The Approach Anxiety Cure - I Hope You Don’t Suck

Notice… I didn’t say “instant cure”…

Anyway, from what I’ve found in my own personal and business life, approach anxiety stems from two things:

Number One - Assuming an absolute “worst case” negative outcome based on a situation that you’ve experienced that is in the “minority” of how things normally go.

Number Two - A status gap… or an “assumed” status gap.

If you’ll notice, both of these are based on flawed assumptions that you make about another person.

I say flawed because you don’t have enough information most of the time to really put together a valid, rational, picture of what the other person “wants” out of a particular interaction.

Let me say it again… you don’t have enough information to make EITHER of these assumptions.

Also, let’s look at number two for a second.

Most guys assume that the woman has a higher status than she really does… especially if she’s good looking.

Men immediately fall for the “halo effect” that these women portray and ASSUME that she’s the shit… if you know where I’m going with this.

(If you DON’T KNOW what the “halo” and “devil” effects are, just google the terms or search the blog… they are VERY IMPORTANT to know… yet no one talks about them.)

So, not only are you inflating her perceived worth… you’re also DEFLATING your own by definition in the process.

And the perceived status gap increases… making it EVEN HARDER for you to approach.

Here’s an idea for you… and I think that it will help you dramatically.

You see, since you REALLY don’t know about the status of another person… and you really don’t know anything about them other than the image that they portray…

… lets let our curiosity take over.

“I hope you don’t suck”

You’ll hear people talk about prizability… or you being the choser… or whatever…

But, for some people, I think that this may be a little too far of a jump right off the bat, especially if you’re a guy that’s having some self confidence problems… which we all have had.

So, instead of worrying about some of this stuff… just let your curiosity take control.

Seriously, think to yourself: “That person looks put together… I hope it’s all not an act.”

Or

“Man, I hope she doesn’t suck”

… and go find out

Look, in my VAST experience (ha, ha), I’ve found that hot women are just like regular women. Many of them have no conversation skills and get nervous talking to men.

Others just suck… and have weird motives.

Some, you just won’t click with at all and it’s not your fault. It’s hers because she sucks.

I don’t want make it all complicated by saying:

“You need to qualify her”

But it’s much easier if you’re playing detective and trying to find out if someone is really cool… versus trying to PROVE yourself to them… especially if you don’t even know if they are worth it…

You do this. And you automatically close any status gap… and actually make a gap in your favor.

This simple mind “trick” will work wonders. Try it, you’ll see…

Part Two Tomorrow…