The Opposite of ...

Sydrian,

I think I had the same realization this afternoon. I was so upset I wanted to punch my steering wheel.

Long story short, I was at Smoothie King getting a smoothie - they have these tables/chairs you can sit down and wait while they make your smoothie. Place is empty. I place my order and sit down. A Hooters girl walks in. The same process goes through my mind, "Damn she is hot. She works at Hooters. Eh she's probably a slut." - So I don't pay her any more attention.

She then places her order - and isntead of standing at the counter or whatever - she comes all the way to the back of the room to sit next to me.
My Red Flags go up - way up. Palms sweaty. Start to fidget in my seat. I think to my self "Just breath David. Just a person getting a smootie. Say Hi. Asked what she ordered. Start a conversation...its just you two. Your just being nice not asking her to have your kids..." - ...

...

Nothing. A few moments later - (felt like hours) - My smoothie is ready. I say thank you - and bolt out the door.

I was cursing my self all the way back to my car. I know I failed but at the same time I'm happy that I caught the thought process. Baby steps...riiight?

Hey man it happens to the best of us, i passed up opening 2 girls in the last 2 days, both at the gym...the one i discussed in another thread i passed up for 2 reasons, i coped out and because i know she was checking me out i can open her later. The other i have no excuse for, although she didnt give me the same looks the first did.

My problem is in social situations like the gym, school, work i have a very set frame of mind...which usually goes something like "Im here for x reason, not to make friends"...a very unhealthy attitude socially. Especially at the gym...school and work may be another story...but the gym can be a very social place if you let it.

Point being, not just in PUA, but in life, the biggest obstacles are ourselves.

Here's a "gym" story for me.

There's a hot brunette that works there and works out there. The first day I saw her she was working out. I noticed her but she was on the treadmill with headphones on and I was working out, so I didn't open her. Just noticed her ass, lol. And her face, cause she's cute.

Later, she was working and brought around a towel to me. Actually, she passed me once then picked up a towel and made another round, hesitated slightly, then asked if I wanted the towel. I took it and thanked her. I saw that there was a kid hanging around her. She acted like she was the mother searching for her kid and trying to keep an eye on him.

Well, mid workout my girl came and joined me. We finished the workout, then headed out. On the way out, I made a comment about "her" kid. She was telling me that the kid wasn't hers, but someone who is a member there also, but that she does have a kid of her own. She smiled and we both said we'd see each other later in there.

Later, when I saw her again, she was working out. I stopped and talked to her. We talked about the fact that "I made a fool of myself by thinking that kid was hers and making her look older than she was". Yes, I said that, in effect. We both laughed about it. She assured me it was ok, blah blah blah.