pass the clouds...

Alright so it has been a while... here is an update before I move onto my next question I propose to all of you.

I have stopped with the extra validation stuff. I'm slowly realizing that I'm a hell of a guy...and if things dont pan out or she doesn't want me anymore it's NOT the end of the world...

Now my question as it stands is about sexual escalation. When we first started dating she said, No sex until there is a ring...or a strong case of a comittment. No smash and dash. I said that's fine...

It's been 3 months and for the past two times we've messed around she wanted it. Bad. Last time it go to the point of "Just stick it in...fuck me..." - Now I know this is her horomones talking...they are raging. She even went so far to say "you know, 99% of the other boys would totally bang me right now....

She is calling out my manhood... BUT

It's like she is 2 different people... non-horny GF...and Fuck me GF... When I ask them the same question I get 2 TOTALLY different replies. What do I do?

I care for her and this relationship. I don't want her to have a meltdown and emotionally shut down after we fuck...with the hormones go away.

As I said earlier, the way I see it,

1. Sit her down and have a serious talk about this serious issue in this serious adult relationship
2. Go with your gut, get layed.
3. Do nothing, don't get layed
4.Go with your gut, get layed and then immediately talk about it. Don't give her a reason to have buyers remorse.

LaRockStar wrote:

She even went so far to say "you know, 99% of the other boys would totally bang me right now....

She is calling out my manhood...

Anytime a girl says anything like this you need to say something to make it a positive comment. You are different then other guys and for good reason. Make it obvious.

"Im not 'other boys', im a man and i agreed to something...i keep my word"

"Im not other guys, thats why you date me"

"Im not other guys, if you want to have sex we can talk about it again, just not in a situation like this...i dont want you to regret it."

"Im respecting your wishes, if they are different lets talk it over again when your not 'in the mood'"

You have a choice to make as a man...talk it over with her again when your not in the moment, or do it when she asks and deal with the consequences if there are any.

You can start the convo with her somewhere along the lines of, "I want you to understand its not that i dont want to, but im a man and i respect your wishes...if thats gonna change its upto you. Im happy either way, so no preasure..."

Umm...why did you not fuck her when she told you to?

I'd have just said "Are you absolutly sure you want to do this?" as you pull away slightly. From my experiance women ALWAYS say yes in this situation, and you demonstraight that you are still respecting their wishes.

Thanks guys as always for the advice.

KA and Hollywood gave some excellent examples...I think I'll have the talk with her outside the mood.

7, I didn't fuck her because I respect her wishes.... the last thing I need is an emotional breakdown.

Ka wrote:

You have a choice to make as a man...talk it over with her again when your not in the moment, or do it when she asks and deal with the consequences if there are any.

randy1random wrote:

I'd have just said "Are you absolutly sure you want to do this?" as you pull away slightly. From my experiance women ALWAYS say yes in this situation, and you demonstraight that you are still respecting their wishes.

Look at these two statements, bro. I've been telling you, yes, there will be consequences, but at the same time, her fear is what she's really holding onto right now. By you breaking through THIS part of your relationship, YES the dynamics WILL change . . . but YOUR dynamics NEED to change in this relationship. She NEEDS to open herself FULLY up to you. How else ARE you going to live with her as you've planned to for the rest of your life? Bro, that INVOLVES sex. You said "not until there's a ring OR FULL COMMITMENT". Ok, so what's the problem? You two have a full commitment . . . right?

Good point Tripp,

Again - this comes down with me getting out of my comfortzone....pushing the issue when it needs to be pushed...

I'm just scared of the change in dynamics...cause change means it could always be bad.

Okay, Okay, Okay. Larock, she is inclined to get physical with you my man. You are her boyfriend, and you have to comprehend that you have the charm to make her put aside some of her fears, and go for the gusto(sex with you)

I understand that you want to respect her wishes, but you should go ahead and make this relationship a physical one, but I also realize why you don't want to. You maybe feeling that you have a girl, and you don't want to run her off by being a man who wants sex. Understood, but in this strategy lies consequences as well.

A story to display, that a commonality has brewed. Currently, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for almost a month, and to me this sheit blows. But, my girlfriend has been really losing her wits on some aspects of life. I don't know how her self esteem has taking such a nosedive. She really feels that she has no control over what occurs in her life. Now, I don't know if it's a cultural thing, my girlfriend is Indian ancestry, but she informs me on several of the hardships she faces in her own ethnic community. Im talking to her and trying to see what exactly has occurred in our relationship and the lack of sexual physicality. She claims that its not me, and I do concede that to be the case, because whenever I touch her she's so receptive to my touch, but I know she's dealing with stuff, so I throw it in the bag. All I care to convey at the moment

But, I shared this nugget for the sake of informing Larock that this can occur, even when you have attempted to do everything by the step by step book. This is an issue that my girlfriend and I have talked about, she knows where I stand. She knows that if this hasn't been rectified in a small window soon, than I have to mozy. But it's never easy stepping away from someone, something, some place that you love. Larock, you will figure this out bro. peace,lveo and succe SS

Thanks Hooks,

I was going to try and maybe push the issue a little with her but it didn't come to that. I cooked dinner, rented a movie, then we both kinda fell asleep on the couch...

I'll keep you guys updated as always.