Conversation w/ a natural

So a friend & I went to the gym today to shoot some hoops.
After running a few games, we stopped and the conversation of ladies came up.
I asked how his misses was doing (a hb8). He said fine, etc. I always make a joke about all the reasons why I don't have/want a girlfriend. (ie - he went to rent the Notebook for their 6 month anniversary - just stuff like that).

He stopped and asked, "D, why don't you have a girlfriend? With your personality and the eyes/dimples, no homo, you could pull any broad you wanted too." - I was stunned. Speechless. Yes, a loss of words. I wasn't this stunned since David Tyree made that catch last February. (For you non sports nerds= NE lost the Super Bowl.)

I responded, "Well, to be honest. I have never pulled any chick..." - now his turn to be speechless.
He replied, "To be honest, my gf said if she wasn't with me... she would totally dig you."

I felt sick. It was a compliment yet an insult at the same time. The AA/Lack of Confidence with HBs put me into a state where a HB that I would think was "out of my league" wasn't, put this awful feeling in my gut.

I asked, " So - how do you do it. Your no Brad Pitt..."
"He said its easy...a lot easier than you think it is. Its 95% mental. It's in your mind-set. I met *insert HB8 name here* - at a party...I was with another girl. She was with another dude. We both wanted to upgrade. So, I went into her circle of friends and introduced my self and complimented on the most least attractive girl in the circle, so I wouldn't be nervous. After a few minutes of "wow, pretty dress - etc...." I moved out and talked to her next friend. When I finally got to *insert HB8 name here*, I made eye-contact. Smiled. Introduced. Squeezed her hand a little. Then bounced.... later that night I purposuly ran into her again with no-friends...and we talked. I pulled her number that evening...the rest was history..."

I was stunned...it's like he was all into PUA...so maybe I thought he had read some stuff, etc... I asked him how he learned...
"Trial and Error my friend...and boy was it ugly..."

A little bit of me hates that this stuff works - and is so easy, and gets results over, and over, and over again with ALL guys. No matter the attractiveness level. I honestly don't have any excuses why my contact list isn't full with HBs....

LaRockStar,

No need for excuses. Dude like your friend said no homo stuff but you're a good looking guy. You can get girls if you want them. All you need is some self confidence and the world is about to be yours for the taking. I'm glad he can see it in you as well as some of us on the forum can too. You can do it man, we know that you can. With what you learn here and some confidence through success you'll be powerful with women.

It's time you start believing in yourself a little more. You have friends and stuff that certainly believe that you can be successful with women. I'm sure you will be.

Yes, you're right, you have no excuses. And yes, you're right again, it does work over, and over, and over again for any guy that puts it to work for him.

You can do it man. It does take practice, I'll give you that, but you CAN do it.

Then one day you'll be in a club, with one girl, spot another girl that you used to see who's with her husband and a girl friend of hers, she'll start grabbing your ass, then lift your shirt to feel your abs, tell her girl friend to feel your abs, all in front of the girl your with, and another girl you know will be sitting down watching all 4 of you, all the while two other girls are sitting nearby watching these girls fondle you . . .

And you've got those babes in your contact list on your phone . . . lol, that's a few minutes out of my night last night, and you'll be there too . . . once you practice.

You would do much better if you stopped thinking about it soo much. It seems to be the only thing stopping you.

~Meg~ wrote:

You would do much better if you stopped thinking about it soo much. It seems to be the only thing stopping you.

It's not so much the "over thinking" - but the negative re-enforcement since middle school...
It took Columbus how long to tell the entire world the Earth wasn't flat?
If you tell somebody something over and over again, slowly they start to believe it - especially if its negative.

I think in another thread you said you "avoid places that are loaded with women"....

Maybe your contact list would be full of "HB's" If you finally destroyed this mentality that you have to stay out of those places.

Enjoy the pressure. It's fun.

You have to be mentally tough man.

Cheers

LaRockStar wrote:

It's not so much the "over thinking" - but the negative re-enforcement since middle school...
It took Columbus how long to tell the entire world the Earth wasn't flat?
If you tell somebody something over and over again, slowly they start to believe it - especially if its negative.

Well, I can understand that! However, you have to get out in the field and talk to women to have positive experiences. Like Meg said they key here is to find a way that you don't think about what's going to happen so much. This can be accomplished several ways, but basically involves working on your inner game. Working, on shutting that little voice down inside your head that talks you out of things. Making that voice sound small squeeky, kind of like a puny Mickey Mouse voice.

I'll tell you again and again if neeed every day. If I have to text you 10 times a day. You're a good looking guy, you have interesting things to say, and women would be so lucky to have a few minutes of YOUR TIME, as I know you'll bring them joy.

Perhaps just go out with the thought of making three new women smile a week. Don't worry about pickup lines or routines or anything like that at first. Just go and make a good conversation with them, and make them smile.

JSmooth wrote:

Don't worry about pickup lines or routines or anything like that at first. Just go and make a good conversation with them, and make them smile.

I told this to a guy I coach last night and he ended up K closing with, what he said, was a possibility to full close but didn't want to rush. You'd be surprised what will happen when you just talk to girls. He is learning that and you hopefully will too.