PUA Ready? Not Time?

When was that fatal day, the moment, when you reached your tipping point - sucked up the AA - and approached? I have been thinking of my own personal troubles, and maybe I'm not there yet. Mentally, inner game wise, self-confidence wise. I'm not ready.

I work in the Journalism field, so I'm able to talk to HBs all day, but with a purpose - so the AA is not there. It's my job. It's what I do.

I was at the grocery store today...2 HBs came behind me, seeming to look at the bagged salad - the same section I was in front of. The smell almost knocked me over. Just heavenly. I noticed, they were at least 8's...possibly a 9. I felt extremely uncomfortable. The ceiling was falling. Breathing became heavy. I couldn't take it - I just grabbed one, turned, and walked away.

Walking around the store some more I began to get upset...angry...almost pissed off at those girls. Why did they have to be there? I don't know if its a combination of being angry at them for letting me see them, or angry because I wasn't with them.

It feels, to be honest, like a diabetic kid in a candy shop. Why even see the goods if you can't have it?

In the check-out line I was thinking "Damn it. I blew it. I could have said something..."
After a few more minutes and I was in my truck driving home - it passed. I was back in my comfort zone. No more aggression. No more anxiety of the situation.

I feel that if I don't put my self out there, then the anxiety, the pressures, the angry emotions, they won't get triggered. Almost like the new Hulk movie where Ed Norton wears a Heart Beat watch, knowing if he gets about 200 HB per minute, he'll snap. Same analogy. I'm in my comfort zone as I type this - I'm chilled, relaxed. Am I getting laid? No. But am I content? Absolutely.

This realization is a double-edge sword. If I stay in my comfort zone forever - I'll always be content. At the same time - I'll always be sexless. Perhaps there is a ready point somebody has to cross, my own "Hulk moment."

The natural that I made about, a few posts back, we were at the gym together - shooting some hoops. I turned to get a drink of water and he was talking to some chick. Few minutes later, he went to get his cell phone. I was so pissed. My safe haven. The courts. He brings this tramp in here, in front of me, to game her? Instead of being productive...

I purposely didn't pick him on my team. Instead I took my anger and my frustration out on him and the other team. Had probably my best shooting game of the weekend. We blew them out. It validated the entire situation.

Just my thoughts on the past 48 hrs...

OK, first of all . . . those HB's you run into any day of the week . . . they really aren't HB's. They are just girls. Plain and simple. Girls with the same needs and emotions as you. The only reason guys look at them as HOT BABES is because they have made an effort to make themselves look that way, TO IMPRESS YOU, whether they will admit that or not. The fact is, the girls are on a pedestool in guys' minds, usually not in their own minds, until enough guys have them on a pedestool that they start believing their own hype.

So, they are normal people, like you and me, until you elevate them in your own mind. And, of course, they know you do this . . . and they like it. Not like it in the way that they want to get with you like it, but like it that someone thinks they are hot and it boosts their self-esteem.

LaRockStar wrote:

When was that fatal day, the moment, when you reached your tipping point - sucked up the AA - and approached? I have been thinking of my own personal troubles, and maybe I'm not there yet. Mentally, inner game wise, self-confidence wise. I'm not ready.

For me, there wasn't any particular day I can pinpoint. You're only not there yet, because you have yourself convinced that you aren't there yet. That way you can continue to take the easy way out bro.

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I work in the Journalism field, so I'm able to talk to HBs all day, but with a purpose - so the AA is not there. It's my job. It's what I do.

Some guys have a purpose of getting laid, cause they are sick of using their hands. Some guys have a purpose of finding a quality girl. Some guys have a purpose of building a harem. You're not finding your purpose because you are allowing yourself to remain content, as you've admitted in your post.

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I was at the grocery store today...2 HBs came behind me, seeming to look at the bagged salad - the same section I was in front of. The smell almost knocked me over. Just heavenly. I noticed, they were at least 8's...possibly a 9. I felt extremely uncomfortable. The ceiling was falling. Breathing became heavy. I couldn't take it - I just grabbed one, turned, and walked away.

Refer to my snippet at the top of this post . . .

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Walking around the store some more I began to get upset...angry...almost pissed off at those girls. Why did they have to be there? I don't know if its a combination of being angry at them for letting me see them, or angry because I wasn't with them.

Misplaced anger? The only real anger in this situation is anger at yourself because you are allowing yourself to remain content.

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It feels, to be honest, like a diabetic kid in a candy shop. Why even see the goods if you can't have it?

Who says you can't have it? Those girls fix themselves up because they WANT a guy to have the goodies. Of course, a guy has to have guts in order to be that guy. The only obstacle you had at that moment . . . was yourself bro.

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In the check-out line I was thinking "Damn it. I blew it. I could have said something..."
After a few more minutes and I was in my truck driving home - it passed. I was back in my comfort zone. No more aggression. No more anxiety of the situation.

Aaahhh, the comfort zone. Where you can continue to take the easy way out. You're afraid of the risk. You're angry at yourself. Not healthy bro.

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I feel that if I don't put my self out there, then the anxiety, the pressures, the angry emotions, they won't get triggered. Almost like the new Hulk movie where Ed Norton wears a Heart Beat watch, knowing if he gets about 200 HB per minute, he'll snap. Same analogy. I'm in my comfort zone as I type this - I'm chilled, relaxed. Am I getting laid? No. But am I content? Absolutely.

You're content? What exactly are you content with bro?

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This realization is a double-edge sword. If I stay in my comfort zone forever - I'll always be content. At the same time - I'll always be sexless. Perhaps there is a ready point somebody has to cross, my own "Hulk moment."

Again, what exactly are you content with bro?

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The natural that I made about, a few posts back, we were at the gym together - shooting some hoops. I turned to get a drink of water and he was talking to some chick. Few minutes later, he went to get his cell phone. I was so pissed. My safe haven. The courts. He brings this tramp in here, in front of me, to game her? Instead of being productive...

Instead of being productive . . . you were pissed at him . . . but in reality you were pissed at yourself. Listen, I'm as much of a workaholic as most. I spend, honestly, way too much time on different projects AND have way too many projects going at once most of the time, because I hate "not being productive", but make sure you're not misdirecting that anger. And what exactly was productive at this very moment? Playing a game? Again, where was that anger truly directed?

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I purposely didn't pick him on my team. Instead I took my anger and my frustration out on him and the other team. Had probably my best shooting game of the weekend. We blew them out. It validated the entire situation.

Just my thoughts on the past 48 hrs...

It may have validated that situation at that moment, but in the long run, that way of handling it will hurt you, and only you.

Not sure if you wanted this broken down in this way, and I'm not doing this to piss you off or run you off, but I had to share my thoughts on it.

You can only judge what you have with what you have had previously. If a guy has been a loser all his life and then he gets one friend, he will feel happy. But has he really felt happiness? Or did he just assume it was happiness because it was better than the previous state. The same old trues with relationships. Can you really say your in a good relationship when its your first or second girlfriend? Many people do. Many people get divorced.

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Am I getting laid? No. But am I content? Absolutely.

Your content because you haven't experienced anything better. I'm a content person but I'm always bettering my life, moving my feeling of contentment to a higher level. If I was me a year ago, I would not be content. However, I was then.

Your not content your miserable. Your staying in your comfort zone because your scared. How hard is it to talk to two girls shopping for lettuce? Right then you had a purpose to talk to them, asking them which they preferred. Your not trying to pick them up, your just doing a good job grocery shopping. And maybe you'll show them, while asking for the advice, how funny and attractive you are. And maybe, just maybe you'll get laid. But that's not going to happen if you keep blaming other people. Like during basketball, it's not your friends fault he can game girls; its your fault your too lazy to do it. I'm not trying to insult you, just saying what you need to hear.

Your inner game, confidence, and all that stuff isn't going to change if you don't do anything. How is reading PUA material but still having doubt going to make you more confident? It won't. But if you go use that PUA material-- no matter how uncomfortable you are-- and get results, either positive or negative, you have something to build upon. And when your positive successes start to happen, you have something to base your confidence off of. You have to start somewhere.

Honestly from your picture I thought you were naturally good with women. Stop making excuses you shouldn't be having any problems, there is a natural underneath there. You just have to unleash him... and he just may be green. Just like the movie, Hulk had to try REALLY HARD not to become green. Seems to me your trying REALLY HARD not to be green.... meaning, your trying your hardest to stay miserable. Go out and get green.

Trip, Hobbit - thanks for your input.
No you didn't scare me off - and I like the advice, however harsh it may be. The truth sucks, in all reality.

To finish answering your follow up questions -
I'm pretty content with life in general. I really shouldn't complain. Good job, going to get my degree in a few weeks, good health, great parents, etc. I guess, since no life is 100% perfect - me not having my choice of HB or AA or whatever inner game issues I have, I look at it like thats my one fault; and I shouldn't be really upset. A perfect analogy is Shaq's free-throw shooting. One of the most dominate bigmen in the history of basketball; yet he couldn't make his free-throws. Still won titles. If he was able to make FT's - he would be unstoppable. Nobody is perfect, I look at this as my crack in the sidewalk so to speak. All my friends who are able to game (some are into PUA others are not) - they have their own faults; financial, lack of a future jobs, etc. Almost like you can't have the entire pie, so what piece do you want to be missing...

The productive thing during basketball would be to just ignore the situation - and have a good few games with my friend, instead of taking my anger out and releasing it on the court.

Is it unhealthy? Sure - and it's not really getting me anywhere. The comfort zone is just always there - when I'm in it - I'm fine, relaxed, mellowed. When I'm out and thrown into a situation - HBs walking around - etc - I just want the feeling to go away. Almost like a retreat of sorts. So I go back to what makes that horrid feeling go away.

About my picture, it is actually my good friend's wife and her friend.

I'm not trying to stay miserable; I just don't like being uncomfortable, thus - I eject out of that situation.

I paid a good amount of coin to watch Rye, Kino, and Zig show me the game and this stuff isn't a faux. It's for real. I know the steps, the tools, etc. I'm just not exactly sure what's going to be my tipping point for me to snap and just go out there.

I get, and I believe we get, what you're saying. However, I once again refer to:

L.A. Tripp wrote:

OK, first of all . . . those HB's you run into any day of the week . . . they really aren't HB's. They are just girls. Plain and simple. Girls with the same needs and emotions as you. The only reason guys look at them as HOT BABES is because they have made an effort to make themselves look that way, TO IMPRESS YOU, whether they will admit that or not. The fact is, the girls are on a pedestool in guys' minds, usually not in their own minds, until enough guys have them on a pedestool that they start believing their own hype.

So, they are normal people, like you and me, until you elevate them in your own mind. And, of course, they know you do this . . . and they like it. Not like it in the way that they want to get with you like it, but like it that someone thinks they are hot and it boosts their self-esteem.

and Hobbit's post as well.

What it seems to me is that you are not internalizing what is being said/taught. Because what we are saying, if internalized, would wipe out your statements.

So what you are saying is, just because I know something doesn't mean I believe in it, so to speak?

How can I truly internalize it?

Personally D, I think you need to understand that it is a GOOD thing to not be content. It is a GOOD thing to want more and to want to improve those areas of your life that aren't up to par with what you would like. Sure, you could say, "Hey, that's my one flaw, so I'm ahead of the rest." Or you could say, "This is my one flaw. Everthing else is where I want it to be, so if I put some real effort into going through the discomfort of improving this ONE aspect and have the entire rest of my life to go back to and feel comfortable in when I'm not working on improving this ONE area, then I'd have a support mechanism to lessen the strain on myself, while I become as unstoppable as Shaq with the ability to FT!"

I think you can imagine that can't you? It's like coming home from a long hard day of work, which you see as being very worthwhile, because although it may at times be uncomfortable, it is helping you maintain the life you want to live by providing you with a wage and a job you ultimately like, regardless of the crappy days you may have. You come home from that job and you can relax and unwind; you can do the same thing with pickup my friend! It's like the first couple weeks at a new job where you have to plow through learning the territory and then after a while it's just what you do every day, but in the mean time, maybe you go and have a beer with your friends and talk about how the day went. Use the rest of your life, which you are quite happy with, as your way of working through those initial hurdles (because like we talked about, your AA isn't a wall, it's just a bit of a speedbump that you have to step over).

Now that you've pictured how you're gonna handle any discomfort you may feel at working through those first steps, you can picture what life will be like when you're unstoppable. You're gonna be like Shaq with the ability to free throw man! You're gonna have it all! You're gonna be the fvcking MAN! You'll have the job you love, the family you love, the degree you worked so hard for, your awesome friends and now you've got the ability to get any girl you desire! You're completely and utterly content and there is no, "Well, this is my crack in the sidewalk..." because you decided, "If I'm gonna have a sidewalk, I may as well have the best damned sidewalk that I can imagine!" YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE!

Keep that in your head and work through it man, because you know that you're capable of it, you just need to stop allowing yourself to accept mediocrity. Sure, everyone else has some sort of flaw that they grow to accept, but why not work towards the best possible version of yourself that you can imagine, the one that has it all.

The cold reading PUA's always talk about health, wealth, relationships to be happy. I personally follow Rye's advice daily. I improve on things I'm not proficient at and then when everything is pretty much good, I get a new skill or task. You can die tomorrow. You could be that dude getting his head chopped off by a ride in Six Flags. Why not make the most of each day, making your quality of life better and better?

I don't understand your comfort zone; seems more like avoiding the problem than being comfortable. Unless you plan on being a hermit, your going to have to run into girls. Your rationalizing your flaws to convince yourself you don't have a problem. You wouldn't have made this post if you didn't have a problem. You just need to stop protecting your image of yourself and admit you have flaws which need work, we all do. How do you plan on functioning successfully in the workplace/Earth if you get enraged every time you see a hot girl or a guy flirting with a girl?

Just because you know something doesn't mean you *know* something. A person knows he can die in an instant... but he *knows* right after a gun was held to his head with the intent to kill. Your avoiding your problem as an attempt to be able to rationalize it. Going up to girls and failing miserably is a lot harder to rationalize than just blaming other people and not approaching girls.

LaRockStar wrote:

So what you are saying is, just because I know something doesn't mean I believe in it, so to speak?

How can I truly internalize it?

That's exactly right. Rye and Hobbit have made some great points.

You have to, have to face your weaknesses and admit that they are there and that it's something that needs to be changed. You internalize your knowledge by actually putting it to use. It is transferable to the field, but it's not EMBEDDED yet. Field experience, life experience, living it, causes that to happen. Just like with your job. It's now embedded in you, but it wasn't at first. Your knowledge that you've gained is there, but it's not embedded. With some practice, it will become ingrained and just "be there". And, once you've hit the other side . . . you'll realize the journey to get there wasn't that bad after all.

Bro, I used to have sweaty palms and shake and all kinds of crap just from THINKING about talking to one girl, much less more than one, MUCH LESS having some guys with them. Now . . . it just flat out doesn't matter. And I realize that all my fears I had back then . . . they weren't anything in reality. Deep down inside you are a social person. And in your case, you may have to dig deep to let that side out, but it's there. And it's wanting out.

Valid points have been made in previous posts, so I won't intentionally rehash any tones as seen in those posts. Rockstar, that's the name you chose. When I think of a rockstar, I think of a person who is gleaming from ear to ear with a stark stave for attention and by gawd gets that needed attention. A person of unbridled charm and cool. A person's whose inner beliefs are transferred to all surroundings they enter. Those aren't all my thoughts of a rockstar in entirety but I think we all comprehend where it could be headed.

We all have fears that can be social, physical, mental etc. That's not the basis of this discussion, but is a good starting point. I think it would be a good idea for you to write about your fears and the social malfeasment you will personally feel by interacting with members of the opposite sex. The gist of it is this, you have to feel confident that you can win everytime in life in general, including getting the busty redhead(there it goes again my affinity for busty redheds) let's move on. You must follow the way of removing of those blockades from imprisoning the green hulk creature inside of you bro( refer to hobbit's post if you feel that it's unrelated) you have that social guy in you, please for sake of your own sanity and content let's unleash the green rockstar. peace,lvoe and succe Ss

You fear your own potential man, and thats the greatest thing that will hold anyone back!

I dont care how much material you have. I dont care how good you are at the after approach side of this practice.

You arent worth a damn in the field if you dont get over your approach anxiety. I mean ask yourself this question bro, If you arent going to approach women why are you even here?

Icebreaker wrote:

I dont care how much material you have. I dont care how good you are at the after approach side of this practice.

You arent worth a damn in the field if you dont get over your approach anxiety. I mean ask yourself this question bro, If you arent going to approach women why are you even here?

I do appreciate all of your advice and help with the situation. Really. You guys should be wearing life jackets.

As to your question IceBreaker... I'm here because I am fascinated with the PUA game. If somebody knocked on my door, and told me that I could - with a social formula - destroy the hardest thing in my life - ever, I would soak up all the knowledge I could. Perhaps I miscalculated just how difficult it was.

Perhaps you miscalculated, perhaps not, but things worthwhile usually are harder than we expect them to be.

LaRockStar wrote:

Icebreaker wrote:

I dont care how much material you have. I dont care how good you are at the after approach side of this practice.

You arent worth a damn in the field if you dont get over your approach anxiety. I mean ask yourself this question bro, If you arent going to approach women why are you even here?

I do appreciate all of your advice and help with the situation. Really. You guys should be wearing life jackets.

As to your question IceBreaker... I'm here because I am fascinated with the PUA game. If somebody knocked on my door, and told me that I could - with a social formula - destroy the hardest thing in my life - ever, I would soak up all the knowledge I could. Perhaps I miscalculated just how difficult it was.

You can do it man. You really can. Thats the part you have to relize. It is really not the hardest thing in your life ever. We can preach the choir all day. Just go out man. Dont avoid approach anxiety conquer it.. It should be fun like a roller coaster man. Sure its a scary climb but once you get going its awesome. Then practice repetition just like the roller coaster when you get done its still a little scary but remembering how fun it was you keep riding it for some reason. Again and again and again eventually that roller coaster isnt as fun so you ride a new one. The thrill shouldnt go away. If it does then you take a break. But dont start breaking before you start. Your boss isnt going to be too impressed when the first thing you tell him is you need a cigarette break.

I really really really hope you get over this man because you do have potential and its just wasted if you dont get out there. You could be elite but you have to conquer this. Once you do you can start working on your other problems.

LaRockStar, got an interesting insight for you. I just talked to Steve P on the phone and he made a comment about AA. Are you ready for this? It's just an illusion. Got that?

An illusion...

Interesting concept.

Definition: An illusion is a distortion of the senses, revealing how the brain normally organizes and interprets sensory stimulation. While illusions distort reality, they are generally shared by most people.

Just like women with pseudocyesis. They believe they are pregnant, so their body acts like it. Mind is truly over body.
To say that AA is an illusion, and doesn't exist - may be true - but the symptoms make it real. Sweaty palms. Heavy breathing. A sense of... "WTF am I doing..." followed by "running away in the opposite direction..."

LaRockStar wrote:

An illusion...

Interesting concept.

Definition: An illusion is a distortion of the senses, revealing how the brain normally organizes and interprets sensory stimulation. While illusions distort reality, they are generally shared by most people.

Just like women with pseudocyesis. They believe they are pregnant, so their body acts like it. Mind is truly over body.
To say that AA is an illusion, and doesn't exist - may be true - but the symptoms make it real. Sweaty palms. Heavy breathing. A sense of... "WTF am I doing..." followed by "running away in the opposite direction..."

It's not natural for a person to run towards gunfire either. However, the military has ways to train their recruits to do just that. To run toward the threat instead of facing it. It takes a lot of practice to teach them that. They know their emotions are going to try and mess them up, so they push through them and fight! Same difference here. You can get past this, but you have to push through and be willing to fail.

JSmooth wrote:

You can get past this, but you have to push through and be willing to fail.

EXACTLY like those athletes that you report on . . .