It ain't about you

This girl I've picked up, army wife, I talk to her a lot. I see her some as well. Me and her are very close now. Well, today as I was talking to her on the phone, I had brought up her training again. Here and there I drop things for her to learn. I haven't dug in deep yet, but I'm easing her in, between our banter and general talk. It's something that interests her as well, and she loves watching people. Anyway, I brought it up and told her I'm thinking about getting more heavily into it this weekend. I also told her that since me and her are friends, she can help me, in the field, to find the girl I'm really looking for . . .

Ahem . . . "what are you looking for" came the sexy voice on the other end.

Ahem . . . "this ain't about you" I said in return.

"What are you looking for" she said again. "Tell me."

Yeah, she was instantly qualifying herself, but as I relayed this little snippet to Juice, he thought it would be good for me to share this part with everyone else. Especially the "this ain't about you" part. So, hopefully someone else can benefit from this as well. And, do remember guys, it's all in the delivery, how you say it.

"You can help me in the field, to find the girl I'm really looking for." Tripp
"What are you looking for?" Army Wife
"This ain't about you." Tripp
"What are you looking for, tell me." Army Wife
"This ain't about you, it's about me finding who I'm looking for." Tripp
"Tell me what you're looking for." Army Wife
"You're not letting this go are you?" Tripp
"No, I'm not." Army Wife
"Yes you are. I'm not ready to tell you yet." And I snipped the thread.

Lovely.

I seem to catch myself yesterday with a girl who asked me what I looked for in a girl. I didn't see it as a qualifyer !

HAHA, yea I see where she is trying to take the frame, bot nonetheless, your army wife doesn't realize what she is truly doing. (which is why WE are naturals).

Now that you have snipped the thread, that will leave her wanting more. Naturally, perhaps I need to talk to her.Apparently she doesn't know any better. LMAO.

See, where you said:
"it aint bout you", i would have turned that around with: "well, its not bout you either, so if its not bout me or you, then what is your point in talking then"? lmao.....or something else wittier to say....

The one thing in bantering though, you must find your balance. You start going at her with heavy digs then you have potential of blowing her out. GAME OVER!!

hence....push/pull. So, if a girl has a frame just as strong, you've got your challenge, which leaves you bantering on and on and on.......IF, her frame isn't that strong then you can very well leave her 'feeling' inadequate, just because she can't keep up with you...which sucks.

Paramour wrote:

"it aint bout you", i would have turned that around with: "well, its not bout you either, so if its not bout me or you, then what is your point in talking then"?

CLICK. That's the sound of me hanging up the phone with her.

Then she either loses the privilege of talking to me . . . or SHE calls ME back . . . which she would do. But yeah, normally, if a girl knows what she's doing, that would be an option. However, most guys don't have my frame either.

As far as the rest of your post . . . very much on the money, so guys take it to heart.

Vedere wrote:

Lovely.

I seem to catch myself yesterday with a girl who asked me what I looked for in a girl. I didn't see it as a qualifyer !

It's definitely a qualifier, and a very strong one bro.

I'm lost. Are we saying she was trying to qualify or make you qualify? And if its the latter, how is asking what you look for in a girl qualifying? It's different than saying "I'm looking for a girl with good personality, outlook, and energy"?

No, she was trying to qualify to me. However, at that moment, I didn't tell her what I was looking for, so she couldn't. But, we talk everyday, so there are a few things she knows about so far, lol. We hang out, dance, have fun, I've closed her in more than one way. So, yeah, she's definitely interested.

Tripp, that was a splendid way to converse with a young lady. She was oodles, and boodles trying to figure out if she can become what you are looking for, this sheit was wonderful.

L.A. Tripp wrote:

No, she was trying to qualify to me. However, at that moment, I didn't tell her what I was looking for, so she couldn't. But, we talk everyday, so there are a few things she knows about so far, lol. We hang out, dance, have fun, I've closed her in more than one way. So, yeah, she's definitely interested.

Prime example of push/pull. See guys, tripp isn't ready for her to qualify herself in SOME ways because then, if you do that, then it's not fun and interesting anymore,which means she could lose interest and get bored...... BUT....in a previous situation I am familiar with, I noticed that if you escalate too much in an accumalated time that things can go downhill. Not to be negative, I just learn from my experiences and others.