Poems by Par

I enjoy writing these poems/short stories of seduction and love..Please don't be afrais to comment on them I need feedback. Perhaps one day I can have a book. Thanks!! -Par

Wow, gogo gadget poem! LOL thats alot of material, good stuff. I have a few of my own but they are dark and angry, so ill put them in my own section one day maybe.

Good stuff I have to admit. I to have my own small archive. Lol its all either ramblings or AFC bullshit =P

I have poem I'd like to share too..."Here I sit so broken hearted, had to $HIT and only..." Okay I'm joking, seriously Par those are really good, and very deep.

JSmooth wrote:

I have poem I'd like to share too..."Here I sit so broken hearted, had to $HIT and only..." Okay I'm joking, seriously Par those are really good, and very deep.

Poetry is merely deep, its only deep to those who don't understand the concept behind the words. I know youre a smart man and shouldn't be saying that. I appreciate the compliment and thank you kind sir.

I'm not much a fan of the sensual (not sexy, but as in "from the senses") and the bodily elements that most of them seem to incorporate. Not sure why, just never sat well with me--the phrasing always feels empty to me (not just with your poem but with most that follow these themes). I enjoyed the alliteration many of your poems seemed to have.

My favorites were Discombobbled Moments pt.1 and 2 and the last one.

I liked Discombobbled Moments because it was simple, short, and choppy, which gave it a clipped feeling that was sort of awkward yet carried a lot of emotion. It reminded me a lot of how a junior high couple trying to me romantic would be like--bursting with naive passion, but totally unsure of what to do. I think we forget what those days of early love were like. The end was perfect.

EDIT: Oops, and just as I posted that I looked up and saw that that was a Smashing Pumpkins song. I imagine Billy Corgan doesn't need my praise, haha.

Anyway, I'm certainly no literary critic and I don't read nearly as much poetry as I'd like or ought to, so take my evaluation as you will.

I like to hear peoples thoughts and opinons. i am open to peoples opinions!! Let's me know how their mind works!!! Thanks!!!

I am sure Billy Corgan doesn't need praise, he just needs to get back together to form smashing pumpkins and just rock out like he used to do!!!

Thank you for your eval...I look forward to more.

All your poems are very distinct and I just wonder how you came up with all of them

Well, I used to write poems alot, back in the day, so a couple are just new from this year. The poems were written when I was going through compromised times in my life. I felt when I was i a certain social evironment that I needed to express myself by other means than what I was there for initially. So, I began to write, and that's what I came up with. I used to write short stories as well, but through my destructive phase, I destroyed those that really meant anything, but also glad I did because I am not the same person I used to be. It really depended on my mood through those trying times. I figure that writing is more healthy than being in the state I was in some time ago. You should watch for more work I will put on here......Im planning on writing a short story...

Good luck on the story....make sure you let me know what you got.....I have also been writing my own....

Awesome!!!

Do you plan on posting it on here? I should be done working on it by the end of the week. So yay!!

Yeah, I will as soon as I get more time........

The life I lived as an AFC is the best part....all my undercover work is amazing.....

What can I say, I am in love with Paramour. A woman who can open up her mind and expound on those feelings is a woman of gold to me, I am really a big softie, or lil softie in my physical case.

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

What can I say, I am in love with Paramour. A woman who can open up her mind and expound on those feelings is a woman of gold to me, I am really a big softie, or lil softie in my physical case.

Aww, thanks fortune.....

I was bored and I thought that you might be sick of making up all these poems so I made one for you to describe what I think of you so here it goes: Theres one among the crowd that makes everyone aroused, not because of her smile or the way she looks but for her mind and banter which always took many aback who couldn't strike back with the same wit and tact, so to let you know she probably be one of the coolest girls you'll ever know and all I know of her name is Par and that's all I need so far.

Chris Badass wrote:

I was bored and I thought that you might be sick of making up all these poems so I made one for you to describe what I think of you so here it goes: Theres one among the crowd that makes everyone aroused, not because of her smile or the way she looks but for her mind and banter which always took many aback who couldn't strike back with the same wit and tact, so to let you know she probably be one of the coolest girls you'll ever know and all I know of her name is Par and that's all I need so far.

That was nice Chris......catchy....

thank you

Par, it's the honest truth, and of course I made you blush a bit. I am a hottie. Chris, you are dead-on with that description in prose, keep writing my man.

Fortunehooks1 wrote:

Par, it's the honest truth, and of course I made you blush a bit. I am a hottie. Chris, you are dead-on with that description in prose, keep writing my man.

You can say that on a forum, but can you say it to my face if given the chance?

It's not that I feel like the norm school girl all giddy and stuff, but I am touched that you guys say such nice things!!! Thank You!

Para, let's not get into a battle of banter wits and mindstates. I have no doubt that given the chance, I will be able to muster something. Peace,LVoe, and SUcce SS

Last night I dreamed that I was dreaming of you
And from a window across the lawn I watched you undress
Wearing your sunset of purple tightly woven around your hair
That rose in strangled ebony curls
Moving in a yellow bedroom light
The air is wet with sound
The faraway yelping of a wounded dog
And the ground is drinking a slow faucet leak
Your house is so soft and fading as it soaks the black summer heat
A light goes on and the door opens
And a yellow cat runs out on the stream of hall light and into the yard

A wooden cherry scent is faintly breathing the air
I hear your champagne laugh
You wear two lavender orchids
One in your hair and one on your hip
A string of yellow carnival lights comes on with the dusk
Circling the lake with a slowly dipping halo
And I hear a banjo tango

And you dance into the shadow of a black poplar tree
And I watched you as you disappeared