Social Distortion (the reason why the world is messed up)

So i have been really thinking about this lately, on both a macro and micro level. I live in Philly, i think one of the top city for murders per year if not the top. I see shit on the news like school shootings, genocide, rapes, and just far out crimes that dont even have a name. People say the worlds going grazy toungue in cheek...but is it really? Why does it seem like all these things are happening now, in our time in history? Dont we have the greatest technology to date, the greatest understanding of our being?

The simple answer is Socializing.

Take me for example, im fairly young. Im in my mid 20's but i remember a time when you had to go out and interact with people face to face. I remember all the kids in the neighborhood comming outside at night to play and the parents sitting outside together keeping an eye on us. (i grew up in the city, not the burbs). I recall a time when you had to goto a store to buy things, when you knew your neighbors, and when people would interact with random people in stores and in parks.

I drive through the same nieghborhood i grew up in, at any time, and there is almost not a soul out. No kids playing, no sound of the ice cream truck driving through and kids rushing over to it....not even the sound of an agry parent scoulding thier kid for going too far from the house. I goto check out at a grocery store and the clerk doesnt tell you to have a nice day, and more over most people dont wish the clerk a nice day. They stale mate each other and never interact.

Take into consideration even a "social" crowd at a bar or club. 90% of the time its a group of friends that dont try and interact with other people they dont know. You can see it looking around, clusters of people pretending huddles together, guys pretending to watch the game on TV when you know they cant hear it over the music and probably dont give a crap about the badmitten finals. The majority of people there are wonder what they are doing they and its obvious they are only there because thier friends went.

The sad reality of it is that we as a civilization, as a world, are devolving socially. Video games, the internet, online dateing, in home entertainment systems, etc are slowly killing our social skills, and with that the ability to have an outlet for a ton of emotions.

Cultures clash and countries fail to interact because the people running them dont understand social interaction. Social interaction has been branded as an uncomfortable and avoidable scenario. However its social interaction that got us where we are today...without it our ability to learn and grow would never have expanded such.

As a community, we PUA's are a rising tide of individual people who realize the importance of keeping social interaction alive. We aspire to motivate and stimulate others to do the same. We realize that one of the keys to happiness, not just being happy (being happy is a state of mind, it can come and go fairly quickly, obtaining happiness is perpetual, long lasting, and effects you at the core level), is to be social and revel in that interaction.

So honestly i hope the world embraces PUA, studies it and gets back on track. Without social interaction humanity will tear itself apart.

Well im 32 and I have to agree, i remember the days when people knew their neighbors. I personally blame culture and press, the press prints what sells papers the news shows what boosts ratings, its not about whats really going on, its all about money. The US i have to say is one of the worst cultures for this and its all down to making more $$$. Half of America live in a state of fear, people who hate guns buy guns for protection because they believe they NEED them to be safe. Terrorist threats are pushed down your throats more than anything else, it sells security it sells guns, it keeps a population docile and deflects from the real issues at home. It provides support for billions to be poured into wars and weapons instead of a proper health care system.

Ask yourself when the last time a cure for any disease or illness was invented, you have to go back a very long way. The pharmasutical companies have the cures and shit but its not good business the real cash is in the repeat prescriptions.

Dont get me wrong im not slating the US, the whole world is guilty of this its just the US does it on a grander scale.

I know all this and understand it, hell if i owned a company i would maximize profits too.

I choose to base my life on my experiences not on the press or media and refuse to live my life in fear its that fear that makes us AFCs in the first place.

I doubt the world will ever remember PUA's it sounds sleazy and women in general detest the idea that they can be played or that they are not in control.

Maybe its time we rise as Social Artists or Lifestyle Artists because thats most of the game, thats what we are creating and it just so happens that as a side effect of understanding social dynamics so well and appearing so damn confident in any situation that we happen to pick up a lot of women along the way.

We wont change the way the world works, money will always come first but we can make a huge difference to a lot of peoples lives on a global scale.

The PUA community has some of the most gifted and intelligent people in the world who understand social dynamics and interactions better than anyone else in the world. We have the best inner game gurus and confidence coaches. Its just a shame that people hear Pick Up Artist and jump to the conclusion they must be all sleazy players.

Just my thoughts anyhow so the short answer is i agree

i just have ta say something quickly on the guns note, i want everyone's oppinion. Do you think they should make guns illegal?
Because that would stop all this crap about school shooting, etc. I mean whats the point in selling guns in supermarkets. Hell im pretty sure if they started selling guns at morrisons (walmart, whatever) in the UK then people would go out and buy them. Its so simple, Dont advertise them like this.

I dont have any problems with america or americans, i have quite a few good friends in america, but this is just.....i dont know, i dont get it. please enlighten me

Nation wrote:

i just have ta say something quickly on the guns note, i want everyone's oppinion. Do you think they should make guns illegal?
Because that would stop all this crap about school shooting, etc. I mean whats the point in selling guns in supermarkets. Hell im pretty sure if they started selling guns at morrisons (walmart, whatever) in the UK then people would go out and buy them. Its so simple, Dont advertise them like this.

I dont have any problems with america or americans, i have quite a few good friends in america, but this is just.....i dont know, i dont get it. please enlighten me

Alright I'm going to step in for a minute here. Let's clear one thing up real quick. What is sold at supermarkets as you call them like Wal-Mart are long guns like hunting rifles and shotguns. Honestly these are not advertised very much, and they don't put advertising sales on them in the local papers. I personally live in the south and hunting is a frequent hobby of many southerners. The biggest problem is with handguns. I will publicly tell you that I own a handgun, and I will also tell you I have a carry and conceal deadly weapons permit. This permit requires a class, lengthy background check, finger prints, and more. I don't really take my weapon with me anywhere but I feel that you should have a permit. Although this is not required it would be a good idea. Besides lets be honest, guns don't kill people, idiots with guns kill people.

Now that I'm done with my gun rant. Ka, this is a good realization post, and I completely agree with you.

Amen Brother Ka and J....wooo!!

Yeah, shoot when I was younger interacting with girls wasnt really no pressure, at all?

Well Juice, back in the day, we didn't have as much crime as we do today. I think because of crimes such as rape,murder, and other forms of torture has jaded our world of trust so much. I remember when I was 10, I had no problem walking up to a boy and slugging the hell outta his arm just because I could. Now, If I were to walk up to a guy and slug him one, he might slug back. So, crime has definitly put fear in folks ya know.

Without a doubt, worldly mishaps are noted to be psychosomatic because it gives us the excuse to be who we are unjustly all the time or at times.

My point wasn't about the guns, it was about the fear in society that makes people that don't like them buy them to feel safe.

We are lucky in England we only get dumb terrorists over here that blow themselves up and our media isn't as dark as the US Media, if it was then people over here would go out and buy whatever weapons were available to them Knives, X-bows etc.

I think my point is most people go through their lives being scared, scared of other people and thats what makes us stand out.

Ok guys before you all go off on a gun/crime rant...let me set you guys straight. While my post does touch a bit on crimes....the crimes are the result of the lack of social interaction not the other way around.

I wish i remembered the source, but most crimes are actually the result of sexual frustration, which in the majority of scenarios is due to abnormal social skills or the lack of them. (The source may have been my doctor now that i think about it lol). Sure finacial pressure and other things apply...but i digress.

My Major point was that kids are not brought up to interact casually, they arent forced to go outside and play with other kids, and in many ways the "excuses" for us to socialize have died...i mean who goes to the record store anymore? Why go and be forced to potentially chit chat with the cashier or someone you bump into when you can download them for free?

Why goto an electronics store when you can buy the same thing online, for less? Why talk when you can text?

All of these "advances" in technology that are suppossed to make our lives easier end up in the long run making our lives harder, because they allow us to detach socially. This detachment causes abnormal behavior.

My overall point was that we as a society have allowed ourselves to detach socially from each other, and its driving us nuts...PUA is a movement that i foresee countering that.

Actually you have a really good point.

I cant count the amount of people i know whose social lives have been replaced by sitting behind a keyboard playing online games.

My ex's 2 brothers have just gone of to college and spend every moment out of classes alone in their rooms playing WOW.. They have no social skills at all.

Why go to a music store when you can download it for free.
Why go to the cinema when you can download the movies for free.

What I would say is that one of the reasons online games are so big and addictive is because it offers a new level of escapism , you can be a social recluse in real life but online you can be level 99 Zog of the Bog and have people respect you for being uber leet.

Believe me I work in IT i know a lot of men like that from 18 - 50 and for them online gaming is their social life. Suggest they go for a beer after work and every one will have 100 excuses ready not to go so they can get home to their online world.

This kind of person I was for the last 2yrs, my social life was behind a keyboard playing online games and letting my personality shine for the girls that I wooo'ed, when I left the room it was an unconfident anti-social type of guys because of trust issues with other people.

I played WoW from release til about sept of 07...i was hands down addicted and it destroyed my life on many levels, im rebuilding it now.

Video games isnt all either, non-commital forms of interaction like texting and IM have also ruined how we interact. Even things like ipods and home entertainment systems are to blame. Think about how many people shield themselves from outside interaction but tieing themselve sin constantly to an ipod or cell phone.

Why watch a movie at the theatres for 10-15 bux when at home you can watch it in better quality for less money?

Also time is another issue, people are so flustered and worry about managing time they dont spend the few mins a day to interact. As a kid i remember going to stores with my grandfather. He'd socialize with all the clerks and random people, even my father does this....but people nowadays and in younger generations dont wana "watse" the time. They are racing off to work, to school, or to what they must do.

We build more things to make our lives easier, all they do is free up our time to cluster more shit into our day, and what we pay for that is social interaction.

Another one, online shopping, groceries, dvds, cds, clothes (ebay n stuff), order it online have it delivered to your door.

Food is now all drive thru, or delivery.

Even at work we are encouraged to use teleconference facilities rather than travelling to face to face meetings.

The list is endless

Ka, I concur. I absolutely do. Thank you for posting this.

Ive started doing the same where ever I go I make small talk with anyone!

Juice wrote:

Ive started doing the same where ever I go I make small talk with anyone!

I do the same, and people dont think its effective for building your social skills up but it is. Not only that would you rather shop at a place where people know and like you or where no one cares if you ever show up again?

I love chit chatting with clerks/sales people, etc...doesnt matter if they are 80 or 18...i do it to entertain myself, and lift up the moods of those around me.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here Ka...primarily since you don't seem to be getting any opposition from the rest of the peanut gallery.

First, I think "the world is going to hell in a handbasket" is a prevalent one, and each generation, as they get older, tends to see it more and more. The first time hits us as soon as we start growing facial hair, mature a bit, and generally get out of our ego-centric perception of the world that is overriding as a youth. We tend to romanticize the past, which causes us to look at the world and see change, which generally is viewed as bad change. Sure there have been great advances but on the whole, hatred is growing, social gaps are widening, and a general moral decay is taking place. What you are currently doing is rationalizing it. Not that I have any problems with rationalizations, but just note that the phenomena comes before the explanation. Considering at this point in our lives, our parents almost certainly thought the same thing (albeit they likely had a different rationalization for the woes of the world) I think it is prudent to ask if this is a genuine issue or whether it is a perceptual matter. With that being said, I don't want to trivialize what you are saying, just recognize that we all have a tendency to romanticize the past, view change as bad, and give explanations to perceived problems.

I think it would first be worthwhile, before examining your explanation to assess the situation. I don't take it for granted that the past was particularly warm and fuzzy. Recall that during this childhood of yours, we both lived through the Gulf War and, a bit before our time the Vietnam War. Just prior to that, we were embroiled in the Korean War and on the brink of nuclear war with Russia--at the time there was a very real fear that the world would end in a big, fiery atomic mess. Prior to that were the two World Wars, during which time nuclear weapons were used for the first and last time. Lump on top of that that we have seen an unparalleled leap in the sciences that hasn't been seen since the days of the Scientific Revolution, widespread use of personal technology (not just computers, but even refrigerators-allowing us a greater access to quality nutrition), the human genome was sequenced, polio was largely eradicated, and the doom and gloom prophecies don't seem to strike such a strong chord. During all of this, the technological mediums that are shaping our present lives were no where near where they are today.

Of course, while I certainly disagree with the scope of the claim being made here, it still seems legitimate to consider the implication: are the "technologies and lifestyle" of the present causing us to "devolve socially"? Again, I think the answer is largely "no".

First, I think it is important to consider what a devolution would consist of. Our social skills were, by and large, developed in our hunter-gatherer stage of development when we consisted of tribes of approximately 150 individuals. Neuroscience is confirming that we are adapted to best handle social circles of approximately 150--past that point we start having trouble. Yet this condition has been gone since the Neolithic Revolution about 10,000 years ago--ever since we started planting crops. Now it's debatable whether we have evolved since, but even if he have evolved somewhat since then and adapted to agricultural, stable societies--they were still quite small compared to modern times. Even 4600 years ago, Mohenjo-daro--one of the biggest cities at the time, only had 40,000 people. Contrast this with the millions that inhabit major cities, and I think that it is evident we are a far cry away from the environment we have developed and evolved most in.

So why is it sensible to consider this a devolution? I think it is simply a change. Unless we were capable of removing over 90% of the world's population, we could not even come close to replicating the state we initially evolved into. Quite frankly, I wouldn't want to go back (though I think the world could stand to shed a few billion).

But lets forget evolution/devolution in the real biological/psychological sense for a moment, and think about the change in our social environment. Does the burgeoning technological advances represent a negative influence? I don't even think this is the case. Yes, some people hide their lives away on computers and sink into passivity and apathy through preprogrammed digital entertainment, but computers and the internet have opened up communities like nothing before ever has. I can talk to people across the globe and get opinions from people who have grown up in situations completely different from my own. I have access to enormous amounts of information (provided I can sift through it all) which is absolutely free. And maybe there are still people hiding in their basement playing WoW. In earlier times, those people were just as closed off from the world, they just did it in different ways.

Social interaction will continue as usual--maybe just in different ways.

Addendum in response to earlier replies:

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The US i have to say is one of the worst cultures for this and its all down to making more $$$.

I disagree. It's all about the money in plenty of other places as well, and when it's not about the money, it's about power (are they interchangeable?). China, for instance, has a much, MUCH more money hungry/materialistic culture than the USA.

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Well Juice, back in the day, we didn't have as much crime as we do today.

Source? You sure it just isn't getting more frequently reported? There is a difference and in my mind, increased reporting is a good thing.

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most crimes are actually the result of sexual frustration

Yes, I would like to see this source. I think that we are trying to make extremely complex issues a bit simple here.

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Why go to a music store when you can download it for free.
Why go to the cinema when you can download the movies for free.

What do these things have to do with social skills?

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you can be a social recluse in real life but online you can be level 99 Zog of the Bog and have people respect you for being uber leet.

I lol'd at this.

If there is a modern failing of socialization (and I think there is one--I don't wholly disagree with you), I think it is a general disconnect with parents and children. Children lack positive adult same sex role models and mentors. First, parents allow compulsory education and the various extracurricular activities involved to babysit the children. Second, parents do not feel the need to teach proper social skills, whereas etiquette and other values were a mainstay of the social education received during childhood. Even if a child resents your teachings, he will remember them and use them to good effect when needed.

I also strongly believe in virtue ethics, which has fallen by the wayside in academia and in child development.

Both of these instructive roles have been usurped by television.

I believe that if you do not have time to spend the necessary time raising your children, you should not have them. This is a personal and civic duty.

Yes I did say

Quote :

" The US i have to say is one of the worst cultures for this and its all down to making more $$$."

but also followed it up with

Quote :

"Dont get me wrong im not slating the US, the whole world is guilty of this its just the US does it on a grander scale."

I do agree power is major influence but money and power go hand in hand.

Music store and cinema, as i was growing up these are the 2 places my friends and I spent a great deal of time, the arcades a the cinema were ace. (In the UK arcades are in bowling alleys and cinemas)

Fiction i partly agree with you social interaction is there its just not the same as it was.

I do however think that now a majority of peoples communication is not face to face and its all very false. I will take a lot of friends as examples who play online games all the time, they constantly flirt with women over IM or in game and they come across as really fun guys but put them in a room with a woman and ask them to interect and they will sit in the corner with thier heads down trying to look like the pot plant they are sat next to.

So yes i agree there is a shift in communication, I would even go as far as to say people communicate more now but most of it is meaningless.

On crime well there is a lot more of it without a doubt, but the figures as a % of population remain pretty steady.

I dont think sex is to blame for crime either I think its the same old motivators, sex, drugs, greed, self pity, attention seeking etc.

No Fiction, i embrace your ideas and concepts here. I dont Want everyone to agree with me all the time, thats not how we learn and broden our world view. Alot of what you said is dead on accurate, and i see your point.

For me my arguement was lesss about the tangible and the measurable and more about the atmosphere and environment and the feelings people had.

Alot of people feel that they do not have enough time in the day to accomplish what they needed to do, my Doc and other people i know in the that field tell me all the time that its the most common complaint they hear from thier clients/patients. This is a complaint that they rarely heard in say the 70's. Why the increase? My one doctor attributes it to technologies. How it started out that things like a washer and microwave saved us time....but now more complicated technologies actually have either caused us to spend more time alloted to them (computer) and that some technologies have removed a chore from our day all together (say a washer). With so many different technologies shifting our time around it becomes harder to manage. Time management is the issue, but the technologies we use play a part in that problem.

Also as Nomadic pointed out the problem with not having to go out to get things is that you saving yourself from potential interaction on the lowest scale, no thanks when your done paying, no have a nice day as you walk out...

While i agree that the computer and internet have opened doors that we couldnt have imagined, i can talk to people halfway around the world...the problem with this is that this communication...even what we are doing right now, isnt really social. Its in a controled state, i have the power to get up and not have to interact if it becomes uncomfortable for me to read. I can therefor be more bold here and disagree when maybe i wouldnt normally, or i can challenge someone in a way i wouldnt in person, or hit on a girl and say something i wouldnt say face to face.

And while i know personally that crime by the statistics provided by the Bueru of Justice says that crime has been on the decline since 93 and reporting has gone up...wouldnt you agree that the types of crimes being commited are escalateing? Before Columbine had there been major school shootings before? Isnt a school shooting almost common place by now? Hear about younger and younger children involved in violent plans or acts is becomming less and less of a surprise....im sure you heard about those 3rd graders (10 of them) planning to kill thier teacher. While terrorism has been around as long as people have, did you hear that 2 mentally challenged women were strapped with explosives and remote detonated?

I mean those are just tidbits of some of the wierd acts going on today that you did not see happening as little as 20 years ago. In anycase this post really isnt about the crime, that wasnt the focal point of my post.

I still beleive that normal and healthy social interaction is on a decline...people feeling like they dont have the time, not having the tools to do it. and being distracted by more pleasent things...i beleive thats all lead to mass amounts of people failing socially.