I think you'll appreciate honesty, but...

Another "Dear Ladies" email:

Many guys have their "2:00 textee" lists. It's the list of girls we'll contact after closing time if we're going home alone, or out for a night with the guys, or, in my case, after working all night and wanting to take a little break.

If a guy is obviously only contacting you from this list, or if he happens to be unavailable at all times except extremely late at night, you know where things stand with him. If you're receptive, I'm guessing he stands on about the same grounds with you as you do with him.

Is there any merit in maintaining the fiction that this is anything other than a booty call? Do you find it offensive to be thought about this way? Aside from mutual satisfaction, how can we keep you as a happy member of this list?


Love,

Karma

This is a great question Karma.

I personally don't do booty calls. That's just me. I don't like to be thought of as cheap and disposable. I'd rather it be more of a friends with benefits deal where we can still hang out, have sex, with no commitment.

However, to answer your question...

I think you can keep her satisfied if you are still able to treat her like a human being. If you just go, do your thing, and leave she could feel used. I don't mean you have to stay overnight or anything but at least ask her how her day was? Show some interest. Also, don't go bragging to your friends about the events of that night. It should remain between the two of you.

You know, Meg, I think I prefer the friends with benefits angle too. Thanks for the great advice!

I have a thought. Free Love for everyone.

Here's the thing, in due time with the whole "friends with benefits" path; it seems women in that path need to FEEL comfortable with a man to sleep with him. Duh, otherwise she will feel like the piece of meat that she exudes to the lucky fella.

I know, I know....how profound of me to say that, but some people havent gotten that in their head yet.

On that note, the " friends with benefits" idea fails in the end MOST OF THE TIME! Why? Because either party has developed feelings for the other and the other is either too stupid to notice or doesn't FEEL the same "spark" the other person does.

Not saying it can't be attainable to carry on such a casual situation, however it pans out just like that TYPICALLY.

And Meg,(no pun intended) don't critisize darlin', people like me tend to need those booty calls because right now, I need some entertainment and not a blissful commitment. It's personal, but I am glad for you to think of yourself so highly of a valued gal.

Fun is where it's at. Different strokes for different folks!

Are Friends With Benefits technically supposed to last . . . and last . . . and last like the Energizer bunny? I thought that was the purpose . . . avoiding the lasting relationship of the LTR.

L.A. Tripp wrote:

Are Friends With Benefits technically supposed to last . . . and last . . . and last like the Energizer bunny? I thought that was the purpose . . . avoiding the lasting relationship of the LTR.

Friends with benefits is your technical, hey we've been friends forever and day, lets fuck. or your, i dont want a relationship right now, so lets fuck. play in the feelings then it becomes unraveled.

Have a random booty call and poof, its over...yay...no names involved is so impersonal isn't it and would just kill someone to fuck another without some info wouldn't it? Theres the thrill, the promiscuity...the adventure. No names, just call me scenario. It's more adventuous isn't it??

who needs men...us girls have BOB an ROB......lmao

oooo, and look at my post count...aint that special...lol

Ha, I don't even know how to comment on your post there, Par.

Here is how I have evolved in thinking since originally posting. I love the thrill of a one-night stand. And I like the idea of having friends who I can have sex with, or not have sex with. I also like the idea of dating without ever really advancing to anything resembling an exclusive relationship. But I don't think I like fucking someone whom I only speak with in the context of fucking. In other words, if I have no interest in being seen with you during the day, you're fired from my booty call list... That's all.

Heh, I think me and you are on the same page with this Karma. I want to at least have some kind of respect for the girl, in some form, if I'm gonna have sex with her. If I can't respect her in any way, I can't see myself having sex with her. I guess you can say I have standards, lol. To me, respect, in some form, is attractive.

What's funny is . . . when guys take on the mindset that Par has outlined, they get called pigs. Hmmmm. And no Par, that isn't a dig at you.

Oh I am not hatin' Par. Obviosely its going to be different for everyone.

I am not into booty calls because I don't find them fulfilling. I just feel like I have to have somewhat of a connection to truly enjoy it. Without a connection it seems boring. You don't care if the person gets off because you are only in it to satisfy your own needs. You never talk with that person except when you are in the bedroom. The attraction dies. The sexual tension dies. Its boring to me. Since I am not fulfilled I cant help but feel used after its all over.

Do you feel the same disdain for one night stands?

From a twisted mind here. To me sometimes sex on the go is great! I don't have to depict a connection or feel like anything just to get my groove on per se'.

It's like I am hunting the biggest game of all....human. Just so happens I prefer men, so now I am off hunting. During this present moment,I am up in the air as to what I want for end game. In the meantime, I will have my fun until some guy stops me dead in my tracks. To those that know me pretty well ike Tripp an JSmooth, they know it would take an act of God to make me stop to just dig in my heels. LOL....however, I am seeing a fabulous guy right now and am content. But, we all know that nothing lasts forever!

Quote :

But, we all know that nothing lasts forever!

Luckily for us, we don't live for forever. So don't be so quick as to deem it a failure before it happens.

Hobbit wrote:

Quote :

But, we all know that nothing lasts forever!

Luckily for us, we don't live for forever. So don't be so quick as to deem it a failure before it happens.

That's an adjustment to her mental frame I'm not sure she's ready for . . . but thanks for pointing that out Hobbit.