off and on wierd bull shit

okay, usually there is not relationship advice here but we are not in a relationship any more

okay i have been sooooo up and down with my idk what to call her, recently she broke up with me or break or whatever its all the same. she says its because she is scared/ is almost 18 and want to not feel so serious/ because she thinks it will help with our fighting. okay, i realize as much as she says she is always honest with me i know that this is bullshit...

However we are friends with beneits and still trys to act as she is my gf, like talks all the time, jealousy, and a little controling... and still says she loves me all the time etc. Well, as much as i want to think this is not true but i cant help but thing she is doing this just so she can do things with whoever she wants and not have it be classified as cheating, while having the same sorta relationship with me. could this be true. or what could it be if not... any suggestions would be great thanks

ACE: thanks...

ACE, your too young for this kinda heat...beleive me.

Your at the point 17/18/19 where people start their lives, going to college, working full time, even moving away from the comfortable place they grew up in. This brings alot of anxiety. It is not uncommon at all for people to feel like this at that time, to try and make things less serious before they go (physically or metaphysically).

You guys may have issues, but your both young, no need to argue, fight, or get mad...in the grand sceme of things, if you think about it, she probalby wont even be a part of your life 10 years from now.

The best thing to do is enjoy what you have, do what makes you happy, and have no regrets.

Girls will do this type of thing your whole life, want space but chat you up 24/7, say their not ready to date then date some other guy, etc...The only thing you can do is rise above that, lay down the way things are, and if it doesnt fly then move on.

For instance, she wants space...then give her just that. Dont be available 24/7, dont respond every time she calls or texts...go days without interacting if you got other stuff to do. If she mentions it, tell her your giving her the space she asked for.

You think she wants the space to date other guys, then date other girls if you want. She cant mad, as you put it she "broke up" with you...if she says anything tell her your not dating each other anymore so you dont see the problem.

You have to decide what you want from her, make it clear to her, and if she doesnt agree to it move on.

Thanks Ka, i appriecate the time you took to give me a hand. what you said helped me out.

Ka wrote:

For instance, she wants space...then give her just that. Dont be available 24/7, dont respond every time she calls or texts...go days without interacting if you got other stuff to do. If she mentions it, tell her your giving her the space she asked for.

You think she wants the space to date other guys, then date other girls if you want. She cant mad, as you put it she "broke up" with you...if she says anything tell her your not dating each other anymore so you dont see the problem.

You have to decide what you want from her, make it clear to her, and if she doesnt agree to it move on.

Your welcome, just to clerify what i meant her in these 2 paragraphs...

Girls often say they want something, but what they really want is the in between or the middle ground. They are either too nice to tell you that or dont really know what they want themselves. They will say they want space, but really what they want is to be friends. They will say they arent ready to date, but what they are doing is trying to put you down easy.

In scenarios like this you have to put them in their place, let them know you see through the bullshit and that it doesnt bother you....while at the same time making it clear that the smoke and mirrors thing wont fly.

So in the situation where they want "space", you give them that. They dont get space physically but not emotionally...in other words if they want space you give it to them all around. When they complain about it you remind them it was their idea and your giving them what they asked for.

You have to keep in mind that girls tend to think emotionally and guys tend to think in more logical terms...so girls will flip flop or be in a "grey" area more often then not....what you have to do as a guy is lead them towards the emotional responses that get you what you want.

yeah, she told me she wanted didnt know what she wanted and didnt want to date anybody. which i could see from her because she likes a lot of change and does the opposite of what she is told to do whether its actually what she wants or not. Right now she is more of a friend that i kiss and make out with or whatever.

on the brighter note i am looking to pick up this girl in my survey of anatomy an phys.. class. So!!! we'll see how that goes.

Thanks