Getting Out of Your Head by Juggler

Before I became a pick up artist I was a street performer. The idea of street performing is to get a few people to become interested and stop and then build a huge crowd of fifty, a hundred, two hundred people around them. Then you do your show, pass the hat with a suitable funny/guilt inducing "hat" line delivered just before the final big trick. A line such as, "If you have enjoyed my show, if I have made you laugh, then come up after the show and drop a five dollar bill in my hat. If for some reason you have not enjoyed my show, come up and drop a five dollar bill in my hat. There's no sense both of us being disappointed."

Sometimes I failed miserably in attracting a crowd. I would only have twenty people or five or two. I would beat myself up about it. I would try all kinds of things to get people to stop. I would cram in more jokes. I would wear fancier pants. I would drink five cappuccinos and run around like a mad man. People liked fire so I would have flaming everything: flaming torches, flaming unicycle, flaming pants. People would stick around to see if I burned myself up then become uninterested and leave.

I became obsessed with figuring out what I had to do to make it work. That straight jacket I escaped every night began to fit too well. I made myself crazy.

It took me a long time to realize that it was not about me or what size of crowd I could hold. It was about the people.

So much of what I teach seducers is getting out of their heads. There is only one way to get out of your head. You have to get into someone else's. When I was on the street I had to learn to get into my audiences' heads. I had to listen to their vibe and bring something out of them. I had to make them feel. It was not my job to entertain. I was my job to unwrap what was there waiting inside them. My street show now is much more laid back. It is more like a conversation with the audience than a "performance". I like it that way and I save a lot of money on coffee.

The ladies' man has to get into the heads of the women and the people he meets. What drives "Juggler Method" is interest and curiosity in other people. We spend most of our energy thinking of ways to make people more open. For instance, at the beginning of an interaction, we supply most of the dialogue, not because we want to dominate the conversation but because we know that she is not warmed up or may be a bit shy and we need to fill and lift the interaction. We make statements and talk about ourselves not because we are self-absorbed but because we know that talking about ourselves helps others feel comfortable talking about their selves. We get out of our own way by helping others make graceful entrances.

Practical exercise: Go into your next interaction with the mindset that you do not care so much how you are perceived. Spend your energy tying to make people relaxed and comfortable. Try to find out what their childhood teddy bear or favorite doll was named without asking directly.

Zen exercise: Sit in a mall or heavy pedestrian trafficked area and watch the people. Let your mind wonder. Where is that person going? What is that bloke's job? How long has that couple been together? What is that girls love life like? Just sit and let your curiosity drive your mind, maybe imagine some answers and story lines for your people. See how you feel after doing this for half an hour....