You guys are mustard!

Hello,
Geo from Belfast here. I'm a magician by trade. Don't know if I want to be a PUA maybe just a chump with the skills of a PUA. I'm not what you would call typically handsome so it's fun to get one over on all the beautiful people.

I recently read the Style book and also the one by the Gambler. Fun stuff. I can see how most of it applies.

What I found interesting about some of the theories is I have used a lot of them before I knew them by random acts of chumpery. Playing the room, status play, peacocking, cocky/funny looking back I've done them all unwittingly and they've worked, I just didn't know I was doing them at the time.

My house-mate and I have been adhering to the 3 second rule over the last couple of weekends. I'm a fine opener but a terrible closer and have been getting a lot of numbers but not much action.

I'm not really interesting in recycling other peoples lines, I'd rather take the concept and develop my own original stuff.

That's me.

Geo

Welcome to the forum Geo.

Well, prepackaged stuff is like training wheels, so if you want to come up with your own stuff that's great. Surf around the forum here. You should find some great info to help you grow, and then we have more advanced material (including all original Vault exclusive content) in our Vault. The stuff you can find anywhere else on the net by PUGs is freely accessible in our PUG section. So, look around, if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask, and we hope to help you on your journey here!

welcome!

welcome bro

Cheers guys.

I have had a look around. There's lots of great stuff here.

Let me tell you where I fall down and perhaps you can guide me to what I want. I need to learn to close. At the moment, I'm good at all the initial stuff. I can open, I can chat, I can do a bit of cocky/funny. I'm getting positive body language and lots of compliments/IOIs but then I flake out and just get a phone number (rather weakly). It's like I hook the fish then can't land the bugger.

My kino is awkward at best and I can't seem to phase shift from the guy they are all interested in to the final stages.

Geo

BTAFC wrote:

Cheers guys.

I have had a look around. There's lots of great stuff here.

Let me tell you where I fall down and perhaps you can guide me to what I want. I need to learn to close. At the moment, I'm good at all the initial stuff. I can open, I can chat, I can do a bit of cocky/funny. I'm getting positive body language and lots of compliments/IOIs but then I flake out and just get a phone number (rather weakly). It's like I hook the fish then can't land the bugger.

My kino is awkward at best and I can't seem to phase shift from the guy they are all interested in to the final stages.

Geo

If you like what's out here, you'd love what's in the Vault.

OK, sounds to me like you have just enough guts to push things . . . UNTIL you get to the physical level. Once you hit that you wuss out. You simply CAN'T be afraid of anything to do with kino. Physical touch is good. Are you comfortable with yourself? Probably not so much.

Next time you're in a set, put your hand on the girl's arm, on her shoulder, and on the small of her back. Those are simple and expected touches. Get yourself used to that and you can move on to more "invasive" places, such as her stomach.

As for getting a phone number. All you have to do with most girls is take your phone out, hand it to her, and smile. She'll know what to do, if she's interested. Or, you could do what a lot of guys do (I usually don't, but a lot of guys do) and say "how can we continue this conversation?"

If not closeing the way you want its not because your bad at closeing, its because your doing something wrong before that point. I agree with Tripp, he hit the nail on the head...your afraid to kino and thats what takes things from purely spoken to physical.

Kino is your bridge from plutonic interaction to intimate interaction, and the subtle things make all the difference. Without kino you get whats called the "high school kiss". Lots of akward silence and half ditched efforts to kiss her, maybe resulting in a wierd kiss and then more akward silence.

Kino makes the person comfortable with you touching them, then makes them enjoy you touching them, then makes them want you to touch them. Start out with small things like touching thier elbow when makeing a point, slapping thier leg or arm when they make a goof of you, or putting your hand on thier back when walking threw a crowd. Work your way into, as Tripp put it, more "invasive" kino like putting your arm around her, running your hands through her hair, touching parts of her body like stomach and thigh...

It will take work but im sure you can do it...youll be surprised how comfortable people are with being touched.

Cheers chief, that helps a lot.

I agree that kino is a very natural thing. When I look around a pub or a club I see all the boys and girls doing it without even thinking about it. I think I may have worked out part of my problem. About 3 months ago I finished a 7 year relationship with a very jealous girl because she was jealous of even the most natural and innocent interactions with anyone female I basically put a barrier up every time I spoke to a girl and untaught myself the kino I would've done naturally.

Am I comfortable with myself? To a degree but you're probably right, not so much. I've changed some things about myself since the break-up and the way women react to me now is still quite shocking to me! I used to sit unnoticed in the corner ogling. Now that girls are coming up to me and complimenting me or dragging me off to their table, it's great but not something I'm exactly used to. I suppose because the change happened so fast part of me is wondering "are they sure they got the right guy?".

I like the handing them the phone thing, more so than the other one. Is there anything inbetween the two approaches?

Thanks again for your help,
Geo

Cheers Ka.

Yes, I definitely agree with that and it seems to agree with what I was saying last (we posted at the same time): I'm bad at kino!

It's not that I don't know what I should be doing but it justs feels a bit awkward and unnatural. Maybe if I start being a bit more hands on and relaxed with everyone I'll get my natural kino instincts back. Rather than being a man beside a girl wondering what part of her to touch.

Geo

You're welcome man.

Well, just handing them the phone usually works extremely well for me, because I HAVE control of the frame anyway, and the girl knows it, and she's having a blast with me and WANTS me to call her and get back with her. I've even had the girl make me promise, more than once, to definitely call her, lol.

Something that you could say is in between the two is something else that I've done. I've had a girl dial my number before so I could "check the volume of my ringer". She did it. Then I said, "good, now you have my number, give me a call," and left it at that, with a smile. Of course, we had already been talking a few minutes, she was already laughing, blah blah blah.

Another one I've done is this . . . I was telling a girl what one of my favorite songs is. She hadn't heard it, so I told her to call my phone so that she could hear it. We went to a quieter place of the club, she dialed my number, heard the ring tone, then said we should swap numbers so we could keep in touch. I smiled. She said "oh, we just did," lol. Then she told me I was slick. She still keeps in touch with me today and that was a couple of months ago. She's from out of town, actually about 6 or 7 hours away, and every weekend that she's in she drops me a text wanting to know where I am and what I'm doing that night.

So, there's a couple of options.

Cheers, I like those. i'll have a play around with them.

I do agree with what you and Ka said though I probably need to get the kino right first or I'll be getting the number for the wrong reason.