That's cool. He probably has a vibe about him that makes you feel
comfortable. The funny thing is, about "lines". The only difference
between what people call "being natural" and "lines" for lack of a
better word, is that the word "natural" really just means either you're
doing what you're doing on a largely subconscious/spontaneous level and
have some idea of what you're doing.........or you're doing it on a
subconscious level and have no clue how you do what you do.
The only difference between that and a "line" is that with a "line",
you're making a conscious effort to do something. Communication is
communication whether you're aware of what you're doing or not....if
that makes sense. I don't get too caught up in jargon but use the
language that someone's familiar with. Basically, in my mind, there's
no difference between having conversation and "opening" someone. All
conversation is based on association. And a conversation's relevance is
based on association.
I guess what I'm saying is that there's always a structure whether or
not we're aware of that structure........Like here's a quick example of
what I mean. If your PHYSICAL setting is at a club, then someone talks
about what you do for a living or what you do for fun or whatever, what
does work or talking about something you do away from the party/club
have to do with your environment? The answer? NOTHING...........It has
to do with YOU, but not what you're doing at the moment. It is relevant
because by association, these other things have something to do with
your past experience. It's an indirect link to YOU, if you get me.
There are certain past and present experiences and imagined future
experiences you've had.......and you can even imagine new ones. So by
talking about something NOT in the environment, it seems relevant IF it
is linked properly. If I just came out and never having met you before
I say "So how are the parents?" you'd know on a conscious and
subconscious level that it's an awkward way for a total stranger to
start a conversation. You don't consciously know the rule....it's as
subconscious as your understanding of grammar....you just "know" it's
weird. Or if I walk up and the first thing I say is "I like
dogs."..it's abrupt and un-natural.
But if I make a comment about the surroundings, or something you're
wearing....or a silly, teasing joke about what's going on, it all seems
relevant......Even if I make a silly joke in general about something
totally unrelated.......sometimes it SEEMS relevant but really isn't.
That's association...........And for some other reason, I've noticed
that sometimes a more "wordy" reply can seem more meaningful than a
very short one. Even if you're saying the same thing in both cases. Not
sure why that is. I think part of it might just be that people enjoy
conversation in general...the act of conversing (talking or
listening).......and those extra words can fill some kind of "gap".
Hmmmmm. I got off on a tangent here.Thinking out loud.