How To Act Around VERY Attractive Women
>NOTE: You can watch video clips of every program
I've created, about how to meet women, right here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog/ ***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
David,
(This is going to be long, deal.) I am a
recovering wuss. Less than two months ago a 2 year
relationship finally ran itself into the ground.
Knowing what I know now I don't think would have
saved it, but I think it would have been more fun
while it lasted, and I would have gotten out a lot
sooner. Advice to other guys who are in
confusing transitional periods...focus on
yourself. Think about your life, what you're
doing, and where you are going. After being in a
long relationship, you forget what it's like to be
on your own and think about yourself. Being
directed and happy with your own life is the best
thing you can do for your love life. I've started
to "get it" and since the breakup I've been
hitting the gym every day, standing up straighter,
eating better, working harder, getting more
involved with my family, etc. My life is a LOT
busier now than it used to, and it feels great. It
also gives you a much different perspective on
women. This has already been covered quite a bit,
but it's true that this is a cycle. If you have
confidence in your life, women will respond very
positively on you, which gives you more confidence
in your love life. Acting picky (in a smart way)
about women is a self-fulfilling thought!
Now my question. There's a girl I met about 6
months ago while I was still in that other
relationship...she's about a 9 in looks, and she
is the only girl I've ever met who I think might
actually be as smart as I am.
She's very young though, and probably not very
experienced as far as relationships go. When we
first met, we talked for quite a while and it
turned out we share a LOT of obscure interests and
at the time she gave me her email AND phone number
without my asking for it. Somehow that didn't send
up the "she wants you" flag, as I was in dumbass
male wussy boy relationship mode. Well now I've
gotten back in touch with her. Her first response
was very positive, with comments like "I was
afraid you'd forgotten about little old me!" and
such. She also apologized for taking so long to
reply (it was only a few days) since she had been
on vacation. I figured there was never a better
time to try out c&f so I responded with "So what
are you going to do to make it up to me?" I had
never imagined I could be so bold, but it felt SO
right. You are absolutely right when you say that
c&f isn't game playing. It's what deep down inside
we are all supposed to be doing! Well, she
responded almost apologetically with a suggestion
that we could go out and then figure it out, and
she said maybe go to a movie or a particular
museum, or anything...I responded with (and here's
where my question starts) "hmm..sounds
tempting..how about all of the above?" She also
closed that email with "lots of love," Now at
this point, I fought HARD to stave off wussy boy
mode. I was thinking that the "nice" (wussy)
thing to do would be to also close with "lots of
love" or something along those lines. So instead,
I continued to bust on her as I had throughout the
email by responding to it with "hmm...again...lots
sounds tempting but.. how about all?"
Now my question is this. These responses seem
like they might be wussy since they are
"admitting" at least indirectly that I feel
strongly about her and want to spend a lot of time
with her. However, they are a stark contrast to
the "oh yes, lets please go to a movie! I'm the
luckiest moron ever!" and "love," responses. To
generalize further, as long as you take a step
back and say what you want to say for yourself
(because it's what you want) and not what you
think they want to hear, is that good enough? I'm
reminded of the contrast you made between "Can I
take you out to dinner?" and "I'm going out to
dinner, you should join me."
Thanks,
J.M., New Hampshire (Where men are men and sheep
are scared.)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Dude!
It's NOT cool to write "Where men are men and
sheep are scared" as the tag line after your name.
Stop that.
Now let's have a little talk...
To comment on the first thing that you talked
about, it really is easy to fall into a pattern of
negative behavior when you're in a long
relationship that isn't working.
Sometimes it seems easier to act like a Wuss,
do what your girlfriend/wife wants, and put aside
your own self respect just to avoid conflicts when
a relationship is going bad.
Hell, sometimes it becomes easy to do this even
when a relationship is going WELL if you don't
know any better.
And by the time you finally get OUT of the
relationship you can be left with a negative
outlook, resentment towards your ex (that you
project onto other women), and all kinds of other
baggage.
Oh, and you're right on... when you are in one
of these "transitional" periods, it's a GREAT idea
to focus on yourself, and work on getting your
life together.
Raising your standards, staying busy, improving
all areas of your life... all great ideas.
The idea of becoming more "picky" is also a
winner.
Women are attracted to men who have high
standards.
Now to your question...
You've brought up a distinction that is VERY,
VERY important.
And once you get the hang of making this
distinction, and communicating effectively with
it, you'll notice a MAJOR shift in the way women
respond to you.
You're definitely on the right track, so let's
really get into this issue.
Most men make the mistake of doing and saying a
million little things that, as you say, make it
"seem like they might be wussy since they are
"admitting" at least indirectly that I feel
strongly about her and want to spend a lot of time
with her".
Bingo.
So let's break this down.
Your question to me is basically "Is it "good
enough" that I don't tell a woman what she wants
to hear? And is it OK to let her know, or "admit"
that I'm interested in her?"
You had some kind of confusing, mixed up,
convoluted way of asking these questions... so I
thought I'd do you the favor of making it simple
and understandable.
You can pay me later.
Anyway...
Why would you want to "admit" to a woman this
early on that you are "interested" in her?
Your Inner Wuss is just longing for a way to
express herself... I mean himself... isn't she/he?
And ESPECIALLY with a woman who you described
as a "9 in looks" and "as smart as you"?! (You're
going to want to remember everything I'm telling
you right now in the future... EVERY TIME you meet
a "hot" woman or a "model" you want to date.)
So get with the program, man!
This woman KNOWS that every guy in the world
wants her. She walks through the world ASSUMING
that on a subconscious level.
When you "admit" that you're interested in her,
in all these subtle and cute little ways, you're
just basically making yourself more and more like
all the other guys in the world (in her mind, that
is).
Don't you see?
In her email to you, she said: "I was afraid
you'd forgotten about little old me!" and she also
"apologized for taking so long to reply".
Then you responded by saying "So when are you
going to make it up to me?"...
PERFECT.
She replied by saying, "we could go out and
figure it out then..." and she also suggested a
movie or museum.
Again, DON'T YOU SEE?
What you did WORKED!
It worked, so now you want to do something
ELSE.
Humans love to find things that work, then do
something else as soon as possible.