...Is this beyond the line of fun?

Here is the background:

We all know I have issues in talking or
whatever with girls. Nothing new. Well I get a lot of "picking on" or
just "kidding around" with my co-workers at work. We do friendly
pranks, etc. I've been working there since 2001 so we have a
familiarity.

Well a few weeks back this girl messaged me on
facebook (Erin Brown). Said she liked my car, blah blah blah. We been
talking for a few weeks now about interests shit like that.

A
friend of mine, an old fellow, at work came up to me and told me that
Erin (he used her name specifically so I knew he was legit) - was
actually a made up person.

About
4-5 people from work, along
with their spouses and girlfriend are in on it. This Erin girl is a
made up profile. What I've been told is they took time to develop a
background story and steal about 20 some pictures of this different
girl's myspace page. Apparently the prank is
to keep this going - get me to go on a blind date with her - and
everybody at work be there with cameras to capture my "look on my
face..." Apparently 85% of the store knows - but those who do know
vowed not to tell me and ruin their plans.

They even went so
far as to purchase a pre-paid cell phone and one of the guy's
girlfriend (who I've never met) was going to be the voice on the other
line...

i'm a bit upset they would go through w/ this -
especially when it comes to this female issue. I get tons of flack for
not having a GF & stuff from them. This just compounds the issue.

I'd be more than a little upset, and seriously consider filing an HR complaint on something like this. I mean that is a SERIOUS invasion of privacy.

Dude that's pretty fucked up. Pranks are all well and good but that's taking it wayy too far. I've had similar things happen to me when I was in school. Sounds like you have at least one guy at work who cares enough to tell you the truth.

I'd recomend flipping it back on them. Argee to go on the date and then not turning up. Call 'her' when the date should have started and tell her you've met someone else. Then they're the ones who look like idiots, they've wasted their time effort and money. If you can get a real date for then even better. Don't let it show that it's bothered you. I'd tell the guy who told you not to tell the other guys but if he already has get him to tell them that he hadn't really told you and he was just trying to get them to stop the prank.

I agree its messed up, but this is a good thing...

I know, i know your confused, ill explain.

Working with people that long builds a connection that is difficult to explain, and most people confuse it with friends...in some cases those people do become real friends but the line between long time co-worker and friend is a hard one to define.

You know know where those people stand (friends dont do this kind of thing), so you dont have to invest the time or effort with them to build or maintain a "friendship", you know now they are simply co-workers...and that helps determine the appropriate reaction to what they did.

If friends had done this to you id say get them back or play along and ruin it for them etc...but they are co-workers and as such you have to decide 1 of 2 courses of action.

1) You call HR and report everyone involved, writing up a detailed letter of what transpired, who was involved and what they did. Then you deal with the consequences of reporting people to HR, which usually makes you an outcast at work.

2) You distance yourself from these people, you maintain a pleasant professional front...but you dont get friendly, personal, or joke around. You make it clear to them your unhappy with what they did, plain simple and to the fact. "What you guys did wasnt acceptable, friends wouldnt have done that to me, id like to keep things professional from now on seeing as how we still need to work together."

If they push it any further or even come close to crossing the line id revert to step 1, assuming its not past a year from the incident. If your questioned as to why you didnt report it immediately, your answer should simply be you knew that co-workes jobs, their livelihood was at stake, and at the time you where trying to remain professional and considerate.

The concept im trying to get across here is that you need to separate yourself from these people as much as possible. As much as the idea of revenge, saving friendships, etc may seem desirable, you have to realize that the best thing for your own self interest is to keep your job, not become more of an outcast at work, not alienate others, etc. To do that you need to be professional even though they were not...if this isnt possible i suggest you get your resume ready.

Also, you should have learned an important lesson from all of this, and thats to be much more weary of online interactions with "people" you dont know. Hypothetically even if this wasnt a fabrication of your co-workers, it could just be a solicitation. I had a "girl" message me on facebook with a seemingly normal "opener". I responded a bit weary and the first response seemed normal enough...i was still careful and suspicious and every response i got after that didnt make sense...she wouldnt answer my question or would go on about something unrelated.

My point is you need to determine someones motives when your communicating online. Be suspicious until they have proven trustworthy. A friend of mine who is a big time lawyer often says "Assume everyone is a criminal or a thief and youll be right the majority of the time".

Personally, I see a combinations of these things.

First of all, Larock is in the midst of his comfort zone. That's why he puts up with all this shit from the coworkers. He's comfortable with it. That's also why he has such a hard time getting out with friends, socializing, talking to girls, because ALL of that stretches him out of his COMFORT zone.

Second, since this is a grocery store, I could be wrong, but I doubt they have an HR department, unless it's a big chain.

Third, I definitely agree with randy on this point:

Quote :

I'd recomend flipping it back on them. Argee to go on the date and then not turning up. Call 'her' when the date should have started and tell her you've met someone else. Then they're the ones who look like idiots, they've wasted their time effort and money. If you can get a real date for then even better. Don't let it show that it's bothered you. I'd tell the guy who told you not to tell the other guys but if he already has get him to tell them that he hadn't really told you and he was just trying to get them to stop the prank.

This way you don't hurt yourself, plus you do make them look like fools.

Fourth, I also agree with Ka on this point:

Quote :

You distance yourself from these people, you maintain a pleasant professional front...but you dont get friendly, personal, or joke around. You make it clear to them your unhappy with what they did, plain simple and to the fact. "What you guys did wasnt acceptable, friends wouldnt have done that to me, id like to keep things professional from now on seeing as how we still need to work together."

Point blank, you're ALREADY an outcast. Sorry but it's the truth. If you WEREN'T they would never have done this to begin with. What do you do as an outcast? You show them you're better than that and that you can rise above. In THIS case, you pursue your goal of picking up a 9 or 10 and "allowing" that pick up be known. But, you have to work your way to a 9 or 10 right at this moment.

That, for you, at this moment, is the big leagues. We can help you get to the big leagues, but it won't happen tomorrow. Again, come see me for a weekend and your learning curve will dramatically improve. You know, Ka was around me one weekend over a year ago. I don't truly know how much it helped him, but I hope it did some. Plus the fact that I've gotten immensely better since he saw me in person. This isn't me bragging, but "testimony" from those around me regularly now. I used to be considered good . . . now I often hear that I'm a natural.

Anyway, enough about that . . . the point is, it's in your hands. How you handle this is in your hands. The direction you take for YOURSELF is in your hands. What will you do?

Well KA, it seems to be a bit of a weird situation.

A few of these people are married, most are single or have GFs. They throw parties, etc. They used to invite me (like most college friends) but they eventually stopped due to me either A) not showing up or b) making excuses. So we don't "hang out" - BUT - we have a virtual friend ship of sorts.

We play ps3 together. Call of Duty online, some Madden, etc. Now the joking and verbal kidding around still happens in the game. So it's not like they ever get real personal with me.

So are you saying I delete them off my "buddy list" to play?

Tripp,

This is a chain - and our HR department is very strict. So I'm sure I could cause some serious damage.

Yes I know you know your stuff. I'm not sure why I'm afraid or fearful. Maybe it's like going to bootcamp. Something I have to do, just not looking forward to doing it.

On the positive side . . . kudos to you for posting about this. I know THAT stretched you out of your comfort zone.

Personally, I DO think you should QUIT considering them your buds when you play games. Find other "friends". People that may actually end up BEING friends to you.

Whats up with people being childish these days...

I play PS3 online and some pc games...i have people on those "friends lists"...i can honestly tell you htere isnt a single one of them whos a real friend...not a single one of them i cant do without.

So in a sense, yes im telling you to seperate them from that side of your life, your personal/private life...because they do not value nor respect that aspect of you. The only thing they are entitled to now is the professional side of you.

Like i said id make it clear that what they did wasnt acceptable and that from now on youd prefer to keep things professional...if either you or them are unable to do this...id report them to HR and prepare a resume. Part of being an adult is dealing with the consequences of your actions. You report them and things will not be very comfortable at work...so being ready to leave if you have to is a good plan.

First off, this is very shitty terrain that your traveling into bud. All replies are very helpful and suggest that u make a decision.

I would really stick it to these summa of a bitches. I would try wholeheartedly to steal that guy's girlfriend who's the voice of the made up girl. That would be my nuclear option, but if nuclear options are off the table.

Then we used guided missiles at our adversaries. WE cut off all lines of communication that's not work related for awhile. We continue to work through our concerns with females. Stop sharing things with judgemental fucks who want to keep us toiling in the valley, as opposed to ascending to the mountaintop. Finally, we display behavior that clearly defines us
as a man who will not be mocked but respected for future reference. peace,lvoe and succe SS