Internet Dating-How To Attract Women By Creating Subtle Mystery

Internet Dating - How To Attract Women By Creating Subtle Mystery

(guest article by Grant Adams, author of Net2Bed, an awesome guide to online dating and more. It’s my next review)

Here’s a giant tip if you are dating online:

Don’t tell her where you live. Don’t tell her exactly what you do. Don’t answer any of her questions comprehensively or directly.

At least not at first. And she will be drawn into the mystery of you.

Instead, suggest how you FEEL about where you live. Find a sensual way of saying it – something about the trees outside the window, the smell of the jasmine outside, your cool neighbors, how you can go running out your door into hills, near a park. Create a vision into which she can project herself.

Don’t give the name of your neighborhood. That’s boring - it allows her to pigeon-hole you, to stereotype you by the reputation of the neighborhood or town

Labels close doors. Mystery, however, makes her want to open them.

Let’s take, for example, your occupation.

Women want to know what you do for a living, and most guys will just blather out their job title right away. Why?

Don’t be her plaything; instead you should play with her need. One effective way of doing this is to communicate not what you do, but how you do it.

(see my “Power Answers” post for a great example of what Grant’s talking about)

And, most importantly, how you serve others and give the gift of who you are. Because nothing is sexier to a real woman than a man who lives in service to others.

If you can, describe what you do by how you serve. You will trigger a level of admiration from women reading your profile that is primal and powerful. You don’t have to be a Senator or a Nascar Driver or a Fire Captain to communicate how you help others.

Are you a carpenter? Then, say… “I help people love their homes.”

An Accountant? Then say, “I help people keep their lives together so they can enjoy it stress-free.”

In Advertising or Marketing? “I fire up people’s imaginations.”

Not only will this approach trigger her sense of you as a leader and giver in your community, but everything you give, she will feel as if you’ll be giving that to her.

She is going to insert herself into the movie of your life anyway, so direct the coming-attractions trailer as appealingly as possible.

You will answer her directly about your job and it’s title, but only once you’re sitting across the table from her in person.

Never before.

Captain your own ship. Know your own purpose. If you project in your profile that you are measured, controlled, limited, unmysterious, parcelled out, tiny, small or bounded in any way, you lose your power and your mysterious wholeness.

If you hand over all your information, you will turn women off, because the truth is that even you don’t know your mysterious wholeness! If she is any kind of woman she will end up teaching you things about yourself you don’t know. So why try to bore her with a pale imitation of something you don’t even have a full grip on?

Here’s another idea, though it may seem small and subtle. Don’t give her your name early on. Don’t name your profile with your name. How do you know that a “Howard” didn’t harass her at age 12, or a “Bill” didn’t bully her in 3rd grade. I always sign my first email responses with just first initial of my name until they ask if there’s any more to my name.

Giving her just my initial keeps her moving towards me. Most women take it as a tease, as a come-on. Only after you have them moving toward you should you tell them.

Maintaining mystery — even of the subtlest kind — changes the dynamic of the chase. Now, she is now chasing you!

Grant Adams is the world’s leading Internet Dating Guru, and the creator of the Net2Bed-Net2Wed System Manual. Grant offers free Internet Dating Tips at his website