Strong, silent...alpha?

It seems like all of the people depicted as the most successful PUAs are the fun, talkative, outgoing, center of attention, life of the party types. They might have different styles regarding this--some are entertainers, some are jocks, some are playboys--but they are all depicted essentially as extraverts.

but where are the strong, silent alpha males? The ones that tend to be quiet at the party, sipping his drink, yet radiate strength, power, and wordless confidence? The man that doesn't say much and doesn't say it loudly, but when he does speak all the listeners are instantly riveted to what he says, because it always carries a power with it, and is sure it be important. A man who rarely smiles with his mouth, but if the woman looks carefully, she can see an ocean of emotion in his eyes.

This is undeniably a fantasy of women as well--so I wonder why it is not emphasized and why it doesn't seem to fit in at all with the methods developed by various people. This figure plays to an essential draw of the female psyche--mystery. This guy clearly has something hiding under there, but what is it? Will she ever know?

I'd like to know what people have to think of the fact that PUA systems tend to neglect this role in favor of more brash obviously colorful characters, and if this personality could be successfully integrated into a method, does it need to follow principles of its own, or is this an image that is simply propogated culturally, but is practically ineffective in wooing women.

Fiction wrote:

I'd like to know what people have to think of the fact that PUA systems tend to neglect this role in favor of more brash obviously colorful characters, and if this personality could be successfully integrated into a method, does it need to follow principles of its own, or is this an image that is simply propogated culturally, but is practically ineffective in wooing women.

Excellent question Fiction. Actually, the mysterious part of this type is indeed integrated into others, such as the bad boy. One thing about the colorful characteristics is that most women need to see the colorful guys in order to have their attention drawn. However, colorful doesn't mean the loudest guy in the room, just the most interesting. For example . . . watch the movie Hitch. He's not always the loudest person in the room, but he knows how to get the attention of whatever target he has. Sure, it's a movie character, but the fact is, what Will Smith portrays in the movie . . . WORKS.

Alphas aren't always the loudest guys or the most outgoing guys, but as you said, when they do speak, people will definitely listen. The true alpha will ALWAYS get the attention of the room, and get it easily, if he wants it. Also, the true alpha will ALWAYS have the attention of those in his immediate vicinity because they KNOW he's the leader, whether he's speaking or not. Hence, the strong quiet type that you speak of. So yes, what you are talking about could definitely be integrated and many times is.

Think of if this way, it comes back to the principle I've talked about with the two layers of pick up. The core and the veneer. The type you talk about, the integration of that type, would happen in the veneer.

BODY LANGUAGE! Undervalued, but people who know it do all the things you say. They are usually more quiet, introverted, but when they master it they don't have to talk to convey the information necessary. You can choose your words more carefully and when you speak, it carries more weight. It's almost a cause and effect relationship, if you speak less, people listen more, but you still need to back it up with social proof. You can be the life of the party, or you can be its master. I've never been an extrovert or even Alpha. In most situations I'm chosen as an assistant to the captain, an adviser. It's been like this my entire life. I guess people notice that I'm not quite a full blown leader because I'm fairly reserved, but still have leadership qualities. Without saying much I attain this role often in sports. It's not a bad place to be in at all. Second to the leader gets attention and responsibility off of you and allows you to think and do as you please. It can give you wingman qualities where you can shine or where you can silently lead. I've said this before, most of us aren't going to be Alpha but it doesn't mean we'll lead lives where we appease him either. Embrace Beta qualities, there is good in everything, even if it means you can quietly operate from the shadows.