You're an idea

Idea. It is not sufficient to be a man. You must become an "idea". Women are attracted to ideas, not men. Once you determine what YOU stand for, your "idea", make EVERY SINGLE element of your game congruent to that. Everything you do, say, how you dress, your mannerisms, your techniques should serve to reinforce that "idea". Any deviation from your "idea" is a leak in your game that needs to be fixed. This accounts for why some techniques work for some people and not others.


. . . this isn't from me but I want your opinions on what you think about it.

I think there is a lot of truth to this. Let me see if I can relate without taking up an entire page...!

So tonight I was at a party. I come in and immediately a stranger catches my eye. I ask the hostess who she is, and it's a friend of hers from Miami. I introduce myself to her and we talk for a few minutes about our home towns, then cycling and running. A few minutes later I am talking to a girl I do know, and somehow I mention that I have the best facebook picture ever. It's actually the same as my avatar here (come on, who can glare at their own back from a mirror?). We get to talking about photography and I mention that it's something I dabble in. She wants to see some of my work so she goes in another room and finds a laptop. I begin showing her some of my photos and the first girl to catch my eye returns to me wanting to watch too. She wants to know if I've done any printing and I mention my portfolio. She brings up some high school class she took on photography. And they like this one and that one, and I tell them how this one was featured here and that one featured there, and original hottie wants to know if I've been published anywhere else. Well, I reply, I am working with a publisher to get out a book in the next year (thank you, brother). And now I can't say anything wrong to this girl. She is moving closer to me and giving me IOIs like crazy. Then she spent nearly thirty minutes trying to find the name of this gallery I just had to visit the next time I am in Miami. Ha, I've never been but I tell her I'll look it up and maybe look her up. I didn't try to do any kind of close because 1) she had a boyfriend, and 2) she lived in Miami, but she did run up to kiss me on the cheek on my way out.

Okay, this isn't a brag or field report, but what I think happened was this. I was dressed very interestingly (and extremely differently than anybody else there): swirly, shiny 7 diamonds shirt; tight Monarchy jeans; black, extremely shiny, almost croc skin shoes. Hair was perfect, smile was perfect, and I was almost set up from the start talking about cycling and marathons, to the perfect opportunity to bring up photography, portfolio, and the future book. The idea? A focused, confident guy with all kinds of things going for him. Solid gold.

Does your post imply more than this "idea" is necessary?

Excellent on that tonight man!

Now, on this post . . . I'll grant that there could be some truth to it, but this part here:

Quote :

Idea. It is not sufficient to be a man. You must become an "idea". Women are attracted to ideas, not men.

That alone, to me, is irresponsible thinking. To me, being an "idea" doesn't have depth. Being a man has depth. For instance, tonight you had success with being yourself and with sharing your DHV's about yourself. You weren't being an "idea" and the DHV's didn't make you an "idea". Instead, you were being a genuine man, and the DHV's are who you are, so that supported you as a man and was congruent with you.

Yes, women can be attracted to an idea, if you consider a fantasy an idea, or the "idea" of being with "that guy over there", but they are actually attracted to what they see as the man. Then, they become more or less attracted to the man through the interaction. So, it's not the idea that they want, but the man.

If women weren't attracted to the man, we couldn't flip the attraction switches. Our skills wouldn't matter. I know that the girls I'm with are attracted to me, the man that I am. The exception to that would be meeting a girl online and getting her attracted to you before your face to face meeting, but we all know that portion of the interaction will only take you so far. If you want to truly build attraction, you must meet with her face to face. Once again, not the idea, the man.

So, that's my input on it.

I don't know, Tripp. People are constantly chasing after marketable buzz words, but I think that this guy is onto something... just not necessarily the best way to describe that thing.

I think I took that passage a little differently than you, and to be honest, after reading over it a few more times I'm tempted to lean more in your direction. Nonetheless, I like my first interpretation best and I will explain.

How many times do you see people at a party or a bar or where ever talking about themselves? I did this, I did that, etc. It's not impossible or even particularly difficult to find people to listen, but at the same time it's a lot of unidirectional effort.

Contrast this to the guy that can't satisfy a girl's curiosity no matter how much he says. This guy's personality, depth, and appearance are all in harmony. He looks different than other people and acts differently than other people, but not in a way that makes him weird. In fact, there's something so natural about it that it is intriguing and people are drawn to learn about him.

I previously posted about a DJ at a club I went to in Philly stealing "my" girl shortly before I found this community. I think this guy fit the "idea" role perfectly, and people, such as the girl I spent so much effort talking with, were so eager to learn more about him. I think this is because he was different than everybody else; he represented a fresh, intriguing idea. That's what I was trying for last night, and even though I wasn't the life of the party like I sometimes try to be, I had a solid cult following all night.

People just seem to be attracted a person who represents a significant enough departure from the mundane, but that attraction, I believe, is tempered by disjunctive traits, and that's how I took the part about "leak[s] in... game that [need] to be fixed." So... maybe your interpretation was correct and I just ran off on a tangent, but it seems to make sense to me.

Update, though: after talking about working with models and practicing portraiture last night, I did get a facebook message today from a girl who wants to model but didn't want to speak up at the party. We sent ideas for her shoot back and forth all morning. This hobby of mine is going to pay ridiculous dividends.

OK, you're right about the idea as far as it being the fantasy of the girl. She loves the "idea" of being with a guy because of what he represents. Sure, that can be a draw for her. However, if the guy has no substance, no depth, that idea will fall flat and she won't go anywhere with it, being bored very quickly, unless she is just that shallow herself.

Now, if the guy that she was drawn to initially because of what he represents, his idea, has depth, then she will become more interested in him because of that depth.

Karma wrote:

Contrast this to the guy that can't satisfy a girl's curiosity no matter how much he says. This guy's personality, depth, and appearance are all in harmony. He looks different than other people and acts differently than other people, but not in a way that makes him weird. In fact, there's something so natural about it that it is intriguing and people are drawn to learn about him.

That's a guy that has depth. That's what continues to draw people to him.

Your hobby paying ridiculous dividends is a good thing

An 'idea'! Ahaha, not the actual overall fantasy idea, but I think he was hinting at an acronym. For me, this acronym is Important, Determined, Exciting/ Educated, Attracting. That's the idea that women fawn for, and every man can own these character traits.
I understand, what you mean Tripp, that its the guy's action, not neccesarily concept that makes the rules of game progress. In this metaphor, it asks of the reader to form an idea. It sounds good, in fact it's what I have been attempting for a while now.

Karma, good deal on grabbing the girls realities. peace,lvoe and succe SS