Being high value

Perception. That's what it's all about. Our value is how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. And, believe it or not, the two actually work together.

Value applies to both males and females.

There is a fine line here. Crossing this line or staying on the "right" side of this line is the difference between being congruent or not. Being fake or being real.

I've said it before and will say it many times more. I can take any guy and make him "appear" to be a high value, desirable male to hot girls. Of course, this is their initial perception of him. If it's not a real perception, but one for the moment, they will see through it before long and that value, and attraction, will go away.

It works the same with girls. A girl can "appear" to be more desirable, more sexy, than she normally is, and therefore have more guys hitting on her. However, if this isn't the true nature of the girl, the guy will eventually see through the front.

Here's what I think confuses a lot of people. We need to create an impression of high value if you want the opposite sex to be attracted to you. However, some look at this as being fake or manipulation. It's only fake or manipulation if you're putting up a false front. You can present yourself as high value without putting up a front of being someone you aren't.

Here's something else I talk about literally all the time. It's your inner confidence or what we call inner game. With both guys and girls, you need to be confident in who you are.

So, how do you present an image of being high value regardless of what you do for a living? After all, we do live in a superficial society that looks at your external status to show what value you really are. You bring out the proper elements of who YOU are.

I'll use myself as an example. For anyone that really knows me, one of the first things they say is that I'm the bad boy, the rebel. I go against the grain of society. I don't take people's shit. I'm normally looked at as a person that you don't want to mess with. However, I'm a complex person. This is what you see on the surface. It's partially what's underneath the surface, but not all of it. I also know a bit about computers and too many girls I've been involved with come to me for computer help. Then they brag to their friends about it, which has led to other work. They start to see some intelligence, rather than just the bad boy exterior. Then there's a part of me that's a parent. So I take care of all my boys, show them love and attention when I can, help them with things, talk to them, etc. Then there's the writer in me. Normally when a girl finds out that I have book projects in the works and am spending some heavy time on one of them, they start getting really curious about this book and want to read it. It shows another side of me that's not visible on the surface. Once they read the book, if I let them, they see something that actually does fit the bad boy exterior but still shows a more complex interior. Then, when they find out that I teach other guys and girls how to be sexy and how to handle the opposite sex they are extremely intrigued. You see, ALL of this builds value. The initial attraction is built quickly and therefore some value. Once they start digging underneath the surface they start uncovering a lot more value.

Of course there are other aspects of me as well that I've dropped here and there that I won't get into right now. These are all little details that add to my value they already see initially. None of it is incongruent, but it's an interesting puzzle the way it all fits together.

This is what each of us needs to do. Find the part of us that we want to present to the world, to the opposite sex to be more precise. That's one part of us. That's the first impression. It needs to be a true part of you though, not something made up for a false front. My bad boy exterior is a true part of my internally because I do go against the grain of society. I do rebel. I do rattle feathers and shake things up with people in higher societal authority than me. Some don't like this part of me, some love it. I'm polarizing. Oh well, that's me. Some look at me as a mover and shaker, others look at me as a trouble maker. It's the real me. What part of you do you want, or need, to show to the opposite sex? Here's a hint . . . find the most attractive part of you, that's what you show on the surface. For me it's natural to have the bad boy image to show on the exterior. Even when I try to look like a prep or like a middle class guy it doesn't fit me because of my attitude. I do live like I'm middle class, but I don't look like it.

Show your high value that you already have. Show the part of you on the surface that is attractive and shows your true value, the true part of who you are. Don't be fake about it.

Let the opposite sex dig a bit to find the other parts of you. Leave a bit of mystery so the other person has something to learn about you.

First you have to understand what YOUR perception of YOURSELF is. How YOU see YOURSELF goes a LONG way toward how others see you. If you see yourself as being weak, being insecure (even a little bit), being in "low demand", lacking confidence, not being sexual or knowing much about performing sexually, not having friends, not being good at making friends, etc., how do you think others will perceive you?

On the other hand, if you see yourself as being confident, as KNOWING your good at things and what those things are, as being secure in who you are, as being a strong person, as being in "high demand", as having friends and being able to make friends, etc., again guess how others will see you.

Now, sure, we all have weaknesses and have weak times. That doesn't mean you aren't a valuable person. It just means you're human.

You see, if you act macho for a guy or snooty for a girl, you are NOT seen as Mr. Alpha or Mrs. I'mTheShit, instead you're seen as overcompensating and therefore very insecure. It's not hard for someone with even a little bit of social ability to see through that veneer.

There's a balance. You're human, so let the humanness show through. You can be confident yet still be insecure at times. No one, NO ONE is completely confident 100% of the time. That doesn't take away from your overall value. Now, when you're insecure most of the time, that DOES take away from your overall value.

This is why inner game is so important. You have to know who you are first and foremost. You have to know your own value. Only then can you present your value, your true value, to the world and to the opposite sex.

Once you know who you are, you can present that real part of yourself and accurately represent the real value of you, stay congruent with yourself because you are being true to yourself, attract the opposite sex, and be "real" with the world as well.

good post tripp

Newsletter, please send this one out, LA. Also, perception is definitely the key to it all. I percieve myself as having it together, socially. In my latest approach that self philosophy shined brightly through. I comprehend exactly what you are talking about LA. peace,lvoe and succe SS

I read this post and think to myself: i want to be the bad-boy type, & at the same time, the mesmeric, love-at-first-sight charmer that you see in all those chick flicks and Disney movies. At the moment, I see myself as that non-bad-boy half..the part that I'm probably just NOT.

Now I wouldn't know, but perhaps you've already had quite a few similar questions. If I'm not that bad-boy figure to begin with, would incorporating some of those characteristics be considered "living a lie" because it's not really me to begin with?

In short Diamond, yes, it would be fake if it's not you to begin with.

Here's the thing though . . . the bad boy type of guy is unique (the true bad boy). Not all guys can pull that off because not all guys really have that in their personality. However, not all girls are attracted to that type of guy either. The bad boy can attract girls and can amp things up quickly . . . BUT . . . you can still be DIRECT and have THAT in your personality without being a bad boy.

Being direct with girls is great in itself. Girls love that because most guys aren't direct. You can "not take their shit" and still not be a bad boy. The bad boy pushes things way beyond what guys normally would. This scares some girls, and for good reason. You're basically skirting the edge of sanity, and the law, lol.

No, you be true to yourself. And, if you're not normally a direct type of person, you CAN work on incorporating THAT into your personality because that in itself will help you in all areas of your life.

You see, you can be direct, call girls out on their shit and keep them in line. The bad boy, he not only calls the girls out, but verbally pushes them to the point of some times getting them angry. Now, you HAVE to know how to handle that in a girl and be able to bring her back from that, which the bad boy can usually do. But, this isn't something that is easy to pull off. I've seen it time and time again where I can say things to girls that other guys could just not in anyway get away with. And, that's something I have to watch when I tell a guy to do or say something. I've had times where I've told girls that I'm with what I will tell another guy that I'm helping. The girl will literally look at me and say "YOU could pull that off . . . HE couldn't."

However, being a direct person you can still grab the girls' attention, which is what it's all about, and amp up her attraction fast, without pushing her over the edge so easily.

This is where MOST guys need to be anyway.

I used to Imagine myself running away from home living some pretty crazy, adventure-filled life. I think I see what you mean, and how it differs from a true bad-boy character. I may be considered somewhat reckless around women, but it's best to just polish my skills and allow for those minor changes. Bad-boy is in the genes..kinda thing.?.?hm?m

I'm reasonably jealous. lol


Have you ever known someone of average become that legit "bad-boy," or is it all hopes and dreams?

Nah, not in the genes . . . but not something to aspire to either, lol.

Mainly I talked about it in this article because it's an example of me.

Here's what YOU need to do, man. Take certain aspects and incorporate them into your personality. For instance, the reason the bad boys get the girls we do get is because the emotions of the girls are put on a roller coaster. Most guys are so dull and boring that the emotional roller coaster is addictive. So, you . . . engage her emotions. But in a good way, instead of things like tearing down her self-esteem and things like that.

Believe me, I've had to tone down some of my bad boy characteristics. Bad boys are good for having strings of SNL's and ONS's and a few FB's hanging around . . . but it ain't shit for maintaining something long, long term. In other words, you find that girl worth keeping around and the bad boy will really struggle to keep the relationship intact . . . and HE will struggle to be faithful himself.

But, the guy that can engage the girl emotionally and stay true to himself (this is called showing passion for his own life) is way ahead.

I like this post also Tripp, helps me a good deal also