you have to ask yourself just how hard you need to press her for the truth, you know its not going to work. You already know that tho so im not giving you a news flash.

In regards to the guy, you handled yourself better then me. It takes alot to make me mad but once im there i feel sorry for the people around me and even worse for the people in my way. I honestly woulda ended up rearranging the guys face. You handled it exactly the way it should have been handled, by being consistantly direct towards him and not apologizing even after he apologized. You did nothing wrong but point out the obvious to him...it wasnt any of his business (you where not physically abusive...thats when its ok to step in) and that after he made the mistake of being involved he shoulda butted out (i like fuck off better but im trying to be delicate).

As for her liking it, why wouldnt she... right away you got her seeing you emote and stand up for yourself, and in a way her as the convo was in reference to shared interest and the guy was invading that territory which belongs not only to you, but to her.

All in all i think you showed enormous constraint in not hitting the guy (also didnt have to spend the night in the slammer). As for the girl my 2 cents is stop wasting your time with her. Your looking back with her when you could be looking ahead with someone else. Trust is by far the biggest asset a person can bring to the table in any kind of relationship, and she obviously is unwilling to be truthful to a great degree. You know you wont stand for that so why waste your time and go through that stress.