Charisma and the power of it

How do some people learn to integrate these two channels of communication so well, while others have so much trouble? Why are some people able to read others' signals intuitively and exhibit the charisma and body language prowess of a Cesar Millan, while others remain absolutely clueless and invisible?

Many people would say that charisma stems from a strong sense of self, an inherent belief in your own worth, the knowledge that you're one hot tamale. While I think that's partially true, I believe that charisma is developed by integrating that faith in yourself into the way you trust your intuitive sense of others' body language. and respond with confident, steady messages that build rapport. You become so fluid in your movements that you don't even think "Chin up, shoulders, back, hands at sides," you just think, "Wait till they see me coming."

As with all aspects of body language, developing your gestural ability starts with learning how to accurately read other people's signals. Confidence and natural gestures go hand in hand because insecurity and nervousness can lead to jerky movements. One of the best ways to quiet your own anxiety is to learn as much as possible about whatever situation you're about to enter. When you know how to read people's body language, you have a great source of inside information constantly available to you. The body is a much better indicator of true emotions and feelings, simply because most people don't try to mask their body's revealing signals--they don't even realize those signals are happening. This allows you to more easily understand people's true feelings and respond in a way that makes people feel really good, so they want to please you in return--which is another way of saying, you'll have some serious charisma.

The next step on your way to becoming a Master Communicator is to learn to read people's body language signals so closely, and so thoroughly, that you'll open up that wealth of inside information. You'll be able to see what they need, decide how you want to respond, and react with body language that's congruent to your thinking and your goals--you'll begin to develop the building blocks of charisma.

Excerpt from Tonya Reiman's The Power of Body Language