So . . . what's it take to get good?

So.... what's it take to get good?

Hey there -

Sebastian here, writing in from Asia. I always seem to think well
here. I've been swapping emails with the head of a men's group in
Tokyo recently. Here's my reply to one asking about fieldwork on
program in response to where I mentioned my previous students'
success in Japan (my first program in Japan last year, one client
slept with two women on program; the other lost his virginity on
the second night of the program - great guys and great times).

So what's it take to good? It's not being a maniac about going out
all the time. Here's my take:

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TD -

Yes. And not necessarily every student will meet and get along with
a girl on program and go on to do things that particular evening -
though people who practice afterwards almost assuredly will (at
least, everyone who has put in just six weeks of practice so far
has been with a new girl). Actually, the timeline I usually discuss
with people to expect on progress:

3 Weeks until actionable, comfortable, semi-subconscious
recognition of our methods and cognitive models. It's quicker for
some people, but I've heard from clients that around three weeks
things started to "click" and they could rapidly adjust techniques
on the fly.

6 Weeks until tangible results as mentioned.

1 Year until being "as good as you ever need to be". Literally good
enough that if you hypothetically were set in stone with those
social skills for the rest of your life, you'd be happy with a
fulfilling romantic, social, sex life.

2 Years until being "ridiculous", if that matters to you - the year
one to year two gap is when things really start to click and you
see people doing ridiculous runs and crazy stuff, but that's not
really necessary for happiness. After you've been playing on a
solid level with a good foundation, you start working on "niche"
skills. I spent a year focusing heavily on how to go crazy and get
with girls in the same social circle once I'd been with one. Things
like that.

This is all assuming people practice *consistently* - you don't
need to practice a lot, actually. Our exercises really take less
time than an undergraduate course on accounting takes to do. But it
doesn't mean go out and blitz seven nights a week for two weeks,
then fall off a clip for two months, then go out like crazy for
three weeks and then fall off a cliff again. Just consistent
practice, reporting back, and adjusting based on feedback you get
from our very talented alumni, instructors, and friends - we really
have a great community and alumni forum.

But everything's that easy and simultaneously that hard, isn't it?
People know how to diet well, how to train, lift weights, or start
a new organization or business venture, and many people aren't able
to maintain that consistency. Everyone should walk away seriously
improved, juiced and wanting to practice, with some sticking points
eliminated and wanting to get out there more which actually means
being part of your group should help more. One of the major things
I realized about keeping myself motivated is that making your
intentions to get better very public helps a lot. If I go on a
diet, or training regime I let everyone in my life know about it
and it helps me stick with it. People offer more support, and I
want to be consistent with my word (in fact, all people do).
Likewise when I decide to implement a new project or benefit from
theApproach, I announce it to our email list and in our Alumni
forum. And so on. Getting alumni of the program to make commitments
to each other both in your Tokyo group and our alum forum should
help people stick with it, and that support network is going to be
awesome. And of course, having other guys who understand our models
to talk about it with regularly will help a lot.

We get praised often because our models are streamlined for
simplicty, fundamental, and nonlinear - so anyone can adjust to and
use them. They're less confusing to understand on a basic level, so
people should walk away armed with some new techniques. But that's
where things get interesting - painting might be fundamentally
easier to get started than building a replica Lego battleship, but
that "middle period" (2-6 weeks) is where the challenge in lies in
working with a powerful, nonlinear art. The Lego guy figures out
building legos and gets "some" results very quickly, but then he's
largely maxed out. It's built, and where's the room to improve?
Meanwhile, the painter is just getting started and is going through
the most frustrating part of painting. But... in the longrun, a
halfway decent painter blows away even an excellent lego
reconstructor in terms of creating art and passion.