Sample of my new book

This is the very beginning of a new book I've been heavily focused on. Would like opinions about it from anyone, whether you read novels or not. I will be publishing this book in all major bookstores:

“What do you mean it’s frozen! I should have enough cash to buy this city! I’m not like the other billionaires on the Forbes list, 80% of mine is completely liquid!” Tom Garrison wanted to slam the phone down. His scowl intensified and his hand shook while it held the phone, white knuckles about to break the receiver right in his hand.

“I’m sorry Mr. Garrison. Every dollar is frozen. But don’t worry, you’re not the only one this has happened to. It seems that all of your colleagues are having the same problem. Derrick Plum even had to ride the public bus into the company this morning. His credit card wouldn’t work to put gas into his car and he had almost no cash on him.” Troy didn’t understand what was going on. As an account manager that handled the top accounts in the company, he had never seen anything like this before. Every single partner in the company had all their assets frozen. It’s like one of those times the government smells a scandal, swoops in to investigate, then saves the day.

“Like that’s supposed to make ME feel better! I don’t care what he had to do! He’s a minor partner anyway. I, on the other hand, have to fly to Europe to close a major deal! How am I going to be able to do that if my accounts are all frozen?!”

Troy sighed. What was he supposed to say to the man that founded this company 10 years ago and can make a split second decision about Troy’s job, whether to keep him or fire him?

“What would you like me to do, Mr. Garrison?”

“You’re supposed to know about computers. Figure out where the glitch is!” Garrison’s voice roared through the phone.

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

“You better do more than your best, or else!” Tom slammed the phone down into the cradle and heard a loud crack when it made contact. “Great, all the money is frozen and now my phone is broke!” His face went red with fury.

Troy gently sat the phone down in it’s cradle and looked at the computer screen. He had no idea of even where to start looking. He had never seen this happen to so many accounts all at once. As he scanned the screen he started noticing that not only was it the partners, but everyone who had at least a million dollars in assets was frozen. The names jumped right out at him and he recognized them immediately. Everyone that he personally handled accounts for. That wasn’t good. That would look like he was doing something with their money. That would cost him his job, and that was the last thing he needed right now, considering he was 6 months behind on the house payment, and the only reason they hadn’t foreclosed is because one of his clients is the bank manager that financed him. He was 3 months behind on both car payments, and the payments on the luxmobiles as he called them weren’t cheap, at $10,000 a pop each month. On top of all that, his wife was ready to leave him because she knew he was messing with his secretary, never mind the fact that she is messing with her own boss.

“Hey Troy, have you seen this stuff this morning? Is this crazy or what?” Jim, his sidekick, life long friend, and colleague just walks right into his office. He handles all of the accounts that ranged between $100,000 and 1 million dollars. He was the next step down after Troy.

“You mean you’re clients accounts are messed up too?”

“Messed up? That’s not even close to describing this. Every single penny is frozen.” He laughed and had a cocky smile on his face. “Now my clients get to see what it’s like to work for a living, like we have to. I’m glad now that I never invested my cash into the company like they want us to. I’d be in the same boat as them.”

“Yea, good for you,” Troy said halfheartedly, wondering how Jim managed to have the money he always seemed to have, when Troy’s commissions were always bigger because he had wealthier clients. He didn’t even look at Jim’s face, already knowing what his expression would be. They played sports and hung out together. Carefree times. A part of Troy wished he could have those carefree times back right now.

“So how bad is it with your clients?”

“Same.”

“I heard Mr. Garrison is ready to go on a firing spree because of this. He wants to hang somebody for this mess up, and quick.”

“Really.” How did they manage to remain friends all these years, Troy wondered.

“Yeah, Troy. He can’t get me, I’m sure, because there is no trace of me linked to this. For once, something I didn’t have a part of!”

“That’s good to hear.” Troy tried sounding interested, but the half-heartedness just wouldn’t go away. He had too much else on his mind to worry about what Jim was saying.



Tom couldn’t calm his heart rate down. He already had heart problems and his doctor had him popping pills like candy and this wasn’t helping. He dialed another number.

“Olivia,” he said as soon as the other end picked up.

“Yes Tom,” she responded as cheerful and eager as ever. By the sound of her voice, you’d never know anything was wrong, but Olivia was so good at knowing what was going on that she probably knew about this before anybody else in the building did. That’s one reason Tom has her as his secretary. He wouldn’t let anybody benefit from her skills if he could help it.

“How much cash do we have in the box out there?” Tom kept his emergency cash in a safe box in his secretary’s office. He figured if someone wanted to rob him, they would look in his office, not hers.

“There is half a million Tom.”

He always wanted to be prepared for every emergency. He taught Olivia that very well. Too bad he couldn’t teach his partners that. Unfortunately he had never expected an emergency like this.

“Well, that should get us through a few days anyway.” He breathed a slight sigh of relief. “Hopefully by then our computer geeks will have this mess straightened out. I don’t know why I pay them if they can’t stop this kind of thing.”

“Tom, before you go on a firing spree, I think you should know something…”

“Don’t have time right now Olivia. We’ll talk later today.”

She knew she couldn’t push him, because he was bullheaded. It would be his way regardless of how much she tried, but at least he was giving her his word to talk later today.

“Ok, but make sure we do talk today, and please, to save yourself some embarrassment, don’t fire anyone until you talk to me.”

“Ok, whatever you say Olivia.” He disconnected without another word.

She loved it when he did that. It made her feel like she was his boss, which would never happen, but she loved feeling that way anyway. At least she had some kind of say in what he did.

Tom did want to fire some people. He wanted to fire every computer guy in the building, but he knew that was his temper and that it wouldn’t solve anything. He walked to his window and took in the view to calm himself down a little. The view always did the trick. Looking out over the city from the 90th floor, he could see the entire city. It gave him the feeling that the city was all under his control, which it sort of was anyway, but most people didn’t know that. With his money and power, the government always gave him priority and usually did what he wanted. He did own this building though, which also housed the offices for 35 other companies, which paid him well in rent for their space. Now, he took a deep breath in as he looked out his massive imported windows that covered the entire wall facing the city. He of course had the biggest office in the building, but since he owned the building, why shouldn’t he? Not bad for a 45 year old guy with a wife and 3 kids. Now, if he could just get his assets unfrozen, his heart could start beating normally again.

Looking good so far.

I would have to agree with randy1random.
It's a good intriguing opening, keep up the good work!

My apologies for seeing this like three weeks opposite of early. LA, you know I have an inkling of Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Hurston in my veins,ahahahaha. LA, I like the it my man. The creative energy that it takes to create something, is worth the price of envy, not by me may I add. But, by someone who doesn't possess the skillset or patience to effectively write a novel, essay or small poem.

I can't wait to thoroughly, review the finished product, and by all means. Don't hesistate, to ask me my opinion on a setting, outcome or sentence needed to connect. peace,lvoe and succe SS

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

My apologies for seeing this like three weeks opposite of early. LA, you know I have an inkling of Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Hurston in my veins,ahahahaha. LA, I like the it my man. The creative energy that it takes to create something, is worth the price of envy, not by me may I add. But, by someone who doesn't possess the skillset or patience to effectively write a novel, essay or small poem.

I can't wait to thoroughly, review the finished product, and by all means. Don't hesistate, to ask me my opinion on a setting, outcome or sentence needed to connect. peace,lvoe and succe SS

Better watch what you say there, my man . . . I've been looking for a good, reliable editor

I'm actually on a run through of the book right now, cleaning it up. Then I will run through it again polishing with details some of the settings and emotions, etc., to really fill it out. Hopefully after that run through it will be ready to put on store shelves.