How To Cheat On Your G/F or Wife . . .

How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend Or Wife

It always amazes me to see how many articles and products people buy or read out there to catch your significant other cheating. I mean, realistically… if these are such BIG secrets… why would ANYONE put them online for other people to see.

Now, I don’t condone cheating… but I couldn’t resist writing this tongue-in-check post.

Here goes.

Rule number one: Before you start, Google “How to catch my boyfriend cheating”… read all of the articles and relevant information about how guys get caught. Go to YouTube and watch boyfriends getting caught and then…

… DON’T do any of this stuff.

Now granted, some of this stuff is counterintuitive right? Right.

Think about it… if I’m a CROOK… and I’m gonna go rob a bank, the first thing I would do is go find out how all of these people were getting caught.

Rule number two: Go to Google and type in “How to cheat on your girlfriend” and…

… don’t do any of that stuff either!

Hey, this is the INTERNET. Your girl is probably reading the EXACT same stuff you are so if start doing any of it, she’ll probably figure you out. Chicks are smart like that.

Hell, she’s probably reading THIS POST RIGHT NOW. Shame on you.

Rule number three: Make sure you’re NOT supposed to see your woman on the same day that you see your fling. Too many tell-tale signs.

Note to the women: if you want to catch your man… give more BJ’s. Think about it. If you suspect your man is cheating… you’re likely to find either

1. Remnants of the encounter around his stuff
2. A freshly washed pepi.

Rule number four In life, be unpredictable. If you’re always doing things that are out of the ordinary… she’ll never think twice when you come back with claw marks on your back… you can just say that you were wrestling a “cougar”.

Rule number five Don’t wear underwear around your fling… especially if your women happens to do your laundry for you. Oh, ladies. Do your man’s laundry, he’ll never suspect you finding him out. You DO have to go through his pockets right?

Rule number six Don’t use your own computer or a well known email address. Get another free, disposable one from gmail or Yahoo!…

Okay, if you’re a guy… and you’re girl ALREADY suspects you of cheating here are some fun things that you can do to really shake her up.

1. Ask for more blowjobs. The reasoning: “Baby, don’t you think that more BJ’s would mean that you would CATCH me in the act. You get to check the equipment ALL the time.

2. Tell her to wash your clothes. “Baby, you’re the most non detective woman that I’ve ever met. Most women I know would have started washing my clothes by now to try and see if they could find any evidence.

3. Tell her that you’re gonna go out and hang out with a few friends and let her know that (insert suspected cheatee) is going to be there. After all, all she has to do is wash your clothes and give you a BJ when you get back to figure out the truth, right?

4. Leave her. If you are cheating, you need to leave. If you aren’t, you still need to leave.

In conclusion, if you’re reading this article in the hopes that you’ll be able to successfully cheat on your woman… you’re a dumb ass. Don’t forget. This is the INTERNET… and these methods became obsolete as soon as I pushed the publish button.

Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this post ends up on a few womens forums with the command:

“Study THIS: Expert tells our men how to cheat.”

So, if you want to cheat on your girl, don’t read anything that tells you how to do it. It’s like giving your game plan to the other team before you even play the game.

(Note: author doesn’t recommend you cheat. Go find another chick to date.)

Check out this video… according to it… I’m a hellacious cheater. I even showed my woman.

Lets see, I:

1. Check the internet at all times of the night.
2. Have plenty of free email accounts
3. Generally turn my cell phone off when I’m at her place

It just goes to show that desperate people will listen to ANYTHING…
(here's the link to the vid, and the vid is at the bottom of the page)
http://www.angeleyesdevilsmile.com/blog/index.php/page/9/

I would like to add a #3 to the list of what women will find if they are cheating....

#3. Yes a woman can especially tell if giving a bj, when she feels or sees raw spots on his manhood/testes. No shit.....it has happened.LOL

Raw spots? That guy is just an idiot lol.

Most men are idiots believe it or not.....

Moreso than females?

That article is very funny, I like it. it serves a purpose.

Dont wash your junk with soap.....that is a given......

What do you wash it with if not soap?

You have to roll with unscented wet wipes......

This is straight from Tech N9ne's song I'm A Playa....

Never ever tell ya love where else you get your love
Move in groups no one on one when you hit the club
And you should know this if you call yourself a wicked thug
If you creep to the movies throw away your ticket stub

If you sexin' learn this lesson when you wash off
Just use hot water don't put no soap on your wash cloth
That way when you get home no questions you won't leave her bent
Don't be a dope and use the soap cause it will leave a scent

Don't tell a #2 that she's your one and only
Cause if she know it's way easy to go her own way
If you taking chickens to your secret home hey
Always go the back way to confuse'em just take the long way

Learn it and live it.....