New guy

Although I should be studying non stop for my exams now, I just quickly wanted to introduce myself to this forum. I'm 19 (yeah pretty young) and come from Belgium. Through the help of my friends I came in contact with the whole PU thing. I began reading books about body language, how women and men behave to each other etc. In 2 months time I could see a huge difference when going to a party. I became more confident over myself but at the moment I'm still coping with a problem I can't seem to resolve by my own.

Let me shortly describe my problem:
I can easily start a conversation with a totally strange girl. I tend to socialize with as many people as possible in the room and I almost always succeed at it. But when I get al the IOI's pointing me in the direction that she likes me I freeze. In stead of going even further with the game and try to kiss her, I block completely. From then on, I even succeed in ruining the whole set in just 2 minutes. The same things happen when the girl asks me if I wan't to go home with her and have fun at her place.

It may be good to add to this that I have kissed a girl only 4 times in my life. And every time I freeze, I think about what she would think of me if I kiss so bad! As for the bed stuff, I've got no experience in xxx at all. But I think that if I could conquer my first problem, the rest would go by itself.

I hope you guys can give me some advice!

P.S.: After the exams I asked some friends to go out and sarge the whole night long. So if you guys could give me any material that I could use.. BRING IT ON
(Sorry for my bad english)

~|Cell|~

Welcome Cell!

Its not that you have no confidence and skill with women. From what you wrote you are able to attract women. You are afraid of performing bad in bed. That's your problem. Therefore, you immediately throw up a wall and purposely ruin the interaction so you wont have to face that fear. Once you let go of that you will take off.

Welcome Cell. Meg has hit the nail on the head.

However, it's not that, if you can get past your kissing phobia, everything will fall into place.

Alright, you are right in that she will judge based on your kiss. So, be proactive about it. Learn how to kiss better. Then, learn some techniques to use in the bedroom as well to please her sexually. There ARE things ANY guy can do to send a girl to heaven, so to speak, sexually.

So, you need to study a bit. Learn some techniques on how to perform, and how to kiss. Then . . . ALLOW yourself to get EXCITED about trying these things out. THAT will then make a difference in your end game.

Also, you are attracting girls already and getting them to the point where they want to go home and fuck you. Why are you worried about getting "more material"? Just curious, but seriously, why do you feel the need for that?

L.A. Tripp wrote:

Welcome Cell. Meg has hit the nail on the head.

However, it's not that, if you can get past your kissing phobia, everything will fall into place.

Alright, you are right in that she will judge based on your kiss. So, be proactive about it. Learn how to kiss better. Then, learn some techniques to use in the bedroom as well to please her sexually. There ARE things ANY guy can do to send a girl to heaven, so to speak, sexually.

So, you need to study a bit. Learn some techniques on how to perform, and how to kiss. Then . . . ALLOW yourself to get EXCITED about trying these things out. THAT will then make a difference in your end game.

Also, you are attracting girls already and getting them to the point where they want to go home and fuck you. Why are you worried about getting "more material"? Just curious, but seriously, why do you feel the need for that?

Answer to your question:
Well, everything is based around the fact that I don't want to deceive the person. The reason why I would like to have some more material is to know how to overcome these problems. To this point I've used books and advice of my friends to overcome my shyness and how to laugh away my problems at home. (It's rather complicated.)
I'm trying to figure out why my brain now tells me why kissing a girl would be a bad thing. And I know that the problem is also related to the things I've seen seen in my life. Whenever I have to get close with someone I feel obliged to tell her what I've been through. In stead of telling her, I just freeze and shut completely. My friend, who had similar problems when he was young, conquered those problems. But despite the fact that he gave me some advice, I keep on hitting that damn wall. And I hoped I could find the answer to my problem in a book as I did with some previous problems.
I hope I defined my problem a little more. It's rather complex to tell.

The reason why I'm more social now and feel more confident is because all the time I felt like I didn't need to tell any shit about my life to these girls. I could be the cool me. I even often use humor to make them feel attracted to me. But when my brain spots the word kiss, I immediatly think of getting close/getting to know eachother better. I really wan't to get on with this. All these time I had the guts to overcome something. But this problem is chasing me for almost 5 months now. I've tried several things so far: talking with some girlfriends, just getting more loose, drinking a bit more alcohol. Trying alcohol to resolve this problem has been the worst thing. The wall seemed even bigger at that moment and my confidence just feeled like dissapaering through the whole night.

"So, you need to study a bit. Learn some techniques on how to perform, and how to kiss." -> I pressume you're not talking about the internet?

~|Cell|~

OK, 1st point. You don't want to deceive the person. That's excellent. More material from someone else won't accomplish that. More material from your own life will give you what your working for.

Point 2. Home life always seems to be complicated.

Point 3. Book knowledge won't completely solve inner game issues, which is what this boils down to. Remember this, you don't have to, and shouldn't, tell a girl your life story in the first 5 minutes of meeting her. This won't build attraction, and most girls don't like that anyway. It's boring. There's nothing left for her to learn. You should give her an idea of who you are right now, without filling in your life history as to how you got to be this way, right off the bat. Don't feel pressured to tell her all the sordid details about your past immediately. We all have skeletons in our closet. The girl you are attracting is no exception. Yet, she's not unloading all of that on you in the first few minutes, right? Taking that pressure off of yourself SHOULD help you to start avoid the freezing up thing too. Like I said, start to. It will still take a bit of time.

Point 4. Alcohol, as you've learned, is not a solution. The word kiss, the act of kissing, when done properly, is an intimate thing. It's a good thing. It shows both you AND the girl whether either of you have something to look forward to later. Look at the kiss, not as something for YOU to quality TO HER with, but as something for HER to qualify TO YOU with. Is SHE a good kisser? Don't say "I don't know, because I suck." No, pay attention to how SHE kisses. Do YOU like how she kisses? Do you not like how she kisses? In the area of sex, it's also more focused on the girl. You make her feel good, it makes it better for you also. Personally, I focus on the girl and make sure SHE has several orgasms. I make sure SHE is satisfied. Once that happens, I'll get mine, I'm not worried.

Lastly, yes, I am talking initially about the internet, in the manner that you can study some material on different techniques to kiss and for sexual pleasure that you can take to the real world. Then, yes, you do have to take it to the real world and make it work for you.

David Shade puts out some great stuff on this subject. You should check him out. We have much of his material.

That's an interesting point of view. I will try to remember those words when talking to another girl.
I've planned a night out with some pu buddies, right after the exams (25th). This vacation will be interesting I think..

I'll let you know when I've come through the first phase. Thank you for clearing me up those things. (I think that this is the kind of answer I expected from my friends..). THANX alot!

~|Cell|~