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 Friends who are always negative

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PostSubject: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 14, 2010 10:32 am

Hey guys, I just want to see what you guys think about my situation. Since ive started reading about PUA I have kept it all to my self, I just have one friend that knows about it (hes not very into it he always has oneitis cases). The reason I told him and not the rest is, because the rest are very judgmental and they will always put things down, for example I have a friend who slouchs all the time and our female firend told him to walk up straight like me and he replied with why im not a douchebag only douche bags do that (obviously hes being an idiot). Also, if I try something new which I love (for example I bought a DJ system cause I love music and wanted to learn) they will put it down like nice job wasting all that money on something you don't even know how to use. Lastly, the one thing that irritates me the most of it all. Im affriad to approach girls around them because if I get shot down I will not hear the end of it. Ive talked to girls when their around and all I notice is them standing somewhere laughing and making fun of me. I feel they are seriously holding me back and I think id have much less AA if they weren't such idiots. I know a lot of you guys will say ditch them find new friends, but if I ditch them I wont have anything left and I really cant seem to find new friends to replace them. What are you opinions on this?

Thanks
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MattJacks
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 14, 2010 7:49 pm

ive got some friends who do the same.
some of those friends i dont talk to girls when they are around, its just to much bother to explain why i want to chat to girls.

other friends i will still talk to girls and if i dont do their opinion of success i take their jibs and go off and meet someone and then challenge them to up it or shut it.
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Male Number of posts : 315
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 14, 2010 11:58 pm

So ignore it?
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L.A. Tripp
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Male Number of posts : 4766
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Location : Evansville, IN
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 2:28 am

What do these "friends" give to you? In terms of value? I can see they suck the life out of you, so what do they bring to the table?

In short, your personal mindset is really messed up, and your friends are only making it worse. You have yourself believing that you cannot make any new and better friends. Which means you don't believe you're worth better friends, friends that will actually support you and build you up.

This mindset is contagious (misery loves company) and girls will definitely notice this as well, thus turning OFF their attraction for you.
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 3:37 am

Tripp man you are so right, these dudes are really lowering my value they drop my confidence levels, because when im with them I know my value is being lowered. What do they bring to the table? Absolutely nothing at all besides making me look bad. Ive read over and over and over that your friends are a image of you or some crap like that and I agree they do make me look bad, and I really do need some new friends, but like I said im not much of a social person, because I have OCD and motor tics (involuntary muscle movements) which do drop my confidence levels like crazy they make me uncomfortable talking to people in general not just women. I mean im not a bad looking dude ive had girls into me many many many times throughout high school and college, but theres still a little nagging voice in my head that makes my my confidence levels drop due to my neurological problems. My friends add on to my low confidence levels. That's honestly why its hard for me to meet new people im just not comfortable. I just feel safe sticking around these current friends.
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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 6:24 am

I've got a friend that died not being much older than you. When he was alive, he had a bad stuttering problem. So bad it was annoying. BUT he didn't let that stop him. He made friends anyway. People actually LOVED him. He was a GREAT guy to hang around.

You've GOT to see yourself differently.
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 7:10 am

Im sorry to hear about your friend tripp, Now that I think of it I too had a friend who had a stuttering problem and now that I look at him he has a lot of friends I see what your saying. Its not that I think others will not accept me because of what I have, its just my mind tells me they will and it holds me back.
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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 7:21 am

You're not giving yourself a chance. Which comes down to your own mind, once again.
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 9:06 am

Yeah I get you. Now here is my question how can I change that? How can I be more confident? I have already started losing weight and working out twice as hard as before, I have seen a lot of improvement and lost 15 pounds. Physically I feel good about my self. Ive read a few inner game articles and I always hear make a list of your positive qualities and always repeat them to yourself I was curious if there is another method of improving your inner game?
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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 15, 2010 10:53 am

The key is to KNOW your own value. Know what you have to offer to yourself and to others. Know your qualities, your strengths AND weaknesses. Be honest with yourself about yourself. You have to know who you are AND then accept who you are. Which means you HAVE to dig deep into yourself. You have to know what makes YOU tick, what YOUR passions, desires, and dreams are.
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Male Number of posts : 315
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PostSubject: Re: Friends who are always negative   Friends who are always negative I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 16, 2010 11:02 am

Yeah I get you.
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