ONE-ITIS ONE-ITIS ONE-ITIS

LOL, now that I've got your attention.

Guys, you can't get fixated on one person, now matter how good you "think" she is. I've seen it time and time again. If you actually DO get your one-itis, she rarely lives up to the fantasy in your mind.

Then you're let down, realizing it wasn't what you thought it was. I mean, really, you spend most of your waking moments building this concept in your mind of who she is and how she acts and what she likes and just how marvelously you two vibe with each other. Then, when you FINALLY get that chance to find out . . . all you feel is . . . is THIS it?

Where's the connection? Where's the romance? Where's her fabulously sweet, kind soul? Where's ALL the stuff I just KNEW we had in common? Suddenly, your heart and soul just drops.

So, depending on your particular one-itis situation, either PULL THE TRIGGER or MOVE ON.

Okay L.A. , reponding to one-itis, I have one.

I posted it on another forum before where you gave me advice and told me to give up on her because I was supplocating her emotional energy that her boyfriend at that moment didn't give. ( Short story : Girl has long relation boyfriend, boyfriend away in other country, me & girl start something, girl has to return back home for 1 week and decide with her boyfriend. ). Everybody told me to let it go.
I was stubborn and chose to wait for her. I waited. She went back broke up, but still loves him. She says that, she wants to have a nice time together with me, because we do, and that she might possibly ( but not probably ) get back in the future together with her boyfriend.. or maybe we'll stay together. She doesn't know. She just wanna go with the flow.

Me as a man, should say : "hell yeah, let's have a nice time and let's have fun and just go with the flow". Problem is , I'm so astonished by her, she's so beautiful, lovely, smart, sweet, funny and we're so good together, that I just want her & only her and I can't just enjoy the fun and when I go out with other girls I feel that she IS better then them. I sarged other girls when I was on holiday also, but when we both returned ( she from her boyfriend, me from my holiday ), I'm restuck in this "you are so perfect and you are the one I love"-thing.

Talking about a one-itis...

Tripp i agree with you 100% oneitis is definately not a good thing. When you are so hooked on a single girl you tend to act and show her that you are stuck on her and you will forgive her no matter what. When a girl sees that she has you wrapped around her fingers she will use u and cheat on you and shell know your not gonna leave her. Girls just like us guys want to have as many guys (girls in our case) as they possibly can espeically younger girls nowadays seem to compete to who can get more guys. Honestly you gotta show the girl you are in control so she fights to keep you with her. I got friends who cant get their mind off a single girl it really bothers me that they will forgive the girl for cheating on them multiple times and still continue to talk to them and like them. I was once in a long relationship and i was stuck on her for about 2 years after we broke up then i found this PUA science and i figured out on my own she is not worth my time and i rather spend my teenage years single and get as many girls as possible...... One itis = BAD

I refuse to give any one girl my upmost attention unless I'm in a relationship with her and she's committed. Other than that, there's no reason to be stuck on one woman. Just remember; She's replaceable, your sanity isn't.

Vedere wrote:

Okay L.A. , reponding to one-itis, I have one.

I posted it on another forum before where you gave me advice and told me to give up on her because I was supplocating her emotional energy that her boyfriend at that moment didn't give. ( Short story : Girl has long relation boyfriend, boyfriend away in other country, me & girl start something, girl has to return back home for 1 week and decide with her boyfriend. ). Everybody told me to let it go.
I was stubborn and chose to wait for her. I waited. She went back broke up, but still loves him. She says that, she wants to have a nice time together with me, because we do, and that she might possibly ( but not probably ) get back in the future together with her boyfriend.. or maybe we'll stay together. She doesn't know. She just wanna go with the flow.

Me as a man, should say : "hell yeah, let's have a nice time and let's have fun and just go with the flow". Problem is , I'm so astonished by her, she's so beautiful, lovely, smart, sweet, funny and we're so good together, that I just want her & only her and I can't just enjoy the fun and when I go out with other girls I feel that she IS better then them. I sarged other girls when I was on holiday also, but when we both returned ( she from her boyfriend, me from my holiday ), I'm restuck in this "you are so perfect and you are the one I love"-thing.

Talking about a one-itis...

That is definitely not OK! Disregarding the one-itis issue, she's saying that she still loves him, thinks about getting back together with him, and even visits him on holiday while you're with her? That is not alright whatsoever. I would tell her that It's him or me, make your decision now. That's just not okay. You are not her emotional supplement. You are being pussywhipped. If she says you, great. If she says him, you're on your way out of one-itis.

But that's just me, and it could be different.

^^ very true not ok at all my friends in the same boat as you man but its a local relationship... She actually had the nerve totell my friend shes just using the other guy and shes putting him (my friend) on hold till later.. I dont get how someone can talk to someone like that...

Okay it drove me fucking crazy.

I broke up with the girl now.

It got very heavy and I acted very wussy when time went by. At first I didn't care about her or her boyfriend and that's what pulled her in. Then we had like 1 month of perfect love. Then I started caring about her and the fact she had a boyfriend and it "killed the feeling".
I knew I had the wrong attitude but I was completely stuck in it. Then we both went on holidays, where I forgot about her, had some stuff with girls, and she forgot me I think. We came back and then she said she broke up with her boyfriend but she felt like she misses him and loves him. It started bothering me and I acted very wussy like : " we are so perfect together. you are the one for me. I'd do anything for you" and some other big wussy behaviour. She came to me , we hugged and she said that she "can't change the way she feels". I know what I did was wrong, the whole wussy stuff, but I just couldn't , it fcked me completely up emotionally.

Besides of that, yesterday I met some new girls, but because I see her a lot in my daily life and can't avoid her she always poofs back into my mind. Then I start comparing other girls to her. And she is always better. Any stuff how I can change that way of thinking?
I try to avoid her to forget about her , but I can't. We see eachother everyday.

V.

Well, speaking to a guy with experience I had it for 20yrs, since I was 5 of course theyre were other girls in the middle but the mistake I made was putting her on a pedestal and comparting her. Women are beautiful, because they do differ from each other. My friend is beautiful, But I am over her now, Ive met too many women in the past few months to think that she can satisfy my needs again. She put me in the friend Zone at 13, heck, the freaking girl didnt kiss me on the cheek til last year before my birthday. Only would call me to emote, never would really listen to me, Just basically used me because she new Id be there and I didnt have much of a social life then. Its your choice either be AFC or take charge of your life.

Juice wrote:

Its your choice either be AFC or take charge of your life.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Such is life my friend. If you're in the same city as your ex, you're GONNA run into her. Deal with it. Don't let her get to you. Move on. There is no "magic pill" to take. It's all in you, in your mind, called inner game. Frame control.

Thanks !!
I didn't know how to act around her, because I had some feelings attached to her.
I've put her most ugly photo and sized it up as a wallpaper ( until yesterday ) and did some other stuff. I also did the style's life challenge day 1 mental shape exercise and let her nose grow and stuff .
And now, when I see her, I just act normal. I talk with other girls. She starts asking me questions and kino's me the more and more I act normal around her and go on with my life

Vedere wrote:

Thanks !!
I didn't know how to act around her, because I had some feelings attached to her.
I've put her most ugly photo and sized it up as a wallpaper ( until yesterday ) and did some other stuff. I also did the style's life challenge day 1 mental shape exercise and let her nose grow and stuff .
And now, when I see her, I just act normal. I talk with other girls. She starts asking me questions and kino's me the more and more I act normal around her and go on with my life

Be VERY, very careful. You're generating attraction in her at this very moment. Which COULD cause YOU to fall right back to where you don't want to be. And, the more you do what you NEED to do, the MORE she will become attracted to you. But as SOON as you start being AFC again, she will be GONE. So, realize the two different sides of this RIGHT now and be prepared for it.

Keep moving on with other girls. You NEED to bro.

I got this girl who I been hooking up with for years, since 2000. Well she has a boyfriend she has been with for 5 years, I had several girlfriends too. We both have been cheating through out our external relationship, and have hooked up at hotels from time to time. Yet her man who she has been with for 5 to 6 years has suspect our relationship. he has even got my number calling me to threat. I am now stationed away from hollywood where I was living, he still calls me until I changed my number.

It was no suprise she does not want nothing to do with me especially after f-closing. we have a secret relationship. Yet now that I will return home from duty this summer, I got the itch to find her (and I can). i do not know what to expect, i usually do not, but it has been like this since 2000, now its a bit more dangerous that her man knows who I am. I heard she has pics of me hidden and old love letters and he found them. Hmmm....sounds like a familiar opener don't it?...LOL....yeah I dont think she is cheating!