I'm seeing this HB9 but I am getting a lot of resistance..

Hey Guys,

Firstly I want to say thank you in advance to anyone who reads this and decides to shed some light on the matter I appreciate it.

I am seeing this girl who I have been talking to for a while but at the time I started talking to her I had a girlfriend and I never really was able to progress things with her smoothly. I've hung out with her twice this weekend Saturday we went to see a movie downtown and then we went to a cool desert place and shared a waffle and shared some stories/amped up the kino etc. She always text messages me and I can tell she is into me as after every time i see her she says "when am I going to see you next". She is a very desired girl though and is very good looking.

While I was driving her home we stopped off near her house to talk in my car and we moved to the back seat to talk. I tried to make out with her and we'd kiss a bit but then she'd cut it off. She even went as far as to say "I don't want to right now". This also happened the next time I hung out with her I don't know if this is a form of LMR or what is going on. She's told me about Ex boyfriends who have used her for sex and only called her when they want to have sex, and also that she's the type of girl that can go without having sex that she "doesn't really care". So I'm not sure if that factors into it as well, but everytime I go in for a kiss or try to escalate in a sexual way she cuts it off, or she says I don't feel like it.

I've never really had that happen before so I'm a little stuck. I mean I know that she's into me for sure, she always calls me and constantly text messaged me and she just suggested today that we hang out again this weekend.

All advice is appreciated.

Cheers

You need to demonstrate to her that you aren't doing what the other guys were doing, you aren't into her just for sex. If you are into her just for sex, then you'll be outright lying and manipulating, but if you truly like her, then you just have to be congruent and it will show through.

I'd suggest not trying to escalate very far at all for a bit and not as often for the next little while after. Don't stop touching, don't stop kissing, just don't try to make out with her or feel her up and push for sex. Don't show that it bothers you, because she'll assume you are just waiting so that she'll be cool with it when you do, when really you are trying to show that YOU don't need sex either. I'd couple this with a few words about how you don't need sex either and you don't like because of the sex; you like her because you like her and physical intimacy is just one way you tend to express those feelings towards a girl. Let her know that there's lots of other fun things you guys can do together and you don't want to pressure her for sex or kissing a lot, but you don't think it's right to stop being intimate completely, because then you'd just be friends and you like her more than a friend.

Thank you for the solid Advice Rye! I totally see what your saying and I share the same thoughts. I have made it clear to her even before this happened that sex wasn't a big deal to me and it's a natural thing, and also that her ex boyfriends actions were really needy and that he was desperate. I said that because her ex boyfriend would beg her for sex and only chill with her when he wanted sex. With that being said this may or may not have caused the origins of my dilemma.

I got a little angry last night when she would bite my tongue while I was trying to escalate things and I said "You suck". Then when she said "When am I going to see you again" I said "Not soon because you keep biting my tongue". I guess this shows that it bothers me that she's not letting me escalate and it's showing her that I just want sex. Which is true because I am in a LTR right now, but this girl is very good looking and I would like to have sex with her frequently.

Now, with all that being said my actions were needy, and I would take them back looking back now, but what I can do is re-enstate that sex isn't a big deal to me I guess and not push for anything big for a while.

I want to f-close her now but I guess waiting a bit and not pushing will work better.

To add, I've text messaged her saying "You always pick the guys who only care about sex and are boring. You need to find a guy who doesn't care about sex and is fun". She sent me a message back saying "Your nice and fun". And I said, "Yeah I am but I'm hard to get sweetie . I know it's not you though your a sweetheart "

Hold up. If she's biting your tongue while you're kissing her, not in a mean way of making it hurt, but in a playful way, then she is WANTING to go further.

It's true that you have to let her know that you are not the other guys, so you won't do what they did. However, she's still horny, still has needs, and if she's playing with you in this way, she still wants you. Sure, this is LMR. And since it is, she needs re-assurance. How long have you been seeing her without having sex with her?

As far as her saying sex isn't a big deal, that's true to an extent. If the other guys weren't any good sexually, and she's never had great sex, sex really isn't that big of a deal to her because she's never been with a guy that's made her crave it. However, it could also be that she's blocking it out because of her past experiences, so she consciously decides that it's not a big deal so she doesn't have to put up with more jerks. In reality, she still has the same needs and desires as the rest of us. The key for you is to unlock those needs and desires.

Big P, women always speak the social truth, but not the womanly truth that's why the seduction community is so wonderful. In this community the variables of what to look for in regards to women is on total display. LA, has totally knocked this one out of the ballpark, she's woman who has needs, and really feeling you out bro. For instance, a good percentage of the time, when she agrees to go to the back seat, she's aware of what that can become of consequence(sex) Don't be fooled by her responses, but become more adept at observing body language. Also, she bites your tongue, that's sexual language bro, and she wants you to continue.

As Rye, pointed out, reassurance is by far the best way to convey to her that you won't use her just for sex, unless that's purely your motives. If you just want to bang a HB 9, by all means, I suspend any judgement, and will try my best to help you land the girl. What do you know about this girl? Connections. peace,lvoe and succe SS

Hey Guys,

I want to thank you all for the help once again.

I can tell that she is a little reluctant to engage sexually because she has had bad experiences with guys in the past. I have a few comments below which are answers to asked questions and comments I have to add:

- She bite(s) my tounge to annoy me its not in a sexual way.
- When I teased her and said whats wrong you don't know how to kiss? She answered by saying she didn't feel like it or didn't want to, and I went on to get a little upset.
- I have only hung out with her 2-3 times but we have known eachother/talked for 3 months or so.
- We have not had sex before.
- She's told me in the past that her boyfriends have cheated on her and that she's been used for sex.
- I know that she likes me for sure, but I'm wondering why she wont let it go further.
- YES I DO just want to HAVE SEX with her, I'm already in an LTR. (She doesn't know this)

Thanks guys Cheers.

bigP wrote:

I can tell that she is a little reluctant to engage sexually because she has had bad experiences with guys in the past. I have a few comments below which are answers to asked questions and comments I have to add:

- She bite(s) my tounge to annoy me its not in a sexual way.

If she's not chomping down in a mean way to definitely get you to stop kissing her and leave her alone, which is highly unlikely she's doing that, and you say here that she's doing it to "annoy" you, that's playful, which is sexual.

Quote :

- When I teased her and said whats wrong you don't know how to kiss? She answered by saying she didn't feel like it or didn't want to, and I went on to get a little upset.

She's been used for sex in the past, so this teasing may not be a good idea at this point.

Quote :

- I have only hung out with her 2-3 times but we have known eachother/talked for 3 months or so.
- We have not had sex before.
- She's told me in the past that her boyfriends have cheated on her and that she's been used for sex.
- I know that she likes me for sure, but I'm wondering why she wont let it go further.

She won't let it go further because she's afraid you'll be like the rest and use her, which according to your next statement . . .

Quote :

- YES I DO just want to HAVE SEX with her, I'm already in an LTR. (She doesn't know this)

Is EXACTLY what you are doing. Forget her man. You're just wanting to use her like the other guys have. That's not respecting her. Drop her. She's worth more than that.

While I see what your saying TRIPP I really want to have sex with her shes very good looking and a fun girl. Maybe have a casual relationship where I see her 1-2 times a week and if it doesn't work out with my current girl I can persure her. But I can kind of tell that I would have to date her/build trust to have sex in my opinion.

Im not sure what you guys think.

I agree with Tripp. She has been used in the past and you are planning on doing the same. Its obvious that she is looking for more than just casual sex. Stop being selfish.

Another comment I really feel the need to make here . . . if you're just wanting to fuck a hot girl, to feel the pussy of a hot girl, you can literally go find hot girls everywhere. Go to your local book store, mall, supermarket, gas station, department store, whatever. You won't see hot girls every minute of every day, but you will see them at different places. They are around. Pick up one of those because there ARE extremely hot girls out there that DO just want casual hook ups, and they would prefer to be discreet about it, which is JUST what you are looking for. Don't abuse this girl. Get one that wants what you want.

The other option is to get out of the LTR you are in, since you are apparently not that attracted to her, and build an LTR with this girl. But, personally, from what I'm seeing, I don't believe you want an LTR with this girl (for some reason), so you would probably damage this girl even more, which is NOT good.

Go with the first option above.

Hey I gotta say I don't approve one bit. I don't have a problem with open relationships and that kinda thing or sleeping with different girls all the time as long as you're honest with them. You could cause her real emotional problems. By all means be friends with the girl or even keep her as plan B incase things go wrong but please don't stray to the dark side of pua.

Thanks for all the comments guys, I really appreciate all of your input.

I really want to lay this girl despite it being selfish. I am going to sarging friday/sat so I will post field reports

I am actually happy with the LTR I am in the girl has a great personality but looks wise she is a hb8.

I want to have sex with many girls at the same time (not to sound like a pig) all guys want variety!

Having sex with many girls is fine, but there are a couple of things about your particular situation. For one, you're in an LTR right now, and she doesn't know that you want to fuck many other girls besides her. That in itself should be fixed.

Aside from that, I'll quote again what I said in a previous post:

Quote :

Another comment I really feel the need to make here . . . if you're just wanting to fuck a hot girl, to feel the pussy of a hot girl, you can literally go find hot girls everywhere. Go to your local book store, mall, supermarket, gas station, department store, whatever. You won't see hot girls every minute of every day, but you will see them at different places. They are around. Pick up one of those because there ARE extremely hot girls out there that DO just want casual hook ups, and they would prefer to be discreet about it, which is JUST what you are looking for. Don't abuse this girl. Get one that wants what you want.

Do NOT just focus on this one girl. This one girl that has ALREADY been damaged by guys. You're just going to add to that. You don't want to do that. You can find other hot girls. TRUST ME. Hot girls are everywhere. This one particular girl, this one particular pussy doesn't hold the world. Not since all you are wanting with her is a quick fuck especially.

Sorry P, but you I just lost a lot of respect for you man. I thought you cared about people more than you are showing for this girl; I think you need to take a look at who you are, who you want yourself to be and then see if what you're doing is really acceptable or not.

The girl has already been hurt. She's made it quite clear she doesn't want to be hurt again and you're completely disregarding her. You're doing this for no other reason than the fact you want to fuck her, which is just ridiculous, as you can find perfectly willing girls, that won't be fucked up because of your actions. Are you gonna be able to live with yourself when you sink this girl into a horrible pit of depression that may last for months and that will only further her psychological trauma, resulting in making it harder for her to ever open up to any other guy again and ruining her chances of falling in love with a real man that will actually treat her like she deserves. You're doing everything that I hate PUAs for right now and I hope that you can understand the gravity of that statement.

This may all sound a little harsh, so take that in, cause you know me and you know I'm generally pretty chill. You haven't done anything wrong yet, so you can end this now and just walk away. Let her down easy and tell her you are just at different points in your life right now; you are looking for a fully physical, fully open relationship and she's just not interested in that, so you don't want to hurt her. She'll be happy that you've saved her years of unhappiness and allowed her to find someone that she's on the same page as, which is what you should be doing. Go find a girl that wants what you want and you'll both be happier for it and it won't be so much work, for something you're gonna regret doing in the end.

I know players..they treat woman as conquests. If they see a babe, they tell their buddy that they'll be fucking her by next week. Screwing with other's emotions is losing respect.. She needs someone genuinly interested enough to renew her faith in men.

I can see that the other members on this forum don't veiw you as the average type of person to pull this degrading shit.. i'm pretty sure that they're right.

Remember the alpha quality: "protector of loved ones" ???

Can you handle the responsability of making sure she is and feels safe.
Do what the alpha male would do.

With the insults aside thanks for the input

bigP wrote:

With the insults aside thanks for the input

Um . . . what insults exactly?