If you want to have more romantic interactions with women, that does NOT mean that you need to "take women out on dates" in order to do it.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I just bought the advanced CD series & it's amazing what a difference they make over the book. Being able to listen on the way to work, whilst out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel the confidence building inside me, it's like my own personal coach.
The C&F doesn't come naturally to me at present so I've taken your advice and am using the internet as a 'woman simulator' in order to practice. I've had mixed results so far, I think a few took the teasing the wrong way as some of them would suddenly stop replying.
I must be better at the C&F than I thought though. The first time I went on this site I was chatting to a few girls and one of them ended up giving me her mobile and asking if we could go for coffee before I had chance to. Anyway my question: You suggest that a date should simply be 'tea & stimulating conversation', which for all of the reasons you give makes perfect sense to me. But once I've done the tea & conversation with this girl, do you have any suggestions for other dates where I can come across as the 'lover' instead of the 'provider'. The only one where I wouldn't end up having to shell out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is a walk along the river or something, but that's rather dependant on the weather.
Thanks for changing my life.
AIB - London UK
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, well you're welcome for the "changing your life" thing. Glad to help.
Now, you're kind of mixing up a couple of concepts that I never intended to "depend" on one another...
If you want to know where to take a woman for dates, that shouldn't be confused with whether or not you come across as a "lover" personality, and not a "provider" personality to her.
Let me ask you something... what is a "date"?
What do you think that the purpose of a "date" is?
Now, I call my material "Double Your Dating", but what I DON'T mean is "take women out to dinner twice as much as you used to".
The word "Dating" is simply a word that all of us guys understand to mean "romantic interactions with women".
So I use it.
But if you want to have more romantic interactions with women, that does NOT mean that you need to "take women out on dates" in order to do it.
Are you with me?
I mean, what do couples do a year after they get together...?
They stay home most of the time, do normal things like go shopping, and generally behave like they did before they met.
This whole "going out to dinner" ritual is really an amazing concept. It's awesome how powerful it is... and how guys really believe that they need to do it (or similar things) in order to get a woman's attention in a romantic way.
Here's the bottom line:
If you want a woman to think of you as a "lover", then BE ONE.
If you want her to think of you as a provider, then just BE ONE.
What you haven't quite realized fully yet is that when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the "normal" rules go away.
If a woman feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then she'll do ANYTHING with you... just to be in your presence and have your attention.
If you have dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you need to say is "come over here".
No dates required.
Now, if you buy her dinner 10 times, call her 3 times a day, and chase her around, then it will be EXPECTED that you continue this PATTERN... and provide for her.
NOTE: If you're buying a woman dinner twice a week, giving her flowers, calling her every day, and basically "chasing" her, then you can be about 80% sure that there's another guy in the picture... but guess what? He's the one who SHE calls, and he's the one who says "Come over later, I'm busy now"... no dates required.
If you want to be a LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.
You don't need to wait until the third time out for coffee or tea.
You'll learn that ATTRACTION doesn't have a timeline.
It happens VERY QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger it... and you don't need a lot of "date ideas" once you do.
And now that I've avoided your question for a page or two, let me answer with this:
I often take women to do "regular" things with me. I'll take them to the grocery store to shop with me, out to the mall to pick things up, and down to the bookstore to buy a book.
First, start BEING the LOVER immediately.
Then, notice how women DON'T CARE what you do together, as long as she's with you.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
Just wanted to say that after reading your material, I experienced a mental shift. I now see situations in terms of: was I self-referenced (C & F Man) or externally referenced (wussie boy)? It is now very clear that success in anything comes to leaders not followers and women hate dealing with followers. For example look at little boys dealing with little girls when they are playing together. They boss them around, make them play by their rules and those girls grow up expecting men to lead them. Just watch any John Garfield or Lee Marvin movie. Leaders get the girl, wussies get to be used and discarded. I've made my choice.
Thanks David
E from Chi
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Good. Now help me get the word out to the other 3 billion guys on the planet.
You're right. Women don't like men who are FOLLOWERS.
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.
But guess what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.
Thanks for reminding us that we need to LEAD. Leading creates ATTRACTION. Following creates the curious dry feeling.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave-- I definitely have to give it to you. You are "da shizznitt", lol. Your DYD dvd series has really changed my entire life. I now feel like I am in control of "My World". I was a little hesitant about buying your product... but I just said "What the Hell...What can I loose???" I am military and in my spare time I am a bartender. You know what that means... I see females out the izzass, lol. I was working one night and a female came up to one of my fellow bartenders to order something and while getting her drink... she asked told him... " all these guys are staring at me. Do you think i'm cute?" Now normally if I were in his shoes and hadn't learned what you taught me... I would have melted and told her that she was the finest thing to step foot on this base... case in point...that was what he said. He just bent down unzipped his pants and practically handed her his nuts. Hence, her hands being the nutcracker. I interrupted them while he was "dazed and confused" and told her "Actually they're looking at that big pimple on your forehead. She stopped and turned towards me and laughed and hit me on the arm. Then I told her not to get mad cuz I was cuter than she. She smiled and for some odd reason... she could not keep herself away from the bar. I just pretended that she was one of my friends that I tease all the time and just called her on everything that she did. Man... I couldn't believe that she was really eating this up!!! The other bartender that she was talking to first, couldn't believe that I was doing this!!! He.... for some odd reason didn't GET what was going on... It was like jets flying over his head. And to show that his nuts belonged to her... he just kept trying to compliment her. She just glanced at him smiled and quickly turned her head to pay him no mind. I got her e-mail and number and she has been like putty in my hands for the past three months. I have to give it to you, Dave. You da man!!! I'm not a selfish person...so I gave him your e-mail address and hopefully he'll get your system and realize what he's been doing wrong. I should give him her e-mail address so that he can ask for his balls back, lol. But... for those who have doubts about Dave's system... I'm living proof of success.
Thanks Dave!!!
JR - Mexico
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, I think that you must have some kind of bizarre NUT OBSESSION, dude.
And it's not right.
But hey, fortunately you're on the right side of the "don't hand them over" equation, so everything seems like it might be all right for you.
You've given some great examples of how to get an attractive woman's attention, tease her, and play with her to "spark" that initial sexual tension and "chemistry".
Now make sure you keep it up so you're not writing me in 3 more months with the "She used the Trojan Horse De-Nutting Technique" on me.
***QUESTION***
Hey Man, What has happened to women's standards? All the beautiful babes with no neck dorks! I am a good looking guy and I can't even get a phone number. They go out with guys that weigh like 300 lbs and dress like slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a nice car and I can't get a single date. Maybe it is where I live. In order to get a date I will have to gain 200 lbs and have someone break my nose so I am ugly enough for some girl to date me. American girls suck! They have no taste anymore!
I give up!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
No, I think that the problem is that you whine like a whipped Bitch.
Women can smell a "victim" attitude 100 miles away, and it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.
Women's "standards" are just fine.
The problem isn't them, it's YOU.
Now do yourself a favor and quit ACTING like a little girl, and DO SOMETHING about your situation.
What, do you think that all the average and ugly guys out there who have HOT girlfriends are getting them by being ugly?
The answer is "No, they're not".
These guys are getting the babes because they know how to make the women feel ATTRACTION.
Trust me, I know quite a few guys who are NOT exactly the picture of "handsome"... but these guys get a lot of women.
Why?
Because they KNOW HOW.
Now quit whining, and go LEARN.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dear Dr. D, Just wanted to drop you a quick note. I am a 34 year old and divorced using your E-book to learn how to get back into the game. Since I was raised by my parents to be a nice guy, submissive, wussy, it has been a challenge to overcome these self-destructive traits---but I am gaining ground every day. Also, I don't have any natural ability for C&F. For the most part I am quiet and reserved----so I have needed to re-train myself in that area also. You have given me a good start by explaining attraction and what women want.
I want to stress the importance of "practice". It's the only way to quickly improve your inner and outer game. What has helped me is practicing on an old girlfriend. I am sure many of your students like me have a woman that just won't let you go from an old relationship. So, I have not completely ended it for sex and companionship and she keeps me around for sex and emotional support.
Anyway----to my amazing weekend: Saturday, I went out with the old girlfriend and busted on her and challenged her on many issues all night. My old self would have shut up and zoned out---not this time. I didn't put up with any of her nonsense. It ended at my place and we had an amazing double session. She is now hooked more than ever even though she knows I am seeing other people. She can't help herself. I have triggered the attraction mechanism and more importantly I know what I did to accomplish that. Sunday I spent the day with a cute girl who had responded to my internet ad. We had only been out once before. I played the game---didn't act overly sexually interested, just enough....I used the C&F when I could, but basically kept cool. She offered to pay our lunch/cocktail bill. My old self would have foolishly denied her offer---thinking I was the man, thinking I was being chivalrous (how foolish
. This time I accepted without hesitation. Once back at my place I used the start and stop technique. I would get her hot, then I would back off. She would stop my hand from reaching too far so I decided that I wasn't going to push it and that tonight might not be "the night" with her so I was very relaxed. At 10:00 she was getting ready to leave. We started making out while saying goodbye----next thing I know , we were in the bedroom. It was amazing. The fun lasted all night. Today I am tired with a smile on my face. I know it worked out because I put the proper groundwork in place. By turning my sexual advances on and then off-----it really got to her. Acting as if I was evaluating her...the whole thing. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction, I am starting to get it!!! Literally
C
Fort Lauderdale, Fl
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yea, you really are starting to GET IT.
And you are RIGHT ON.
This stuff takes practice and real-world experience using it before you really "get it".
Too many guys are just too damned overly-analytical, and want to know how to do EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING.
I used to be this way... and it cost me a lot of time and energy.
It's so amazing to actually get out there and SEE results right in front of your eyes. It gets you excited and willing to try more things... and it prepares you for the future... for situations that are REALLY important.
Get out there and use this stuff.
Start NOW.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
What does it mean when a woman says she wants to "work on herself" before she can have a relationship?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The literal translation for this is:
"I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS."
Any of the following:
"I need time alone right now."
"I need to find me first."
"Let's just be friends for now."
...etc. mean:
"I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTION."
That's the bottom line.
The problem is YOU, not HER.
Don't be surprised if this same girl either IS or STARTS dating another guy seriously soon.
If you're hearing this kind of thing often, then you need to take it as a sign that you're not triggering ATTRACTION inside of women... and, more importantly, that you need to LEARN HOW.
I recommend my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
This will help eliminate these types of comments from women once and for all.
Here, let me brag for a minute...
I'm sitting here thinking about it, and I can't remember a woman saying one of these things to me in YEARS.