Women, Body Language, and Attraction

Women, Body Language, And Attraction

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Dave,

I have had your book for many months... Anyways, I
used to be a super-wuss. Only got unpleasant fat
chicks. Bought your book. Cleaned up my hair, my
clothes, my apartment. Took baby-steps to improve
my self-esteem and eliminate my insecurities. Now,
even though I am not, nor ever will be a GQ model,
I walk around with my head held high and walk
slowly as if to say 'hey world, here I am!'. I
practiced online and met this girl who, after
spending an afternoon just shooting pool (the
whole time I accused her of cheating) and throwing
snowballs at her (especially after she told me not
to), tried to seduce me. Then I started practicing
on the girls at work. Just little baby-steps. 'Hi'
then 'what's your name', etc. And now I can go out
in public and do that with a complete stranger.
And I do. Almost every day. And I keep a journal
of what I notice.

Anyways, here is my question. Since I can now talk
to a beautiful woman I've never met before like
she's an average joe, I've noticed body language,
from the women, that I never used to see. It
signals nervousness to me. Examples are: looking
at the floor instantly when I say hi, nervous
laughter after she tries to make a lame joke or
just some statement, fidgeting, running her
fingers through her hair a lot. It usually happens
after a couple minutes of her meeting me, even
when they don't seem nervous at all at first. And
I don't always bust on them, but sometimes I do. I
just try to stay myself. Upbeat but not emotional.
I give lots of eye contact and have even seen
pupils dilate right in front of me. So I'm
confused. Is her being nervous around me a good
thing? Or am I doing something wrong? I figured
since you spent years at this, you were the man to
ask. Even if you don't want to use my email, your
time in addressing this issue would be greatly
appreciated.

Thanks,

W., Ohio

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your email; you've shared some
really interesting points and brought up some
issues that I think a lot of guys can benefit
from...

First of all, great job working on all of those
little things that add up to a big improvement.

Most of us will never be GQ models, but we can
all do our best with what we have.

Too many guys take the attitude of "I'll never
be a GQ model and therefore I shouldn't brush my
teeth or comb my hair, either"... which is
horrible.

Women are far less concerned with "physical
beauty" than men, but they ARE concerned with how
a man takes care of what he has.

Also, good job practicing online and in the
real world. The more you practice, the better
you'll be when the opportunities present
themselves in the real world.

You are JUST STARTING to see things that have
been happening all around you, and now you need to
start understanding what they mean.

When you begin to treat beautiful women like
they're just another person, and you start
communicating with them in a way that says, "Hi,
I'm a confident, sexually aware man... and I want
to find out what you're like as a person" it has
ALL KINDS of interesting effects.

Some women will get nervous, some will get
turned on.

Some will even run away because they're
intimidated.

I'd like you to imagine something for a second.

Imagine that you're an attractive woman who
walks around all day getting approached by men,
asked out, and generally treated like you're
special. Imagine that this is what you've become
accustomed to, and that you have a basic way of
responding to all of these men: You smile politely
and say that you have a boyfriend, and if the man
persists you act cold and walk away.

Now, imagine that all of a sudden a man shows
up that is OBVIOUSLY not "taken off balance" by
your looks, and who seems to be different. In
fact, you can't tell what's going on because he's
not acting like a needy Wuss who wants to treat
you special just because you happen to be
physically beautiful.

Further, what if you actually started to feel a
GUT-LEVEL ATTRACTION for him while he was talking
to you, and it surprised you.

HOW WOULD YOU ACT?

You'd probably start to get a little nervous,
and feel a little uncomfortable.

Right?

It's natural for humans to feel nervous when
they're in the presence of someone who's making
them feel feelings that they don't often feel.

But just because a person is acting NERVOUS
doesn't mean that they're not ENJOYING it.

Now, with all that said, the only thing that
really matters when you're talking to a beautiful
woman who you're interested in seeing again, is
the RESULT.

In other words, it doesn't matter how you feel,
how she feels, what is said, etc. in the end.

The only thing that matters after it's all said
and done is whether or not you see her AGAIN.

So here's what I'd do if I were you...

USE THE 3 MINUTE EMAIL/PHONE NUMBER TECHNIQUE
WITH EVERY WOMAN YOU TALK TO!

While you're still learning about subtle female
body language and attraction, you need to get the
email and number to follow up with later. ALWAYS.

The more you do this, and then follow up later,
the more you'll begin to connect RESULTS with how
a woman was acting when you were FIRST talking to
her.

Does this make sense?

You'll even start to be able to tell what works
and what doesn't based purely on the EMAIL
responses you get from women you've met.

You're on the right track, and you're figuring
out things that most men won't even KNOW EXIST in
their entire lives... so stick with it.