L.A. Tripp Admin
Number of posts : 4766 Age : 51 Location : Evansville, IN Reputation : 19 Registration date : 2008-03-14
| Subject: Synopsis for a book I'm heavily working on, want opinions Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:55 am | |
| “What if the wealthiest people in the world were suddenly at the mercy of and depending on the poor/broke people of the world? What if, after the government establishes a central computer system that is linked all over the world so the government has more control over the computer system, a computer virus was unleashed into the system and everyone making $50,000 or more a year had all of their assets including their cash in the bank froze so they had no access to it? And it turned out that a small group, or one person even, in the poor/broke class was smart enough, computer savvy enough, to be able to figure out how to get ride of the virus, but they wouldn’t do it because they wanted the wealthy to see how it is to live like the poor. Once the rich run out of pocket cash, what will they do? They can’t get money from their bankers, because all of their assets are frozen.” (synopsis)
Is this catchy? Want opinions, whether good or bad. This is the seed of the blurb that will be on the cover of the book. | |
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randy1random Tripp's Vault Member
Number of posts : 414 Age : 38 Location : Bath, England Reputation : 3 Registration date : 2008-08-04
| Subject: Re: Synopsis for a book I'm heavily working on, want opinions Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:46 am | |
| Very interesting concept. I'd definitely stop to read the first few pages if I saw it in a shop. | |
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Hobbit PUA
Number of posts : 239 Age : 35 Location : New Orleans, LA Reputation : 0 Registration date : 2008-03-23
| Subject: Re: Synopsis for a book I'm heavily working on, want opinions Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:23 am | |
| “What if the wealthiest people in the world were suddenly at the mercy of those impoverished people they used to look down upon? After the government establishes global central computer system which connected businesses, someone released a computer virus which froze the bank accounts of every individual making $50,000 a year or more. Amidst the financial chaos, a young man from the lower socioeconomic class emerges with the answer of how to rid the system of the virus. This once impoverished youth decides that he will force the wealthy to live their lives as the poor. What results is a downward spiral of a class used to living in excess. And a once empowered youth having to deal with the consequences of his choice."
This would be my proposed proof read (its hard to do without track changes, but I just tried to quickly tight it up).
One thing I've noticed form the two samples is that you need to stop making your sentences so complex. If you have three ideas, make two or three sentences, don't keep using commas, to extend the sentence on forever. Also, stray away from passive voice. | |
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-vH rAFC
Number of posts : 48 Age : 34 Location : Vancouver Reputation : 0 Registration date : 2009-03-03
| Subject: Re: Synopsis for a book I'm heavily working on, want opinions Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:11 pm | |
| It's catchy. I write reviews for our the paper press at my college on short stories and on occasions, novels, so I read a lot of synopsizes. This looks like a book I would read if I were to come across a synopsis like this.
-vH | |
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MattJacks Tripp's Vault Member
Number of posts : 806 Age : 34 Location : Sydney, Australia Reputation : 3 Registration date : 2008-04-07
| Subject: Re: Synopsis for a book I'm heavily working on, want opinions Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:37 pm | |
| the synopsis sounds good. the story reads pretty well. | |
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| Subject: Re: Synopsis for a book I'm heavily working on, want opinions | |
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